Need A Sign

[cypress]

Need a Sign?

From Andy Rooney (CBS 60 MINUTES PROGRAM):


Stupid people should have to wear signs that
just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you
wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never
mind, didn't see your sign." It's
like before we moved.

Our house was full of boxes and there was a
U-Haul truck in our driveway. My
neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how
many boxes it takes.  Here's your
sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a
buddy of mine, we pulled his boat
into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all
them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into
giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on
the Discovery Channel. There

was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And
there's only one way to test it.
"Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They
want you to jump into this pool of
sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't
wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my
truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he
said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three  just
swelled right up on me. Here's your
sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year
ago. A guy came over to the house and
drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs
the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn
that's hot!"  See, if he'd been  wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days
of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I
misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed
in for help and eventually a local
cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ... okay...no problem. I thought for
sure he was clear

of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is
your truck stuck?" I couldn't help
myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a
bridge...here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a
co-worker looked at me and said, "Are
you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago.

Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this
to all your friends.  The next time
someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.