Children And Hookah Smoking

[fcbayern]

So I have 2 small boys (4yrs and 1yr). The other day I was smoking and my older son says "Dad I want to smoke hookah with you". I explained that it was for grown ups and that he could not smoke it. I felt kinda weird telling him that. He's mentioned things about people smokin ciggs b4 and I've always said "yuck, Smoking ciggarettes is gross".

Let me also say that everyone in our family (except myself and my wife) smokes ciggs. I have always condoned ciggarette smoking. I put hookah smoking in a different category, as I think most you would as well.

I wanted to get the oppinion of the forum on a few aspects:

#1 Is it being hypocritical to condone cigarrete smoking and still smoke hookah?
#2 How should I handle explaining to my son that "what Daddy smoke is Different from what Granpa smokes" ( or should I even bother)

#3 Should I just not smoke until the boys are sleeping (hidding it wont help IMO)

Any other comments are appreciated. Let me also say I appreciate the input of those members who have children AS WELL AS those who do not..

CHEERS

[Fluffy]

#1. i have no awnser i dont give a shit on what people smoke. there is no difference in my mind from shisha and cigarette.

#2. dont even bother explaining the differnce. the kid dont need to be educated on every way to possibly smoke stuff. do you really want to be creating an expert on smoking. i mean hes a kid. kids soak up knowledge like i soak up chicken nuggets. the last thing you need your kid mokwing about at age 10 is all the differnt ways to smoke. he will probably smoke heavy when he gets older.

#3.thats up to you, talk to your wife abot it. i think its pretty dumb to ask a forum about smoking hookahs on tips for raising your kids. this is your kid and your wifes kid. talk to her about it, you know why you should. well BECAUSE YOUR TAKING ADVICE FROM ME!

Any questions?

[Dr. B]

I think it's in your best interest to not discriminate. I don't think a 4 year old is ready to comprehend the benefits of water-filtration and lower heat. Don't bother hiding it, you'll spark his curiosity; let him know it isn't for him until he asks more questions in high school; and try not to smoke around him.

But that's just my advice, talk to your wife.

[AKammenzind]

First two questions: 1. By condone, do you mean condemn? Doesn't seem to make sense the way I'm reading it.
2. Are you German?

That said, I think that experience in all sorts is good for kids. Just tell them how it is, always seems to work best. Wouldn't tell them that hookah is ok compared to cigarettes though, and definitely wouldn't teach them how to set a hookah up otherwise by time they're 12 they'll be smoking yours when home from school sick

Of course you could load up something heavy, like zaghloul or something and let them (well, the older one) take a hit... that should satisfy their curiosity, and give them an experience they won't want to try repeating any time soon.

[fcbayern]

First two questions: 1. By condone, do you mean condemn? Doesn't seem to make sense the way I'm reading it.
2. Are you German?

That said, I think that experience in all sorts is good for kids. Just tell them how it is, always seems to work best. Wouldn't tell them that hookah is ok compared to cigarettes though, and definitely wouldn't teach them how to set a hookah up otherwise by time they're 12 they'll be smoking yours when home from school sick

Of course you could load up something heavy, like zaghloul or something and let them (well, the older one) take a hit... that should satisfy their curiosity, and give them an experience they won't want to try repeating any time soon.

#1 Condone= http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/condone
#2 Not German by birth, But I love that country as much as I love the US!!! "Liebe Deutchland fur immer"

[Hobbs]

So when you said condone you meant you are okay with smoking correct? I'm going to assume you meant you do not allow cigarette smoking so I can answer your questions, because if you do condone cigs, then the rest of your questions are null and I don't understand why you'd ask them if you were alright with it.

#1 - To children I feel it would come across as hypocritical because they don't know the difference. Young children are VERY impressionable, what you teach your children (especially sons) now will stick with them for the rest of their lives. When I was younger, if my Dad did it ... then I wanted to as well. If your son sees you smoking a hookah every night, he doesn't know the difference between that and a cigarette then it's all the same to him.

#2 - I would first explain to him what it is, and the consequences and requirements... let him know it will have to be a decision he can make when when he's of the proper age, and educate him on the risks and why you partake in the activity perhaps.

#3 - It'd be worse if they caught you being deceitful, then you'd have something else entirely to explain.

Just my .02 though, personally I have no desire to ever have children.

[fcbayern]

Condone:
i guess i need to explain more,, I excuse cigg smoking,, but still see it as bad..

[smoke eater]

Well my kids are grown, one in college, two in HS.
I quit cigs when the first kid was born, then started again when he was 3 or 4. I quit many times, but never smoked cigs in the house. Finally gave em up 6 years ago.
I smoked pipes and cigars in front of them when they were older, early teens. I let them try it. I enjoy a pipe or hookah regularly with my eldest son. I find it very relaxing and we spend more time together. The kids get many lessons in school of the horrors of smoking, tobac=drug, etc etc., and I have been lectured by them.
I'll be the first to condemn cigarette smoking to my kids. But IMO, the vast majority of cigarettes are crap. The anti-tobac lobby got a foot in the door with cigs, now they are trying to equate all tobacco with disease and death, which is wrong. They constantly parrot results from flawed research. Politicians jump on any bandwagon that will help their image, so here we go with the next prohibition, along with propaganda and fear tactics.
With all that mentioned, my answers:
1 No. Cigs are completely different from hookah, pipes, cigars, in that cigs contain many additives, include burning paper, are obnoxious, fuming, stinky. No offense intended to you cig smokers. I'll even do a roll-up on occasion. The point is, they ARE very different.
2 See # 1
3 That's up to you. Personally, I would not hide it. Age 4 is a little young to give a first hit, but in my experience, forbidden = I want/need to try it.
Thanks for putting up with my blathering.

[Canon]

#1 Is it being hypocritical to condone cigarrete smoking and still smoke hookah?
no, i will not touch a cigarette because i know what it will do to me.
#2 How should I handle explaining to my son that "what Daddy smoke is Different from what Granpa smokes" ( or should I even bother)
compare it to food, i would choose peanuts, you are eating smooth peanut butter while grandpa is still eating peanuts in the shell
#3 Should I just not smoke until the boys are sleeping (hidding it wont help IMO)
let them grow up seeing it with you, it will be more natural to them.

[Boricua]

I think the smartest parents I know are always very upfront and open with their children. IMO the best option would be to tell hem: no hookah isn't the same as cigarettes - cigarettes are bad and can kill you BUT still hookah is only meant for adults.

That way they a) hookah is not for them and b ) they start learning about the differences between hookah and cigarettes Edited March 12, 2009 by Boricua

[AKammenzind]

IMO the best option would be to tell hem: no hookah isn't the same as cigarettes - cigarettes are bad and can kill you BUT still hookah is only meant for adults.

You're forgetting the part that hookah still ain't healthy... and there's a good chance that it will contribute to many of our deaths either through cancer or heart disease or some other related ailment. I wouldn't tell anyone that hookah isn't unhealthy, and like everything it has its risks, I just choose to trust my luck for the love of a good smoke.

[Zyram]

I remember being young, and my mom was drinking a beer, she explained to me that it was an adult only activity, but she did let me taste it when I was like 5 or 6, and I did not drink until I was 22. The taste of beer has been called an "acquired" taste, and I still do not like beer, I drink whiskey or vodka and mix drinks (I will drink good whiskey straight). I think the best you could do is be open with them, tell them about the risks and effects, and tell them why you do it. I don't have kids, but I do want to have them one day. I will probably stop smoking when I have them (or smoke on very rare occasions). I think it's all up to you how they learn about this stuff, I trust my own experience and my own research far more than I trust the propaganda we all hear on the news. You may be able to turn it in to a learning experience for them, teach them when they are old enough how to find out the answers on their own.

-Z

[ilikemyusername]

what can i say, i'm a smoker and a parent.

[Giant Ninja Robot]

I have two daughters ages 2 and 4.

Most important is the health of my kids and I'm suprised I didn't catch anyone mention that second hand smoke IS HORRIBLE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN. I have smoked in front of my children twice. Other than that I only smoke at night when they are in bed or when they are out of the house. Why put your children's health at risk for a decision to smoke that you are making? I plan to slacken on that a little when they hit about 10-15.

You can keep the topic of hookahs and smoking open to discussion while not flaunting them about either, it doesn't have to be a secret but it shouldnt be forced into their conciousness so early.

I feel that the age of our kids is too young to get into any indepth conversations about the minute differences between cigs and hookahs. Don't glorify smoking to them in any form at this point. They look at everything you do as a bible to live their lives by and will sponge up EVERYTHING into their behavioral memory banks. I want my kids to make their own decisions about what vices (we all need some) they will choose with a minimal behavioral imprint left by me.

It sucks to limit smoking times especially when I really want to smoke on a day off and the kids are up and about the place, but I feel it's my parental responsibility and that trumps my pleasure.

On the other hand I was fed (along with the rest of my generation) the smoking is the worst thing to do and you will get cancer and die instantly if you do lines from the public school system and when I saw my mom smoking a cig at about 6-7 yrs of age I flipped out and it really scared me.

So it's always better to talk to your children about these things before someone else gets to them but you need to pick the right time and age.

[Arcane]

1. to a young child, it will most likely seem hypocritical. they just see you smoking...i doubt the method will matter to them.

2. i don't really grasp the more modern way of raising kids, so my judgement may be a bit skewed. but, i do not believe an explanation is owed at your children's age. i knew when i was younger (around 8 or so), i wanted to try beer and smoke. i asked my Dad and he said no. when i asked for an explanation, he said "you're not old enough and because i said so." for me, that was enough to drop the subject. i think, once your kids are older to comprehend the pros and cons to smoking hookah and cigarettes, you should give them an explanation.

3. i'd say no to avoid appearing like you're hiding something...although, it does make you look more like a hypocrite. Edited March 24, 2009 by arcane

[Tom1]

I plan to slacken on that a little when they hit about 10-15.

I would have to agree, wait until they are developed.

Arcane, I think it should be less about hiding it and more about not having them inhaling it while their body and mind's are still growing. Edited March 24, 2009 by Tom16689

[Arcane]

I plan to slacken on that a little when they hit about 10-15.

Arcane, I think it should be less about hiding it and more about not having them inhaling it while their body and mind's are still growing.

i interpreted fcbayern's #3 concern as he wanted to wait till the kids were asleep so that they don't see it, not really for health concerns.

if fcb's 3rd issue is regarding the kids health concerns, then i would say smoke whenever and don't hide anything but take it outside. the fresh air will do both you and the kids good.

if the issue is in fact how i interpreted it, then i stick by what wrote earlier. don't hide anything, just tell the kids that they can make the choice to smoke when they are of age.

[PaperAlchemist]

If you explain it to him it won't be hypocritical.

Simply explaining with words will not suffice imo. Children are very visual and hands on.

I would suggest getting a cigarette, and then getting some shisha and show him the difference. That way he will remember there IS a difference, even if he doesn't understand the chemistry behind the differences until he gets older. He will remember that cigs are dry and smell harsh and un-pleasant while the shisha was wet, sticky and smelled better (to a degree).

I would smoke whenever I felt would be comfortable to do so, I would just make an effort to do it in a well ventilated area if the kids were around.

[gorillA]

Ever since i was a little tiny kid, my grandparents/dad/extended family would smoke hookahs around me and my older and younger cousins at family gatherings.

I wasn't permanently scarred, but my family talked a lot about how cigarettes were awful, how no one should smoke them, etc... And now I'm 18 and I have never smoked a cigarette in my life.

I think if you just make sure to reinforce the differences, the kid will understand (more or less). Besides, it would suck to have to keep one of your favorite hobbies a secret from your own family.

[ilikemyusername]

i dunno man.

[fcbayern]

Well I guess its time for an update,, I have decided not to hide my hookah smoking from my kids. I want to completely honest with my kids and I think hidding will give them the wrong impression. Besides they see plenty of people all the time smoking ciggs. Even just people walking down the street.

I smoke outside, so I let them run around outside while I smoke (no second hand smoke). I think this is the best decision in the long run.

[myrrhqueen]

Considering since if your son sees you smoking pretty often, and he doesn't know the difference, then I think you need to try to explain to him (in albeit more simplistic terms for a younger child, but still get the point across. Children are smarter than you think) the differences. That way at least he knows that one way is at least more safer and doesn't try to think "oh well I can get cigs easier than my dad's hookah, and its the same, right?" and instead ends up addicted to cigs.

[Vladimir]

Personally I wouldn't hide it, but I wouldn't do it in front of him either. That means I would wait until the kids were asleep or gone, if they get out of bed and see it no biggy, but I wouldn't pull it out and light it up in front of them.

Just my two cents.

PS: I disagree with those criticizing you for asking for advice here!

[Rani]

Here's the thing...... You likely do on a daily basis several things you don't want your children doing until they're old enough to decide for themselves. A glass of wine, hookah, whatever. You're the parent and you're over 18, therefore it's simple. "Sorry - not until you're 18." Period. I wouldn't hide it and I wouldn't hesitate to smoke where they'll see it. I wouldn't set it up in their room, but hey, in your living room nearing their bed time I see no problem with. I know, second hand smoke, etc., but I grew up in a household of very heavy cigarette and alcohol usage. I have very limited desire for either of them because my early exposure along with the "when you're 18" speech took all the mystery and rebel-cause out of them. Hide it and you guarantee you'll come home one day and find them smoking out behind the garage. Afterall, that's what most of us did, right?

'Rani

[inino]

chances are when they hit around 14 or so they will try it behind your back. thats how it works with cigarettes usually. Just tell them its not a bad thing, but it is something they are going to have to wait to try because it is against the law. what I can say is this though, when your kids have friends over hide your hookah because temptations and peer pressure will cause them to use it, which can get you in ALOT of trouble. honesty is always better with kids I think, I dont have any, but my parents were always honest with me, so i stayed honest with them.