Gf Broke Up With Me...

[chromecarz00]

it wouldnt hit me as hard if i wasn't going through a really rough time in my life...
but i am, so id appreciate any advice or anything i can get from you guys
thanks
-wasim

[Hobbs]

I'm not good with advice, but I would like to say my condolences to you, and I hope everything turns around for you in the near future.

On a slightly humorous side note, you'll probably save a lot of money at least.

[mitchard]

On a slightly humorous side note, you'll probably save a lot of money at least.

Truth.

I know the feeling man. About a year ago, I had a two year relationship end. Rough times, especially when we stayed friends. The feelings are still there on my part for sure, which still does make it rough from time to time. Just have to stick it out, as shitty as it may be.

My only real advice: Just keep living. Don't let it be the end of the world for you. Time heals, and as long as it may take, it gets easier.

[chromecarz00]

The thing is i broke so many of my personal rules for this girl. and she claims to still love me.
i promised myself id never put my best friend and my gf in the same person; broken.
promised id never date someone close to the fam; broken.
promised id never date anyone brown; broken.
and im going through a rough time socially, financially, emotionally...i seriously cant believe that she claims to love me and still put me through this.
its bullshit

[mitchard]

Yeah, same story. Claimed to still love me but needed time to be able to do her own thing. Sometimes I think it would have been easier to just totally break it off once we were over, but I am happy I didn't. She was literally my best friend before we dated (for YEARS, we became very good friends in middle school and didn't date til I was a senior in high school) and we are still pretty close. Like I said, it is still hard, but I didn't want to lose such a close friend. It will be incredibly strange at first (and I wont lie, it still is a year later for me), but just give it time. We didn't talk or see each other much after our relationship ended. We kind of went our own way for awhile, and drifted apart. After 6 months or so, we started becoming closer again. I did some things that kind of irritated the situation, but we are still working on it. She ended up moving to Arizona in the fall, and I haven't seen her since. Though we are not nearly as close as we used to be before and during our relationship, we still stay in contact and know we have each other if we ever need someone to be there.

I was going through a lot when it all happened. Stress with money/work, school, and other strained relationships with family and friends. I had a lot on my table, and it just made the feeling 100x worse. Just keep chugging along though. As shitty as things get, just know it gets better. Once you feel like you have hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up, right?

Its not the end. Who knows what the future will bring you. Maybe it will all work out with her in the end, or maybe someone will come along and show you a new perspective on relationships and love. Its all a learning experience in the end, and it makes you stronger as a person as weird as that might sound right now. I was told the same things, and none of it made me feel better at the time. But looking back on it, it helped me more than I could have ever imagined.

The brown rule made my laugh.

[Canon]

its something that will only get better with time. try to get involved into something, whether it be hookahforum, working out, or any other hobby.

btw dont beat yourself up for breaking your rules, i had some rules on who i got married and i broke a few of them when i married kathryn.

[An1m]

The thing is i broke so many of my personal rules for this girl. and she claims to still love me.
i promised myself id never put my best friend and my gf in the same person; broken.
promised id never date someone close to the fam; broken.
promised id never date anyone brown; broken.
and im going through a rough time socially, financially, emotionally...i seriously cant believe that she claims to love me and still put me through this.
its bullshit

If she wants out then she wants out, how is that bullshit man? She may still love you but does that mean that she should be locked in with you forever, until your life is wonderful and THEN wait to dump you? Maybe she was waiting for things to get better for you, who knows how long she's been wanting to break up with you before she did. How many times she said "He's going through a lot right now, I can't do this to him" or "Let's just see if things get better." I'll bet it happened more than a few times, when long term relationships breakup people usually give it some thought man. It's pretty selfish to think that she should be with you for your own sake.

She'd not putting you through anything, only you have that power over yourself, and only you can change things for yourself. My advice would be to remember the bad times. The heart likes to forget these things, but when you've broken up they can be useful. This way you remind yourself that your relationship wasn't always a bowl of cherries... and if it was... ignore me completely.

[fcbayern]

Well I am definatly not the greatest relationship expert. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. The only advice I can tell you is to try and keep your mind off of her. Hang out with the boys and your family. Try and enjoy being you again.

If you ever need someone to talk to... Just PM me.

Gus

[Hippo_Master]

Try to think of every positive thing you can do now that you could not do with her before and do it all. That would be the only way i could get through something like this.

[no longer welcome]

hey wasim, don't think things are so hard, i don't know you but will assume that you are like a lot of members and still young, maybe early 20's. what i can say is gf's come and go, and this experience is just that, experience. you will have more, in fact, have more, it's fun, there is nothing like a new gf, especially when you are first dating. all of this experience will make you wiser when you find the one you will contemplate getting married to. more experience, to an extent, will make you wiser and see things from far. enjoy your young life and don't dwell on this experience as i believe you will have many more. good luck,
John

[AKammenzind]

promised id never date anyone brown; broken.

I was intending to post a serious comment, but this made me lawl pretty good hehe.

In my experience it's best to just go pick an MMORPG to replace them for a while... really keeps your mind off of everything.

[Sylren]

This is going to sound so lame, but everything happens for a reason. It's true. Life always works out one way or another. The most important thing is to try and keep a positive attitude ( I know it can be really hard). Keep your head up and remember that it WILL get better, it's just a matter of time

[camelflage]

bitches be crazy, yo. bitches be crazy....


love is chemical, theres billions of other women out there and the chances that you can develop the same feelings for any of them are pretty good.

[cotsi95]

I went through the same thing not too long ago. My best advise is dont be sad just get mad. Its a lot easier to deal with if your mad at her then sad about it. That being sad my stomach still gets queezy when i see my ex or she texts/calls me.

[shalowlow]

Two Things:

Don't let yourself get down yet, I'm not saying that I know your situation, but sometimes people make mistakes about how they are feeling. You never know, she might be begging for forgiveness in a few days meaning that this rut you are in is premature.

But if that isn't the case, you'll eventually learn the following rule:

Ex-Girlfriends were made specifically to help you appreciate that future special girl that you probably haven't even met yet.

[Voski]

Sorry to hear that. My advice would be to spend time with your friends. I know that I personally get more upset when something like this happens and I am alone. It is sort of a downward spiral until I hang around with people.

Good luck!

[liquidglass]

Not only do I agree that things always happen for the best reason, even if it feels shitty at the time, it works out.

I also believe things have to balance out. You can't have good without bad, you can't be happy without being sad (not trying to rhyme but looks like it worked lol). You could have never had good times with your gf if you had never had a bad time before. Same will be true in the future. Just remind yourself that everything is a growing experience.

The whole 'when you fall, get up' saying is really true. You don't fall to stay down, you fall b/c it just happened, and you get up and continue on. (Related to everything balancing and this idiom.....you have to fall to appreciate walking/staying up right)


It's gonna be cool man, even if it's hard now, that's what we're here for


BTW, if she had fit all your 'rules' perfectly, then what fun would she have been? The best girlfriends I've had have been something a little different than what I was looking for. And it's always good to date a variety, then you know better you want next time.

[SuburbanSmoker]

Im sorry to hear that your going through it. i myself ended a 4 yr relationship last year and turned to the bottle. If i could give you any advice it would be the following

1. End any and all form of communication, not only will this help you move on, but at the same time your not stuck giving closure while getting nothing. If she still has feelings for you then she will make the effort to talk to you. too many of my friends have fallen into the trap of being friends after they break up with a serious girlfriend. it honestly does nothing for you except make you remember better times with that person which in essence will get you stuck in the same rut over and over again and never being able to move on. this doesnt mean you cant be friends down the road, however give it some time to re-adjust.

2. round up your buddies, go out for a night on the town. best way to get over a girl is to find another one to replace her. even if its just a hookup trust me itll make you feel much much better.

3. finally, always remember your the only person who can truely make yourself happy. Live life to the fullest. a partner/girlfriend/spouse should just be the frosting on the cake, not your entire life. Time heals all wounds, it will get better just stick it out.

[Arcane]

maybe i'm the only one that'll say this, go ahead and be bummed for a while. if you try and stifle it, it only makes it hurt worse. when you feel you've gotten that out of your system, stay busy with something you enjoy. lift weights(actually really good, imo), hookahforum, video games, etc. but, i do agree with what John said. chalk this up to experience and prepare for the next one. in this day and age, you're bound to meet someone again and maybe things will work out.

it's just part of life...you'll have your heart broken and probably will break some hearts as well.

but, yeah...it's ok to feel bummed...just know that life is still moving, make sure you're moving along with it.

[Tati]

Hey, sorry about your stuff.
In my experience, staying away from an ex for at least 3 months works best.
Meaning no phone call, no texts, no fb messages, no talking at all. During this time, feel free to be sad, happy, angry, anything you want.
And after three months, you can start talking again.