EsOva Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 so a grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender goes " ey, did you know we have a drink named after you?", and the grasshopper looks up at the bartender smiling and says " you guys have a drink named Larry?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonthert Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 One day a string walks into a bar...the bartender says...we don't serve strings in here, so get out!The string leaves, walks around the corner and ties a knot in himself an then roughs up his ends to make the real fuzzy. He walks back in the bar and orders a drink...The bartender says aren't you that string I threw out of here?The string says: Nope, I am a frayed knot! (Afraid not) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonthert Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Yeah, so anyways, a guy stumbles into a bar and says to the bartender"Give me a wild turkey."The bartender says "We don't got Wild Turkey""OH, yeah, I understand, that's OK...I'll have a-a a Wild Turkey" (Slurring)"Buddy, we don't got Wild Turkey. We got Jack, Jim, Seagram's and Maker's Mark, but no Wild Turkey.""Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking...Ima idiot! Well, just let me have a Wild Turkey then."The bartender is absolutely overwraught and says "OK, if you can spell Wild Turkey, I'll give a you a free bottle of it."The man seems to sober up a little and says "W-I-L-D T-U-R-K-E-Y""No that's wrong.""No, I spelled it right.""You forgot the 'F'.""There's no F-in Wild Turkey!""That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dizzing Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 hahaha, that's an excellent joke, i heard it from my aunt just recently in a different form... but anyway,a pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices that he's got a steering wheel coming out of his waist. "what's that doing there?" he asks the pirate. the pirate replies, "yarr, it's drivin' me nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitefanatic Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Lame bar jokes: A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a towel. Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks. A priest, a nun, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Told you they were lame! I've got good ones, but they're inappropriate as hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpico Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Hahahahahahaha I like the Wild Turkey joke...I'm gonna use that today.And not give you any credit. Because I'm a joke stealer.Mu-ahahahahahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonthert Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Why you little-?!?!I stole it from someone else, I don't know who. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpico Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Get over it Tangiers... you love me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonthert Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Not yet, but I'm working on it. Start drinking high-class booze and start smoking my tobacco, after that, you're perfect, I wouldn't change a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpico Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Who says I don't drink class booze? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpico Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 *high class booze, that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twang Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 I don't think Old English 40s are high class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonthert Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Nor is Zima and vodka. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpico Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 I definitely don't drink Zima or Old English 40's. Believe me. I drink quality beer, not disgusting cheap malt liquor - and definitely not some fad like Zima. I appreciated quality liquor when I'm in the mood to stomach it. And well...if you want to buy it for me.Ahh, just like a typical woman...to go out to a bar and have the man pay.hahahaa... I wish I were that kind of woman. Too bad I actually pay for my drinks. I really oughtta work on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonthert Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 I drink Old E and my favorite beer is Miller High Life. I've also been known to drink King Cobra. On the other hand, I prefer single malt scotch and premium bourbons. The most I've been known to spend on a bottle of scotch (Before I went into business, of course) was $250. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shimshamsam Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 A mushroom walk into a bar and orders a drink the bartender says "im sorry we dont serve mushrooms in here" the mushroom "says why not?" The bartender replies "BECAUSE YOUR A FU**ING MUSHROOM!!" i mad up that joke when i was drunk, then heard someone tell one almost just like only crappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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