Everything I Need To Know About Christianity, I Learned From Indiana Jones

[Kae]

You know that feeling when your sleep is disturbed by your phone, and you are somehow aware that it is morning, but have no idea what time it actually is....then you panic, and clumsily leap out of bed, rushing to the phone, praying you aren't late for work?

As my husband oh-so-gracefully tried to jump out of bed to get to his phone, he bounced over top of me, breaking my blissful slumber with the entire weight of his body, focused by his KNEECAP, coming down onto the top of my left foot.

The poor thing is broken to bits.

On top of that (Murphy's Law, and all), my computer just decided to stop working. It was perfectly fine, I put it in sleep mode, and the next morning, the damn thing can't locate an operating system O_o I swear, Macs are like Mercedes...they don't break often, but when they do, it's a GD pain in the ASS to get it fixed. And expensive, too!

So, here I am, unable to walk, and without a computer. All I have been doing is watching tv and movies all day long >_< I'm not big on tv, in general. But, I have learned a lot of useless things over the past 5 days.

The first bomb dropped on Berlin by the Allies in WWII killed an elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

Indiana Jones would be nothing without Sean Connery.

Load-bearing walls almost always run perpendicular to floor braces.

S-21 was some awful shit in Cambodia.

Iron maidens had spikes at eye, breast, stomach, and groin levels.

Italy and Spain were the only countries that regularly burned "witches" alive; others strangled the "witch" before setting fire to her.

The reasoning for burning heretics at the stake was that the fire would help prepare them for the eternal fires of Hell.

It takes, on average, 2 hours for a person to burn to death.

Hitler's favorite movie was Snow White,`and the Seven Dwarves.

The only difference between moonshine and whiskey/bourbon is that moonshine is not aged.

Headlice would go extinct if humans died out.




I now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

[Akkbar]

my friend ages his shine. and, as a scotch drinker, i take offence to that!

[newsman]

The cockroach population would also be drastically reduced if we humans were to depart the earth.

Thanks for the infobits and get better soon.

[Allia22]

Yech, that sucks

My mum would take offense to the Indiana Jones comment, though

[Dunkel!]

Also regarding moonshine and whiskey / bourbon difference. Moonshine, white lightning, corn squeezin's, mountain dew etc. are all slang for corn whiskey. Every corn containing sour mash liquor is a whiskey, but legally can only be called bourbon if made in Bourbon County Kentucky. That's why Wild Turkey, Maker's Mark, Jim Beam, Knob Creek etc are bourbons and Jack Daniels is sour mash whiskey (because it's made in TN.)