Dumbest Mistakes You Ever Made

[Scalliwag]

I thought this would generate some really good stories. Mine are kinda lame but I have a few;

1) After several Shiner's I had friends over that had never smoked but heard me yack about it. So I wanted to show them what it was all about. I clean the hookah, load it up, and fire that bad boy up. I did not notice that there was no bubbling until the raunchiest harshest shit hit the back of my throat and I damn near puked.
Of course friends being the way they are they are laughing their ass off and taunting the hell out of me.

2) After reading a thread on starting natural coals in a microwave I damn near blew my microwave up... it's still a touchy subject at the Scalliwag homestead.

3) I forgot to clean one of my hookahs after having coconut milk in the vase. I think it was about a week. What I know is that when I took the hookah apart that was one of the nastiest ordeals I ever dealt with. It stunk, it was curdled up and stuck everywhere. I'm sure there are many more stupid things I have done related to hookah.

I know you guys have some stories to share.......

[Stuie]

Buddy of mine bought me my first hookah and we where so stoked to try it out for ourselves instead of lounges, we bought a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, Apple Flavor, and filled the base with it and loaded up Double Apple.

We didn't smoke again till next week, when we felt like we could actually breath normally again.

[thehelios]

Not me but friends doings with hookah:

1. Had no coals and he thought a bbq quicklight coal with gasoline as a lighter would be a good idea. I told him to smoke his creation and he threw up.

2. Friend left hose outside. Used hose the next week, took a drag, and a dead wasp ended up in his mouth.

3. Milk left in vase=bad.

[NIGHTS OF BAGHDAD]

the only one ive made was when i was done smoking and i took the tray off and it was filled with alot of ash and 2 lit 3 kings coals..so i took them off and put it on top of my vortex bowl and grabbed the hookah and tryed to pull the stem out of the vase..which was very tight and it just came out fast and my arm bumped the table and knocked the tray filled with ash on my carpet and burning my carpet...the smell was god awful and it took a few hours to clean out the burns and trim part of the carpet..lol

[Zyram]

my biggest dumb hookah moment was probably the night I decided to sit it on the table behind my computer. I usually set it on the floor to the side, but I wasn't really doing much on the PC, I was watching a movie. So, I set the hose down etc, and I had something I wanted to look up, so I turned my chair to the PC. The hose was caught on a part of the chair underneath where I didn't notice it, so down came the hookah, coals etc. I had just take off the windcover =( Holes in the carpet, water all over the floor (that had come up the stem so through the bowl and so it had a bad smell from going through the cooking baccy!). Ruined bowl of tangiers =(, holes in the carpet, big stain (luckily the water went onto a rug that I could get rid of). All in all it was definitely my biggest hookah fubar, up till then I'd never had any major burns, only ver superficial ones, but 3 coco's went all over the floor, and a part of one rolled under my chair and I didn't see it until several mins later! So that was a BIG carpet burn.

-Z

[inino]

i have alot of horrible hookah mishaps but here is a good one

smoking hookah in 130 degree weather in arizona at the river under the direct sun. to top it off we were drunk. i think we all passed out.

[Arcane]

me and a buddy were at the hookah bar, already a couple drinks in. we order another round of green bottles and mixed drinks and decide to get a hookah too. now, they normally set everything up for you. pack the bowl, light the coals, etc. a few minutes later, our hookah arrives and is set before us. my friend decides to take the first drag and exhales...no smoke. a few more drags and still no smoke. he looks puzzled and give it a final hurrah taking a ridiculously long drag. i thought he was going to pass out!

so, i look up and tell him, "hey, ask the waitress for some coals."

[liquidglass]

Ahh let's see memorable bad hookah stories.


1) Before I realized that hoses can rust (and before i found the awesome forum) let's just leave it at that lol

2) When I put actual fucking sunkist in my base for tangiers orange soda, yeah it tasted great, after i got past the whole "carbonated smoke" which while it sounds cool is like burping coke lol. Not terrible but def not great, clean up was no fun.


3) my first hookah (the surprise KM) breaking it's base
4) breaking my first small tangiers phunnel


- good experience, being able to fix both the phunnel and the base

5) using quicklights in the center of the small bowls I had yuck

[kbCorruption]

I was at my friends house and we were smoking some hookah. It was like pitch black cause we were watching a movie (Stepbrothers) with the lights off. I decided to move the hookah to a better position without telling my buddy. Funny part comes up, my friend lets out an obnoxious knee slapping laugh while doing a full 360 spin in his computer chair. Knocks the hookah clear across the room.

His mother still hasn't found the burns ... she would murder us.

[soldier92]

me and a buddy were at the hookah bar, already a couple drinks in. we order another round of green bottles and mixed drinks and decide to get a hookah too. now, they normally set everything up for you. pack the bowl, light the coals, etc. a few minutes later, our hookah arrives and is set before us. my friend decides to take the first drag and exhales...no smoke. a few more drags and still no smoke. he looks puzzled and give it a final hurrah taking a ridiculously long drag. i thought he was going to pass out!

so, i look up and tell him, "hey, ask the waitress for some coals."

Hahaha, that made me laugh so hard. Priceless.

Anyway mine aren't as good as some of yours but here goes.

1. Decided to bring hookah camping, remembered everything but the foil. Unraveled a roll of Three Kings, used the foil they are wrapped in and put the extra coals in the ashtray until I could find a better place. Lit up some coals, started smoking and got an awful, gunpowder flavored pull (from the foil), decided it wasn't worth it and dropped the lit coal into the ashtray. This coal proceeds to light the 9 other coals in the ashtray and I basically wasted an entire roll, one even exploded while I was panicking about stopping them.

2. Left an entire orange in the base for a couple days. It came out essentially as a gelatin mass. Grossest cleaning I've had to do with hookah.

3. My stem got stuck in my egyptian base so I grabbed the hose connectors and tried to twist it off, instantly turning my 4-hoser into a 2-hoser

That's all I can think of.

[Scalliwag]

HahA!!!! I knew you guys would have some funny shit!!!!

[kbCorruption]

3. My stem got stuck in my egyptian base so I grabbed the hose connectors and tried to twist it off, instantly turning my 4-hoser into a 2-hoser

That's all I can think of.

Wow bummer. It made me laugh though, I can just see the look of exasperation on your face. I would be mortified.

[jhanzair]

1 - I was on a summer trip last summer with some friends, what did we come up with? A smoking contest. I was the idiot who managed to break the record - pulled for over a minute straight (we were listening for the bubbling with a timer on our hands) in a hookah loaded with pure whisky on the base. It didn't end that well xD

2 - We had the brilliant idea to put the hookah on the table, light it up and start playing "baldinhos de merda" - a card game that involves slamming the center of the table every time someone has a four of a kind. Result - a very decent amount of holes in several t-shirts, arms, the table and the floor (that was made out of cork) Edited February 12, 2009 by jhanzair

[frost91]

so my first time smoking hookah was in my friends brand new honda civic. He got a new hookah and we were smoking in broad day light. So we take 2 hours finding a flower shop to give us water. Then we fill up the base pack the al faker...without water or towels to wipe my hands....so i use his head rest cover after i pack. Our session is going really good. Then as we begin to clean up, the trouble starts. We clean everything and the coals are left on the tray. As we go to dump the coals out, 1 coal flys off the tray and lands on his seats. being the smart guy that he is, he uses his fingers to pick up the coal, burns himself, drops the coal on another spot, burns himself again trying to pick it up with his fingers again, and repeats it 3 other times and finally drops it out the door. Meanwhile, im doing a backwards bridge because the coal fell on my seat......

[ilikemyusername]

my cats are assholes.
i left a hookah sitting on the floor oce and a cat knocked it over.i shoulda known better.
i was cleaning glass for like 5 minutes.
damn that was stoopid.

THATS

[supersubby]

so i had a party at my place and we had 3 hookahs going, km being the largest hookah others were qts... so we had some tangiers going in the km so everyone wanted some of the km so one girl decided to stretch the hose out all the way...and the km went tipping over...i franticly yelled "everyone move the eff out of the way' they move and i caught it and burned my hand and several spots on the carpet as well.

[FamiliarJoe]

so i had a party at my place and we had 3 hookahs going, km being the largest hookah others were qts... so we had some tangiers going in the km so everyone wanted some of the km so one girl decided to stretch the hose out all the way...and the km went tipping over...i franticly yelled "everyone move the eff out of the way' they move and i caught it and burned my hand and several spots on the carpet as well.

Good catch !!

I took my first hookah ever (MYA acrylic) to a lingerie party where everyone was wasted and nobody had any idea what a hookah was. So of course I wanted to show everyone what it was. Everyone was hitting it and getting in line for a hose.

A girl sits on my lap, hits the hose and says "OHH STRAWBERRY D!!", then stands up holding the hose tightly and walks away in the house while hitting it and pulls the whole thing and all the hookah gear off of the glass table onto the concrete breaking everything that can possibly break, and cracking the acrylic.

My friend and I were pissed, and had some spare parts to my old hookah..so we patched it up and made a frankenstein hookah in 30 min. We decided to drive an hour home and we wanted to smoke the hookah on the way home.

Of course we weren't in the best condition to be doing such a thing, so right when we get on the interstate we slam on our breaks for some reason and we lose the coal for about 2 minutes on the side of the seat. Lets just say it took a long time to not smell burnt carpet every time you entered the vehicle.

[K1024]

because my original base broke, im currently using a 2liter flask as my base...well it requires tape to actually be stable, and on the night i didnt have any but really wanted to smoke, so i set it up minus the bit of tape to keep it from falling over. everything is going great until my friend who hardly ever smokes wants to smoke, but the hookah is to far away. i grab the base and move it knocking 2 coals onto my 2 day old rug...

[Boricua]

1) The first hookah I bought was in a soukh (market) while living in Egypt. Having never set up a hookah for myself my roommate decides to do it following some online instructions. He did everything except clean the hose. The hose was blue, and later on so was his entire mouth.... He was spitting weird blue stuff for an hour.

2) One of the first times I decided to set up my own hookah, I smoke and everything is fine - then I had to leave so I take the coal off and dump it in the trash can.... I didn't realize that just because I was done with smoking didn't mean the coal was done burning.... It burned right through the trash, the trash bag, and then the plastic trash can...

[jeremyk]

the other day i knocked three freshly lit coconara's off my phunnel bowl and burn the crap out of my carpet and hands tring to pick them up cause i couldnt find the thongs

[ToncSTAR]

smoked in my car, had a very small ashtray so i just put the coal on the arm rest.

not really funny, but when my grandma was coming to my room (when she did not know i smoked hookah), i wanted to cover up, so i grabbed a vacuum and startin sucking up smoke. hahah

[mitchard]

An hour ago. Moved my chair and pulled the hose on accident. I how have two nicely shaped square burns in my carpet. Oh wells.

But on the bright side, I did catch the hookah before it went all the way over. Saved the hose.

[TizaNabi]

The first time I washed out my hookah way back when I cleaned the glass bowl in the sink, my hand slipped and the bowl broke. In 8 years I only had to do that once to learn.

[360alex]

MY BROWSER IS KILLING ME - mods plz delete the previous posts I made here.

1) Girlfriend knocked a still-burning Mya off the coffee table .. luckily a pair of soccer shorts broke the hot coals' fall. The carpet still got burned but some gross hookah water extinguised them thank god haha. She used the vacuum on the spill (ITS NOT A WET/DRY VAC WOMAN!) so the vac got ruined as well during that episode.

2) Same Mya - I was cleaning up my apartment for move-out (had burned carpet from Ep:1) .. I smoked a bowl then let the coals fizzle out on top of the foil for a while. Took the bowl off the stem and emptied the contents into a trash bag and walked away. However, the pea-sized red hot coals burned through the bag and into the carpet AGAIN. Smell burning and after investigation I saw that the little coalette had burned through the carpet and pad. No deposit for me.

3) Just moved into a new townhouse, new carpet. You can see where this goes. I was reclining on the couch smoking away taking a break from moving in ... and decided to be ULTRA COOL and snap a cell phone pic of the hookah with my feet propped up next to it. So i propped up my feet and kicked the hookah over .. hot coals on the carpet again. Same familiar smell, same disasterous results. Same pissed gf .

HOOKAH IS A LIABILITY PEOPLE! BE CAREFUL!!!!!!

The hookah room in my next house is going to be a tile floor

[MeHT]

Smoked my hookah in a bed a bit tipsy. Managed to drop the coals on my bed. Had to buy new sheets and quilt cover.

Had a cracked downstem pipe (above water level) for a while until I noticed that the smoke was way too harsh and I almost passed out after several hits.

Tried picking up dropped coals with bare hands. Saved the floor, spent several days healing my fingers.

Left a hot coal in a tough crystal ashtray, went to the other room. Heard a clank! but thought that was some random noise. After like an hour I come back to find the ashtray cracked in two with the coal burning a hole in my table. Almost had a little house fire that night, heh.

Tried drying a hookah vase on a stove. I have no idea what the hell was I thinking but the vase naturally cracked. Bummer.

Tried spicing things up by downing a whole bottle of good and expensive brandy in the base. Could smoke it after 2 hits, so I had to pour it down the drain.

Put some mint oil in the base. Actually, a bit too much mint so I literally froze my throat after a smoking session.

That all I can think of at the moment.