Jump to content

Best Admissions Essay Ever


iamscott06

Recommended Posts

Found this on some other forum.. Waaay to good to pass up.

This was submitted by a student who wanted to go to NYU. I do not know if the person was accepted. However, based on this essay I hope they did.

3A. IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF NYU TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single- handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby d.ck, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA.

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (iamscott06 @ Jul 10 2008, 12:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (SuburbanSmoker @ Jul 10 2008, 03:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
is this for real?


I hope smile.gif Also, if it is real I pray the guy got in.


lol well its an epic essay thats for sure, but i know alot of people who got rejected by NYU with 4.0 and 2100+ on the SAT's. Unless the kid had the grades, and they like the "unique" essay he wrote i would doubt it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (OC4111 @ Jul 11 2008, 07:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This guy must be the son of The Most Intersting Man In The World. http://staythirstymyfriends.com/


The intro to that site was funny! Thank you!

He does sound like the son of the most interesting man in the world.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here's my admissions essay for CSUS verbatim:

"Dear Admissions Department,

LET ME THE FUCK IN!

I have moneeeeyyyyy.....

I can give you anything you want, anything at all! Money! Women! Men? ANYTHING! Just let me in!

Your truly and sincerely,

Edward Knowles, Esquire"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...