Attn: Ladies Of The Forum...all Four Of You

[dafunk5446]

So my girlfriend wants me to take her out to a nice dinner...like really nice. I was thinking it would be nice to give her a present before we go, like a new pair of earrings or something. Only problem is I am broke ....so I cant afford to get her new earrings AND take her out. Then I realized I have a few hundred dollars worth of nice fancy feathers that I use for tying fishing lures, and I figured I could rig something up.

This is just a prototype, I threw this together in a few minutes just to see how it would look.

Can you give me some constructive criticism? Would you wear something like this? Do they look ok? Or is this just a dumb idea?

[Scoop]

i can ask my girl what she thinks tomorrow

[TiLLooR]

I know for a fact mine would not like those at all. Just personal taste I geuss, has she got anything similar already?

[Doubon]

...if you're broke, shouldn't she be taking you out? Edited April 21, 2009 by Doubon

[ZWAN]

IMO I think it would depend on the girl
i've had GF's that would hate it and call me a cheap ass
i've had ones that would be all too stoked on the sentimentality of such a gift.

[Tati]

The fact that you are working hard and trying to make her something is worth more than any dinner.
How big is the earing?

[cotsi95]

bring her to smokefest austin if your broke lol its FREE.....you better be there!!!

[LJ04]

i'm with zwan. i think my gf would love them just bc i made them. if she takes it as an insult, time to bail.

my first thought was, "that looks like a fly". haha. nice tying skills! you should try selling these on ebay. if ebay takes off, go from there. i'm totally serious, too, especially if you can whip one of those up in a few min.

[dafunk5446]

I know for a fact mine would not like those at all. Just personal taste I geuss, has she got anything similar already?

No, but she is 3/4 Apache, and loves this kind of stuff.

...if you're broke, shouldn't she be taking you out?

No, I am not that broke. I just thought it would be nice to make her something unique, and save some money.

The fact that you are working hard and trying to make her something is worth more than any dinner.
How big is the earing?

Thanks Tati

It's a little big about 3 inchs, might need to scale it down a bit.

bring her to smokefest austin if your broke lol its FREE.....you better be there!!!

WORD!!!

i'm with zwan. i think my gf would love them just bc i made them. if she takes it as an insult, time to bail.

my first thought was, "that looks like a fly". haha. nice tying skills! you should try selling these on ebay. if ebay takes off, go from there. i'm totally serious, too, especially if you can whip one of those up in a few min.

No worries about her bailing, I know she would be happy I took the time to make them. Thanks for the compliments on the tying skills, I tie artistic salmon flies so this kind of stuff is cake LOL. I may have to look into selling them on ebay....but thats going to eat into my fly tying materials pretty quick lol.

[Sapphire]

I cant see the pics cause Im at work.

But... I will say that anything you do with thoughtfull ness, and sincearity is a 100% win in my opinion.

Im part Shoshone and LOVE getting home made stuff with pretty feathers.

If she does too, then its a Win win for you.

[tinyj316]

She's not expecting to get them, so its really a win win... if she doesn't like them, you'll be able to tell by the look on her face...

[JByer323]

Flytying FTW.

[An1m]

So my girlfriend wants me to take her out to a nice dinner...like really nice.

Is there any occasion for this dinner? Or does she just want to go out more?

[dafunk5446]

So my girlfriend wants me to take her out to a nice dinner...like really nice.

Is there any occasion for this dinner? Or does she just want to go out more?

More or less an end of classes celebration, we just haven't had the time to do anything nice lately.

[echotc]

They look great, it's the thought that counts. Personally I hate plain jewelry, everything I have is had made by local artists.

[Sylren]

That's a great idea! I would wear something like that for sure, in fact I have a similar pair only made from seashells. And the fact that you are making her a gift will mean more than anything. I think my husband needs to take some tips from you

[joytron]

before i read your thread i saw the picture and thought hmmm that looks like a fishing lure.


just dont take your gf swimming with those on

[gorillA]

I think it depends on the girl, ultimately, whether or not she will like it.


Some girls like expensive things, some girls like sentimental, home-made things.

[Sapphire]

So how did this end up anyway ?

[dafunk5446]

So how did this end up anyway ?

Not going out for another 2 weeks, have to wait till finals are over. I however, did decide on the pattern I will give her.

here they are

[Tati]

Those look awesome!!! I would definitely wear those!
Great job!

[Giant Ninja Robot]

Those turned out really nice Funksoulbrotha. Good job and I'm sure she'll enjoy them.

[ktiz]

I think they're tight.
I'd def were them if my ears weren't stretched.

[clumsygrace]

First off, I think there is more than four of us on here, thanks.

And secondly, it's likely that the It's-The-Thought-That-Counts rule trumps here. I know that I would rather have my boyfriend put some time and thought into something for me than have him take me out for dinner.


The earrings look really nice. I'd rock them.

[Sonthert]

So my girlfriend wants me to take her out to a nice dinner...like really nice. I was thinking it would be nice to give her a present before we go, like a new pair of earrings or something. Only problem is I am broke sad.gif....so I cant afford to get her new earrings AND take her out. Then I realized I have a few hundred dollars worth of nice fancy feathers that I use for tying fishing lures, and I figured I could rig something up.

This is just a prototype, I threw this together in a few minutes just to see how it would look.

Can you give me some constructive criticism? Would you wear something like this? Do they look ok? Or is this just a dumb idea?

Since you asked for constructive criticism, but didn't specify what you wanted constructive criticism on, I will interpret it slightly.

Well, let me tell you my experiences: I'm a 37 year old man. I have no idea what goes on in women's heads. I haven't had a lot of complaints, however.

We could classify women into three categories:

1) Women who thrive on love and sentiment more than material things.
2) Women who enjoy material things more than love and sentiment.
3) Snotty Women who don't like anything and are always shit-talking everything.

If your girlfriend is in category 1), she will likely like them or love them. If she is in 2), she will probably hate them because they didn't cost much or don't have an Italian designer's name on them. She will be polite and accept them, but be disappointed. The sex following dinner will be short and unimaginative, perhaps not at all. If she's in 3) You will know about it immediately. The fact that your girlfriend wants you to take her out for an expensive meal is usually a sign of #2 or #3. If I'm buying dinner, I decide when and where its going to be. If she wants to buy dinner (because my ass is broke) she gets to decide. If she requests or presumes to want to go out to an expensive place, when you are paying and you are broke, thats not cool. If you were uber-rich, thats one thing. If you're broke, she shouldn't make you spend yourself into debt for dinner. Celebratory or not is irrelevant. Will she propose you buy her a new BMW, too? You can't afford that either. It signals bad future. What about if you get married? How will you save money for a house if she wants to spend you into the poor house when you're broke? Is she going to change when you get married? Why would she and why isn't she acting that way now? I would suggest getting things on a more even keel now. I'm a firm believer in two equal partners in a relationship. Once you get on this tilted spending money thing, its hard to come back. Its good policy to begin this way from the second date on(Buying dinner the first time is fine, but tell them what rules you would like to follow) Here's what I've done with several of my ex-girlfriends:

1)We alternate paying, but randomly. We'd rock-paper-scissor for who pays the bill, after dinner. Thats so one person or the other isn't ordering side salad when its their turn to pay and Lobster Thermador when its mine. Each person orders what they really wants to. Its great because both people are only ordering what they think they could afford if they have to end up paying. If somebody else is paying, you'd be surprised what absurd shit they order if they are in category #3.

2)Whomever selects the restaurant pays.

3)One person selects three restaurants and will pay for dinner, the other person gets to choose which one of the three. This only works when one of the people in this situation isn't a skinflint.

4)Whoever proposes to go out to dinner pays.

5)We would go to restaurants in pairs, that is, we would go to Shoney's one time, I'd pay. The next time we go out, we'd go to Shoney's and she'd pay.

By special dispensation, birthdays can be the birthday boy/girl gets to choose and be taken out, but I don't do that. Split on holidays.

6)Go dutch. pay for whatever food you eat. You'd do it if you weren't together...why should it change because you're together? I like this idea, but I never do it. Its more fun to take people out and then be taken out.

Relationships should be between people that are equals. If one person has to spend a lot of money, and the other doesn't, how is that fair?

If she does stuff like clean up your house/room, make dinner most nights, do your laundry, then its perfectly reasonable to take them out. Only spend money on a person because you want to, not because the other person expects it. Same thing, ladies, for cleaning that damn man's house. If he expects it, tell him to do it himself.

Be honest, if you like to do something for somebody else, don't turn around and expect something for doing something that you like to do and chose to do. If they don't want to reciprocate by doing things for you because they want to, the door can be used to leave as well as enter.

Just my two cents.

Give her a gift certificate for a free backrub from you, too. If she's in #1 she'll love it, even girls in #2 are usually OK with this, too.

I like the earrings and I wish you the best on your date, man. Have fun.

Edit: you'll notice that most of the women here, who are nice, and friendly will adhere to the "Thought that counts." Because they are cool. Even women in #2 will say "Its the thought that counts.", but still be disappointed, even if they themselves don't know why. Sometimes women will think they are number 1, but end up being #2.

Keep your head on your shoulders, you are an equal partner in this relationship.

Edit #2:At the risk of being crass, judge how your partnership is going by how the sex is. If the sex is consistent (Even if non-existent) despite all the disappointments and elations , thats a good sign. If the sex varies when they are disappointed, thats a warning sign. 20 years from now, you won't be having any sex for all the disappointments that life throws at you. If the sex is consistent, thats a sign that they love you and don't care about how much you spent on dinner or earrings.

Ironically, if she doesn't like the earrings, it may affect how the date ends up. Its a risk. If you just do the expensive dinner, and no earrings its safer.