Taking An Indefinite Hiatus

[agentscot]

So the other night, my friend and I smoked some nakhla grape out of my new phunnel. it was a great session, but it caused my girlfriend to huff off, and lock me out of her room that evening. Turns out that she thinks smoking of any form is disgusting, is a huge turn off, and doesn't want to date any guy who smokes.... After a 2 hour conversation in which I attempted to make her understand the social and cultural benifits of hookah, her stubbornness prevailed, and I came to the conclusion that the only way to keep her from cutting me off was to promise her that i wouldn't smoke.

Call me whipped if you want, but I'd take sex over hookah any day of the week. And I seriously doubt many of you wouldn't make the same choice.

[hookah_stud]

A good girlfriend is definitely more important than hookah. So what are you gonna do with your stuff??

[staygone]

If the choices are weighted out and better for you not to smoke, then good choices were made.

Sex and better health are very good trade-offs for hookah.

-QM

[Doubon]

sex>hookah anyday,

you made the right choice until your relationship fails miserably..

but i dont understand one thing, how long have you been together? she makes this clear to you now? how long have you been smoking?

[agentscot]

i dunno. My stash right now consists of 250 grams of Nakhla grape and sweet melon, about 100 grams of nakhla mango, About 50 grams of El Hennaway peach, and a couple 50 gram boxes of al waha cola and cappuccino. I'll probably just keep it all on hand in case the opportunity arises to smoke again. I definitely don't plan on giving up completely. Only for the remainder of this relationship.

[agentscot]

sex>hookah anyday,

you made the right choice until your relationship fails miserably..

but i dont understand one thing, how long have you been together? she makes this clear to you now? how long have you been smoking?

been smoking approximately a year and a half. This relationship will hit 6 months in 2 weeks.
The thing is, last year in the dorms, me and my friends would all gather and smoke hookah. She would be in the room too, but never smoke. This lead me to believe that she didn't have a problem with smoking, but just wasn't interested in it herself. So it was relatively unexpected for her to reveal to me that she disliked it so much. She didn't have a problem with it last year when we were just friends, but now that we're together, she doesn't want me to partake.

[bjelder]

Haha, my significant other and I smoke hookah together all the time :-D

[agentscot]

yeah, i wish that were the case.

Oh, on a side note, she wont let me smoke NHT either. Not the end of the world, but still a little disappointing.

[EternalSoil]

dude... fuck that.... she knows you did it in the first place then waits almost 6 months to tell you she doesn't like it!? fuck her... sorry to be a dick about it but that's fucked up dude. and 6 months is not long at all... not long enough to keep you from doing stuff at least. My girlfriend (over 3 years) wanted me to quit smoking cigarettes, wanted, not made me. I knew i needed to quit doing that, she just helped me. She likes to smoke with me sometimes. if this girl is gonna have you quit smoking, knowing that you did it before you two got together pretty soon she will take everything away from you dude... Just letting you know..

[srawas89]

yea wait thats a bit messed up....any whoo I even though I am single now I probably iwll get a gf who loves hookah as much as I do. I know some people who like it but dont for athletic reasons (They are on a sports team). Either way if she waited 6 months before she started making you not smoke either she thinks that it is getting out of hand, she is crazy or something happened to someone in her family smoke-related recently. I know a friend of mine who has a gf and he was a bit weary to bring her around to the hookah bar cuz someone in her family died of lung cancer. Anyway it seems that if she knew about it before and only know is flippin out on you than it probably is something else instead of her disgust for smoking, I would look into that if I were you. Well good luck in your journey and I probably would take sex over hookah if I had to choose lol.

[*Veritas*]

I partially agree with eternal. I wouldnt tell her to fuck off or anything like that, but she did know what you did and that you enjoyed it. A relationship shouldnt have to make you completly change what you do. They are something that have mutual respect for each others hobbies. My Girl loves to smoke hookah with me but i have had past girlfriends that i changed myself to be with them and let me tell you i wasnt trully happy with them(not talking only hookah). If you want to stop smoking for you then thats fine, but if your just going to stop till you guys break up then i say whats the point of stopping. If you can see yourself together with her permenatly then that is better but if its just temparery than look back and evaluate the situation. Edited September 20, 2008 by Tiburonsrule

[oolatec]

That's like meeting a stripper... dating her... then telling her she couldn't strip anymore.

[r1v3th3ad]

I say time for a new woman


but glad to see you're that happy and found someone that means that much to ya.

[agentscot]

on a level of importance, hookah ranks far below sex. Its that simple. Yeah I'd love to find a girl that allows for both, however, it is slim pickings where I go to school (NC State). guys out number girls here about 3:1. And guys outnumber attractive girls here about 15:1. I was lucky enough to land me a hot girl, and I am not going to give that up anytime soon, even for hookah.

[EternalSoil]

see, when i wrote what i wrote i never said pick hookah before sex...

i simply said that if she's taking something away from you that she knew you did before that's messed up.

whether it be hookah or that you play bridge every Sunday night with your grandma. she doesn't want you to do it.

not being able to smoke hookah is the least of your problems with that girl.

I say keep doing it but don't hide it from her. Tell her she knew you did it before. and if she's serious about you two she will be ok with it. if not, waste of your time.

[agentscot]

see, when i wrote what i wrote i never said pick hookah before sex...

i simply said that if she's taking something away from you that she knew you did before that's messed up.

whether it be hookah or that you play bridge every Sunday night with your grandma. she doesn't want you to do it.

not being able to smoke hookah is the least of your problems with that girl.

I say keep doing it but don't hide it from her. Tell her she knew you did it before. and if she's serious about you two she will be ok with it. if not, waste of your time.

I fully understand that this is a sign of more troubles, so to speak. And believe me, this relationship isn't going to last any longer than it should. But am am going to enjoy it while it lasts. if she starts limiting me from things that are more important to me, there will be serious problems. For instance, in our discussion I made absolutely sure that she wasn't against me drinking. Because i drink far more often than I smoke hookah. I never really smoke hookah more than once every couple of weeks, which is why it isn't that big of a deal to give it up (around her). The most I ever smoked was twice a week at my peak. But if she starts banning me from drinking, there will be problems...

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention: As we were talking about it, one of the reasons I listed as why I smoke is that it makes me feel good and feel happy. She responded with, "but I wan't to be the thing that makes you feel good and feel happy."

...so yeah, the future doesn't look too bleak for me. Edited September 21, 2008 by agentscot

[duckhater]

yeah but in the hookah's defense, there is something to be said for an understanding woman, which it doesn't sound like she is

[Giant Ninja Robot]

Enjoy the sex

[Stuie]

Well, you are always welcome here. Who knows she may come around. My wife did when we where dating.

[Hojo]

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention: As we were talking about it, one of the reasons I listed as why I smoke is that it makes me feel good and feel happy. She responded with, "but I wan't to be the thing that makes you feel good and feel happy."

So fill her with shisha and light her up.

This reminds me of that episode of Arrested Development:

"I like not having fun...I like your idea of fun. I like...not having that." - Michael Cera as George Michael Bluth Edited September 21, 2008 by Hojo

[hookah hippie]

A good girlfriend is definitely more important than hookah. So what are you gonna do with your stuff??

That is definitely debatable

[r1v3th3ad]

on a level of importance, hookah ranks far below sex. Its that simple. Yeah I'd love to find a girl that allows for both, however, it is slim pickings where I go to school (NC State). guys out number girls here about 3:1. And guys outnumber attractive girls here about 15:1. I was lucky enough to land me a hot girl, and I am not going to give that up anytime soon, even for hookah.

I understand this choice...
with my girl, in long run I would pick her, she set me straight and I have my life on run, but if it wasnt her(a future life partner), hookah would be my pick....plenty of poon out there in the world.

once again, congrats on finding someone you're happy with, I 100% know what its like because I am there now and drunk

[Majid]

see, when i wrote what i wrote i never said pick hookah before sex...

i simply said that if she's taking something away from you that she knew you did before that's messed up.

whether it be hookah or that you play bridge every Sunday night with your grandma. she doesn't want you to do it.

not being able to smoke hookah is the least of your problems with that girl.

I say keep doing it but don't hide it from her. Tell her she knew you did it before. and if she's serious about you two she will be ok with it. if not, waste of your time.

I fully understand that this is a sign of more troubles, so to speak. And believe me, this relationship isn't going to last any longer than it should. But am am going to enjoy it while it lasts. if she starts limiting me from things that are more important to me, there will be serious problems. For instance, in our discussion I made absolutely sure that she wasn't against me drinking. Because i drink far more often than I smoke hookah. I never really smoke hookah more than once every couple of weeks, which is why it isn't that big of a deal to give it up (around her). The most I ever smoked was twice a week at my peak. But if she starts banning me from drinking, there will be problems...

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention: As we were talking about it, one of the reasons I listed as why I smoke is that it makes me feel good and feel happy. She responded with, "but I wan't to be the thing that makes you feel good and feel happy."

...so yeah, the future doesn't look too bleak for me.

See if you can sway her by staying calm and collected and explaining you do it every now and then. Try to switch it on her, she must have a bad habit or two. Maybe start telling her not to do this or that to show her what that's like.
And that last part, ugh i feel your pain man. If i had a quarter for every time my ex said similair things i could buy a truck load of Al Fakher. It's that magic women work to make you the bad guy in every situation.

[Bulldog_916]

You gotta put it in terms she can understand. I'm sure she has vices. EVERYONE has vices. Mine are freaking candy and hookah. Otherwise, not a single unhealthy habit to speak of. I dont drink soda very often at all. I try and keep on a diet that matches my active lifestyle. I drink only once in a while. If she doesnt want you the way you are, then nothing you are will ever be enough. Just gotta tell her that this is something that relaxes you, its drama-free, and its an occasional thing, not a habit. Someone has to wear the pants in that relationship. You got 2 feet on the floor and you know it wont last too much longer anyway. As long as she doesnt see it, toke away.

[agentscot]

Well, you are always welcome here. Who knows she may come around. My wife did when we where dating.

yeah, I'm still gonna be around here a lot. This place is like porn for hookah... Hopefully it will ease the withdrawal pains.

You gotta put it in terms she can understand. I'm sure she has vices. EVERYONE has vices. Mine are freaking candy and hookah. Otherwise, not a single unhealthy habit to speak of. I dont drink soda very often at all. I try and keep on a diet that matches my active lifestyle. I drink only once in a while. If she doesnt want you the way you are, then nothing you are will ever be enough. Just gotta tell her that this is something that relaxes you, its drama-free, and its an occasional thing, not a habit. Someone has to wear the pants in that relationship. You got 2 feet on the floor and you know it wont last too much longer anyway. As long as she doesnt see it, toke away.

I really tried to make her understand that it is only an occasional thing, that I never smoke alone, that I never smoke cigarettes, etc. i tried throwing every logical argument I could her way, but she wouldn't budge. She can be a very stubborn girl in some ways, but not all the time. But I probably will be able to smoke once in a blue moon and just not tell her (not lie about it, mind you, just not tell her).

Oh well. I'll cope.