Ask A Gay Guy Anything...

[bjelder]

In light of the last thread, I think people still have a lot of questions about homosexuality.

I've done this before on a different message board and it was a huge success.

I am a 19 year old gay dude in a monogamous relationship of just over a year.

Ask away!

[Dereksd]

do you plan to move to cali and get married?if so can i come?so glad california being so contemporary finally did something about this.im not gay but i have alot of gay friends and in my mind gay straight black white is not a reason for treating someone differently.

[bjelder]

No plans to move to CA permanently. I live in MD right now and would LOVE to move back here. Luckily, MD is one of the few states that recognizes out of state gay marriages.. so I may temporarily move to Mass to get married, then haul ass back home.

[Dereksd]

wont go to mass but if you do it in cali im there.after wedding hookah party ftw Edited June 6, 2008 by Dereksd

[bjelder]

Hahah yeah it'll be the most badass reception ever.

Free shisha for all!!!

[Dereksd]

Hahah yeah it'll be the most badass reception ever.

Free shisha for all!!!

free shisha=maybe i will go to mass

[Dereksd]

dude hookah center pieces on all the tables would be sooooo sick

[Bulldog_916]

Was there an awkward stage where you were dating chicks that you had no desire for?

That was something I saw pretty much glaring at me back in HS. A dude would be SURROUNDED by hot women and wouldnt be dating ANY OF THEM. By his attitudes toward them and his general demeanor, I could tell he was gay. Come to find out about 2 years later that 3/4 of them were gay. I havent seen anything on the 4th one, so dont know what happened to him.

[bjelder]

To some extent... but I had to do my share of experimenting to see what I liked and didn't. I didn't fully accept it until I was about 15 or so, so I was a bit of a "late bloomer".

I don't act gay at all, so nobody really knew. Came as a shock to a lot of people.. I haven't gotten any crap about it though.

Im a pretty chill dude so you couldn't tell just by looking at me or talking to me, so I avoid most of the stereotypes.

[Exile]

Do you believe there is a gay gene, or homosexuality via environmental preference?

[SimplexCoda]

Do you feel that being gay is something that chooses you or that you choose? If the latter what do you feel made you choose this lifestyle?

[bjelder]

Do you feel that being gay is something that chooses you or that you choose? If the latter what do you feel made you choose this lifestyle?

If its a choice.. when did you choose to be straight?

I don't think ya did! You were just attracted to women right? Got your rocks off looking at naked women when you were younger, like the way they smell, the way they do their hair, etc.

Being a homosexual is NOT a choice. HOWEVER, embracing your homosexuality and living life as a gay man, IS.

Thats the most common misconception. I could torture myself and settle down with a woman and live a 'straight' life if I wanted to, but I'd be miserable.

[Tati]

This is really interesting!
It makes me happy to see that you are comfortable with your sexuality and able to do this.

How did you tell your parents and how did they react?
I have a friend that was shunned from her family and most of her friends when she came out. What was it like for you?

[HookahGuru]

Can u get a female lap dance and not get an erection? and if u do get one does this mean your not really gay?

[Dereksd]

Can u get a female lap dance and not get an erection? and if u do get one does this mean your not really gay?

could you get a lap dance from a dude and not get a boner?im sure whatever your answer is will be close to his

[Exile]

Can u get a female lap dance and not get an erection? and if u do get one does this mean your not really gay?

could you get a lap dance from a dude and not get a boner?im sure whatever your answer is will be close to his

win.

[bjelder]

This is really interesting!
It makes me happy to see that you are comfortable with your sexuality and able to do this.

How did you tell your parents and how did they react?
I have a friend that was shunned from her family and most of her friends when she came out. What was it like for you?

My parents took it really really well. They're awesome people, and told both me and my sister that it'd be ok if we were gay, straight, transgender, anything. They're very, very accepting people and I'm way way fortunate to have them as parents.

Can u get a female lap dance and not get an erection? and if u do get one does this mean your not really gay?

Eh.. I'm not 100% gay (I dont think anybody really is, its more of a spectrum of sexuality) so maybe if she was really hot I might.. but there's no emotional attraction there. I would never want to date her. Just cause you pop a boner at something doesn't mean you want to make that thing your life partner, you know what I'm saying?

[wpw36]

it is good too see others be so free with it and help others to understand my older brother is gay and i fully support him he lives in lincoln nebraska which is one of the most lbgt
accepting cities in the united states. in fact every year there is a gay pride parade

[bjelder]

Sweet!

I'm glad man. One of my gay friends has a brother who is waaaay not cool about it, and he actually has quite a deep impact on him.. so I'm glad you're chill with your bro!

[DarkParade]

atleast you not one of those gay people thats like im gay and if you dont like it fuck off and are all offensive about it
they are the people that make peeps not like gays

[chromecarz00]

If you, as a gay, can get a boner from a lap dance from a woman, thats for the most part an involuntary reaction triggered by your biological senses. This, in itself, would prove that homosexuality is not a gene, but a life choice. He is not concsiously fighting his biological urge therefore it shows itself. His preference, however, is indeed his choice which he also displays. Just thought I would point that out.
Mad props for you man. If all gays were like you, I wouldn't mind them. I hate the gays who are all out there about it. They annoy me in the same way an asian woman driving 25 miles under the speed limit does.

[Dom]

my little brother is gay and my wife and i were really proud of him when we saw that on his myspace, he put that he was gay and it was a shock ot me. my wife knew from the seccond she saw him, but the rest of the family had always either denied it or just not noticed. he hadn't told anyone else in the family, and for some reason homosexuality came up in a phone convorsation with my father (super-catholic) and i was arguing with him for hours because he was saying that if you are gay, then you shouldn't act out your gay feelings and urges, that you just have to hold it in and that was crap. saying that gays that perform gay acts were immoral people and oh, i just got so freakin' mad because how can a pious person like my father look at a couple who love each other so much and condem them just because they are the same gender. (see, now i'm getting myself worked up all over again. i need to calm down. haha)

anyway, when my brother came out of the closet, my father understood why i was so upset that day. my little brother is so strong for being gay in a houshold that is so close-minded. i really respect him for that. Before i left my little town in Texas where i lived with my parents, i was actually pretty unaccepting of gays because the culture that i was arround condemmed it. as i grew to understand it more, i learned to accept it, but since my brother came out of the closet, it has greatly changed the way i look at the world. especially the gay community. my brother coming out and being proud of it inspired me and opened my eyes more than ever before.

now, i'm still catholic, but i am definitely not close-minded like most other catholics. i have a better respect and understanding for homosexuals and i can thank my little brother for that.

[Luke69]

how old were you when you had your first gay experience? and what age did you think/know you were gay?

[bjelder]

atleast you not one of those gay people thats like im gay and if you dont like it fuck off and are all offensive about it
they are the people that make peeps not like gays

For sure man. See the thing is, I'm not bitter about my sexuality. I grew up with a family where it was accepted. I'm just a normal human being and this is a small (but important) part of who I am. I don't flaunt it, its just who I am.

Nothing against those who do, I've always said to each his own....

If you, as a gay, can get a boner from a lap dance from a woman, thats for the most part an involuntary reaction triggered by your biological senses. This, in itself, would prove that homosexuality is not a gene, but a life choice. He is not concsiously fighting his biological urge therefore it shows itself. His preference, however, is indeed his choice which he also displays. Just thought I would point that out.
Mad props for you man. If all gays were like you, I wouldn't mind them. I hate the gays who are all out there about it. They annoy me in the same way an asian woman driving 25 miles under the speed limit does.

Thanks man. However... it's not my choice that seeing a hot guy floats my monkey so to speak. So in that sense, its not a choice. I'm way, way, way more attracted to males than females. It wasn't my choice that seeing that triggers my hormones to get all wacky on me! hahaha.

my little brother is gay and my wife and i were really proud of him when we saw that on his myspace, he put that he was gay and it was a shock ot me. my wife knew from the seccond she saw him, but the rest of the family had always either denied it or just not noticed. he hadn't told anyone else in the family, and for some reason homosexuality came up in a phone convorsation with my father (super-catholic) and i was arguing with him for hours because he was saying that if you are gay, then you shouldn't act out your gay feelings and urges, that you just have to hold it in and that was crap. saying that gays that perform gay acts were immoral people and oh, i just got so freakin' mad because how can a pious person like my father look at a couple who love each other so much and condem them just because they are the same gender. (see, now i'm getting myself worked up all over again. i need to calm down. haha)

anyway, when my brother came out of the closet, my father understood why i was so upset that day. my little brother is so strong for being gay in a houshold that is so close-minded. i really respect him for that. Before i left my little town in Texas where i lived with my parents, i was actually pretty unaccepting of gays because the culture that i was arround condemmed it. as i grew to understand it more, i learned to accept it, but since my brother came out of the closet, it has greatly changed the way i look at the world. especially the gay community. my brother coming out and being proud of it inspired me and opened my eyes more than ever before.

now, i'm still catholic, but i am definitely not close-minded like most other catholics. i have a better respect and understanding for homosexuals and i can thank my little brother for that.

Good for you man. I wish all catholics were that way! Ahh.. in a perfect world..

how old were you when you had your first gay experience? and what age did you think/know you were gay?

I had suspicions from 13-15, pretty much knew at 15.. came out to myself at 16. Didn't act on anything until I was 17 or 18. Now I fully embrace it and am in a very happy relationship as of may of last year.

Thanks for all the questions guys. I knew hookah smokers were chill as shit :-P

[Dereksd]

for sure this is why i love hookah we all share a strong bond in lifestyle cause to me hookah is a lifestyle