Ask A Gay Guy Anything...

[bjelder]

What would happen if you dated some dude who turned out to be a chick with a gender change?

It'd be a little awkward, but to be honest I'd probably end the relationship for him not being honest and up front in the first place.

Nothing against transgenders but not really my cup of tea.

[Canon]

dont take what i say personally. as far as someoen being gay i really dont care and it wont effect my friendship with anyone unless they start trying crap on me.

what do you think about kissing your boyfriend in public. personally if i saw 2 guys kissing in public it would gross me out.

do you agree with adoption of gay/lesbian couples? and what would you teach your kids about that sort of things if you were in favor of it?

are you in any organized religion? if you are how do you justify being gay?

you said you werent totally gay (or something of the sort before) how do you view women? are you just unattracted to them? do you choose your partner by sex before how they are or are you unbiased with choosing your partner?

do you crossdress? or your boyfriend?

[bjelder]

dont take what i say personally. as far as someoen being gay i really dont care and it wont effect my friendship with anyone unless they start trying crap on me.

Fair enough..

what do you think about kissing your boyfriend in public. personally if i saw 2 guys kissing in public it would gross me out.

I think PDA is gross as it is. I feel the same as if it were a man and a woman kissing in the street. There are things appropriate for the public eye, and making out is not one of them.

do you agree with adoption of gay/lesbian couples? and what would you teach your kids about that sort of things if you were in favor of it?

I'm 100% for adoption for gay and lesbian couples. Hear me out on this one. When a gay couple decides to adopt a kid, its a HUGE ordeal and a huge process to go through. If a gay couple adopts a child, they CHOSE to have that child 100%. No accidental pregnancies here.
Now, people say that a child deserves a father figure as well as a mother figure. I couldn't agree with this more.. however, 60% of marriages result in divorce. Instead of a loving father and mother, over half of kids are exposed to parents that fight and end up getting divorced. Not exactly a perfect home. A gay family adoption would be very well thought out, a lot more than Britney Spear's little 24 hour marriage and 3 kids!

As for what I would teach my kids, I would raise them, well, as if they were my children (can ya believe that?? haha). I would raise them to make THEIR choices and believe in whatever they wanted to believe. I would however steer them in the direction of love and acceptance. I would NOT raise them to be all "hoo-rah gay pride", thats their decision.

are you in any organized religion? if you are how do you justify being gay?

Yes, I am a member of a christian non denominational church. I like it, there are about 4 openly gay couples. We believe that god loves all, and jesus died for our sins. Bible verses can be interpreted any way you want, and I can take almost any bible quote blasting homosexuality and argue its credibility and counter it with one that says exactly the opposite. Anybody is welcome to try
The point is, the bible is all about interpretation. You can interpret it to say whatever you want to. If people want to live their life by it (as many do..evangelicals, etc) I 100% support that. If they try to shove anti-gay bible quotes down my throat, I'll politely retort with my own and shut them up. I don't appreciate people telling me what to think or believe.

you said you werent totally gay (or something of the sort before) how do you view women? are you just unattracted to them? do you choose your partner by sex before how they are or are you unbiased with choosing your partner?

I can appreciate women, sure. I can see a pretty girl and consider her pretty. I'm not like....EWWW VAGINA. Its just not something that totally appeals to me and I am much, much more 'appreciative' of men. Its just who I am. Thats the physical side. Emotionally as well, I am much more attracted to a nice shy cute guy.

do you crossdress? or your boyfriend?

No, and no. Not our thing. If we wanted to date a girl we would.

Good questions!

[NickReppinThe909]

This is really interesting!
It makes me happy to see that you are comfortable with your sexuality and able to do this.

How did you tell your parents and how did they react?
I have a friend that was shunned from her family and most of her friends when she came out. What was it like for you?

My parents took it really really well. They're awesome people, and told both me and my sister that it'd be ok if we were gay, straight, transgender, anything. They're very, very accepting people and I'm way way fortunate to have them as parents.

Can u get a female lap dance and not get an erection? and if u do get one does this mean your not really gay?

Eh.. I'm not 100% gay (I dont think anybody really is, its more of a spectrum of sexuality) so maybe if she was really hot I might.. but there's no emotional attraction there. I would never want to date her. Just cause you pop a boner at something doesn't mean you want to make that thing your life partner, you know what I'm saying?

+1000000000

so on a different note how did you get into hookah then ? i have 3 gay guy friends who wont touch hookah and when i ask them
why they say "because im gay" and i dont get why they use it as an excuse because im sure gay guys smoke hookah too

[bjelder]

so on a different note how did you get into hookah then ? i have 3 gay guy friends who wont touch hookah and when i ask them
why they say "because im gay" and i dont get why they use it as an excuse because im sure gay guys smoke hookah too

What the hell? ahahahaha

Thats hilarious!

To me, thats like somebody saying they don't smoke hookah because they have blue eyes.

I always wanted to try it.. a local bar opened up where I go to school down in FL. Tried it out a few times, liked everything except the prices so I went and bought my own.

[Majid]

Was there an awkward stage where you were dating chicks that you had no desire for?

That was something I saw pretty much glaring at me back in HS. A dude would be SURROUNDED by hot women and wouldnt be dating ANY OF THEM. By his attitudes toward them and his general demeanor, I could tell he was gay. Come to find out about 2 years later that 3/4 of them were gay. I havent seen anything on the 4th one, so dont know what happened to him.

Saw the exact same thing with my cousin. He was constantly surrounded by beautifull, and mostly "hip" women but never seemed to date even one of them throughout the years. Then years later i went to dinner at my grandmothers house and some dude he was apparantly dating was there munching on some breadsticks no pun intended.

[TheScotsman]

You know, there is one thing in the back of most straight guy's minds... but most are afraid to ask.

Do you stare at guy's... er... parts at the gym/shower/wherever?

Ya, stupid question, and a but low class, but I have always wondered. I asked a gay friend, and he laughed at me, never did answer, but told me to quit flattering myself. (eh, maybe that was the answer)

[r1v3th3ad]

do you like n'sync?

[bjelder]

You know, there is one thing in the back of most straight guy's minds... but most are afraid to ask.

Do you stare at guy's... er... parts at the gym/shower/wherever?

Ya, stupid question, and a but low class, but I have always wondered. I asked a gay friend, and he laughed at me, never did answer, but told me to quit flattering myself. (eh, maybe that was the answer)

No prob man. I personally haven't had the opportunity to be at the gym or shower where I could stare at other's.......parts... but I dont really see a need to. I have a bf and thats enough for me.


But for some guys it may be heaven. Can't really answer that one for ya. I'm honestly not attracted to 90% of the male population.


And no I do not like n sync.

[liquidglass]

dont take what i say personally. as far as someoen being gay i really dont care and it wont effect my friendship with anyone unless they start trying crap on me.

Fair enough..

what do you think about kissing your boyfriend in public. personally if i saw 2 guys kissing in public it would gross me out.

I think PDA is gross as it is. I feel the same as if it were a man and a woman kissing in the street. There are things appropriate for the public eye, and making out is not one of them.

do you agree with adoption of gay/lesbian couples? and what would you teach your kids about that sort of things if you were in favor of it?

I'm 100% for adoption for gay and lesbian couples. Hear me out on this one. When a gay couple decides to adopt a kid, its a HUGE ordeal and a huge process to go through. If a gay couple adopts a child, they CHOSE to have that child 100%. No accidental pregnancies here.
Now, people say that a child deserves a father figure as well as a mother figure. I couldn't agree with this more.. however, 60% of marriages result in divorce. Instead of a loving father and mother, over half of kids are exposed to parents that fight and end up getting divorced. Not exactly a perfect home. A gay family adoption would be very well thought out, a lot more than Britney Spear's little 24 hour marriage and 3 kids!

As for what I would teach my kids, I would raise them, well, as if they were my children (can ya believe that?? haha). I would raise them to make THEIR choices and believe in whatever they wanted to believe. I would however steer them in the direction of love and acceptance. I would NOT raise them to be all "hoo-rah gay pride", thats their decision.

are you in any organized religion? if you are how do you justify being gay?

Yes, I am a member of a christian non denominational church. I like it, there are about 4 openly gay couples. We believe that god loves all, and jesus died for our sins. Bible verses can be interpreted any way you want, and I can take almost any bible quote blasting homosexuality and argue its credibility and counter it with one that says exactly the opposite. Anybody is welcome to try
The point is, the bible is all about interpretation. You can interpret it to say whatever you want to. If people want to live their life by it (as many do..evangelicals, etc) I 100% support that. If they try to shove anti-gay bible quotes down my throat, I'll politely retort with my own and shut them up. I don't appreciate people telling me what to think or believe.

you said you werent totally gay (or something of the sort before) how do you view women? are you just unattracted to them? do you choose your partner by sex before how they are or are you unbiased with choosing your partner?

I can appreciate women, sure. I can see a pretty girl and consider her pretty. I'm not like....EWWW VAGINA. Its just not something that totally appeals to me and I am much, much more 'appreciative' of men. Its just who I am. Thats the physical side. Emotionally as well, I am much more attracted to a nice shy cute guy.

Couldn't agree with you more on any of this man. My parents are southern baptist but some of the most open minded people I know. They don't agree with being homosexual but they're not going to yell it in your face or anything, they'll have a convo about it if convo goes that way, but they're not going to force anything on anyone. At the same time they're very devote and set in their beliefs.

Which is probably why I'm so open minded.


For the 'kid' thing. That's awesome. I've always been "iffy" on gay couples adopting kids because of the riddicule the child might recieve, but at the same time it's just a different type of ridicule and probably the same amount any kid with heterosexual parents might endure.
They'll def. be the stronger for it in the end, either way.


To help clarify the point of if you find women attractive.
Well as a heterosexual guy I'm comfortable enough in my own sexuality to appreciate how another guy looks. It won't get me off or turned on etc etc but I can still go "that's a really good looking guy" "I see why other guys/girls are attracted to him"
But like anyone there are guys that can't see another guy is attractive in a completely platonic, non sexual way. So there are gay guys who probably are the same way with women.

As far as PDA goes, no biggie either way for me. I might smack my girlfriend on the ass out in public but we won't have sex in public. So if gay guys want to hold hands, kiss, etc no biggie. I might look twice because people fasinate me and I'm wondering if it's genuine or just a 'shock' factor. Other than that I could care less.

Great answers man.


and as a small side story. I was hanging out with this hot little latina chick that lived with 3 gay guys and they had their gay friends over all the time, one of the best experiences ever IMO. They'd pick on us like any guy about getting some etc. They were just more open about it. Plus they never tried to push up on me because they knew I was straight, the compliments were nice though.

[Dereksd]

i agree i love my gat friends cause they will be like derek you look great or you look like shit and i trust that more than my straight friends ha

[Johnny_D]

What did you think of the Chuck & Larry film?

[wpw36]

as to the comment on the last page bout the in crowd chicks hanging with gay guys, to me it seems like a gay friend is some kind of fashion statement to them which is very degrading, but on the other hand lots of girls have gay friends cuz some of them have a killer sense of style(not by brother). jd i will answer that one from my point of view being that my brother is gay i liked the movie to me it seemed like a boost to the gay community, bringing awareness of how gays are mistreated(party scene). frankly i really wish that the united states would quit being so close minded on the subject of gay adoption and marriage like bj said there are no accidents when gays "have children" they have to adopt and they won't adopt til they fully know they are ready and thus are more likely to take better care of children and provide a better life for them because they are financially secure etc. etc.

[Johnny_D]

So called fag hags in the uk wpw.

[bjelder]

My opinion on fag hags, fruit flies, etc, is that really they just want a 'safe' male friend.

A lot of the times (and again this is just my opinion, not solid fact or anything) women want male friends who will remain just that --- FRIENDS. A lot of the times straight guys will play the 'friend' role and then move in for more, and I'd imagine this pisses chicks off quite a bit.

So, with a gay friend, they can let them be as close of friends as they want and not risk the friendship because the guy won't end up trying to sleep with her. Catch my drift?

Granted, some guys have a good fashion sense and can help girls (and a lot of them make GREAT shopping partners). I myself hate shopping. I have a solid sense of style but its mainly for male formal wear (cause I have to wear it every damn day to work, might as well look decent).

Edit- as for the chuck and larry movie, I found it hilarious. damn good movie I thought. as for its impact on the community, I'm not sure, but if I had to guess it was probably a good one. Edited June 9, 2008 by bjelder

[chromecarz00]

Did you like Brokeback Mountain?

[bjelder]

Did you like Brokeback Mountain?

Never seen it.

[r1v3th3ad]

who wears short shorts?

[Big Boss]

Ok, I have to word this right, I don't want it to come out wrong. What would you think/say/do if you told someone you were gay only to have them say back "I don't care."? The reason I ask is that last year, at my college, on national coming out day people were invited to wear a shirt that said "Gay? Fine by me!" I didn't wear one of those shirts, but rather I made one that said "Gay? Don't care." I believe that if someone is gay, then they are gay. They may have a different sexual preference but they are still a human being, just like me.

[Dereksd]

i went to disneyland once and it was gay day and i had no idea til i got there it was really cheery i liked it ha

[Jeff_T]

Are you very fashionable? Like, do you dress very well all the time? And, do you like wearing skin tight shirts that are too short? Also, going off Chuck and Larry, do you know anyone who is really out there like Nick Swardson in Chuck&Larry?

[bjelder]

Ok, I have to word this right, I don't want it to come out wrong. What would you think/say/do if you told someone you were gay only to have them say back "I don't care."? The reason I ask is that last year, at my college, on national coming out day people were invited to wear a shirt that said "Gay? Fine by me!" I didn't wear one of those shirts, but rather I made one that said "Gay? Don't care." I believe that if someone is gay, then they are gay. They may have a different sexual preference but they are still a human being, just like me.

I wish everybody were like that. Gay pride and 'gay days' at disneyworld sometimes make me feel like we're further alienating ourselves from society and refusing to integrate.

Its just like having a shirt that says "Brown hair? fine by me". But hey, they're trying which is better than nothin!

Are you very fashionable? Like, do you dress very well all the time? And, do you like wearing skin tight shirts that are too short? Also, going off Chuck and Larry, do you know anyone who is really out there like Nick Swardson in Chuck&Larry?

I don't really dress well ALL the time. I have to wear a shirt and tie for work, but aside from that its usually just jeans and a t-shirt... lol

And hell no to the shorts! Jeans or baggy shorts all the way. And is nick swardson the 'fairy' guy? If so....yeah there are a couple.

to each his own, man. his character was funny as hell though.

[Jeff_T]

to each his own, man. his character was funny as hell though.

Oh yeah. He is funny as hell. Got to see him do standup at school last semester, it was great.

[Scoop]

does this make you happy



i kid

[bjelder]

does this make you happy



i kid