New Girl, New Fetish

[Genie]

well...with the stuff i've seen/learned...when i girl says no, even jokingly...you hit the brakes. get clarification first and then do whatever.

Right on. Unfortunately, a lot of women just can't see this from a man's point of view. She's naive not to consider that a man might not enjoy playing the aggressor all the time.

Hey, Lowspeed, think she'd trade roles with you some time and show you what she wants? Then you could get a break from being the "bad man" for a night or two. Heck, she might get into it. Mmm, don't forget to tell her your safety word if you try it!

[newjacksm]

Now girls don't get offended with what I say I believe all woman should be respected but this girl sounds like a real freak.

I think you should have sex with her see how it goes and if it's really weird then you should just leave her alone man. Some chicks are just weird like that and like to be completely DOMINATED. Some guys like dominating and well if your not into that shit then it isn't gonna really help you out in the sack.

Sex is a big part of a relationship i dont care what anyone says.

[Genie]

Now girls don't get offended with what I say I believe all woman should be respected but this girl sounds like a real freak.

She's no freak, it's just a fetish. She's not asking to be seriously harmed, it's just the idea of it that tweaks her waddles. But if both partners can't get into it, then.... Edited June 16, 2009 by Genie

[liquidglass]

Coming from a guy's point of view, here are my 2 cents.

Personally I enjoy being a dominate person in the bedroom, even into the whole S&M thing, it's a great sexual lifestyle even if you don't carry it over into your normal life like some people do.There are some levels I'm not comfortable taking things to because honestly there are weird fetishes out there and I don't want to end up perm. hurting someone. (that's the caring part)

(now you guys know a little bit more about me, and if you're curious ask questions)

Most girls want a guy to be dominate/aggressive, there are just different levels of it. From playfully pushing them down on the bed and taking the lead to bondage etc. It's just a personal preference.

A safeword is a great idea, but if she's unable to talk, without getting too lewd, as a result of gags or such things then a signal is great as well, tapping 3 times firmly etc. (the password I tell girls to use is pancakes, sounds weird, but who the fuck says pancakes during sex normally? lol)
- as a result anytime you're involved in a sexual situation like this, you can let yourself be primal and give into animal instincts but you also need to retain enough rationality to understand when no means no.

Believe it or not she is seeking a type of affection, not necessarily physical though. She is wanting to trust you to the extent to give you complete reign in the bedroom, that kind of trust and control is a huge thing to give away and is a big connection for her, as a result she feels that you'll have a stronger emotional and mental connection. Something any healthy sexual relationship needs, again it's just a diff. way to go about it.

My advice is to talk to her about it, figure out both your "hard limits" (which means will absolutely not do) and "soft limits" (which means something one of you hasn't done but would be open to being introduced to). Unless both of you are on the same level of experience in any area it's always wise to take it slow and work your way into it. (on the flip side if you both are already comfortable with everything you can jump in as fast or as slow as you want)

my entire theory in the bedroom is that it's not fun unless both of you are enjoying it. So no matter what I might like or have experience in I never go past what the other person is comfortable with (and that should work both ways)

Like any new experience in life, it's not something to shy away from, you should explore it as far as you want (can) to, you never know what you might discover about yourself.


Hope this helped some, if not I'll do my best to answer any questions.

[Barnaby]

I have to say.. Yum on this one... There is something to be said about that type of sexual encounter.. But to be fair, I don't know about a first time. I've had my share of resistive sex, but NEVER on the first go. That's normally something you do later after you get alittle more comfy. I mean shit.. Who goes out for a pseudo rape fantasy the first time out? Don't get me wrong, there is something to be said about someone wanting you bad enough to ignore the no (in a role play sense), but like I said. This is something you do, say the 10th time in..

Maybe its me getting more cautious in my old age, but the last thing you want to do is assume anything. Sit her down. Talk to her. Tell her, you're down with this game, but obviously you want to spell it all out, so you don't get mixed messages. And if she's not ok with talking this all out, then drop her like a bad habit. She's obviously got baggage and agendas you DON'T want. The last thing you need if for you to ignore the no's, take her, then wake up with cops at the door for the rape you committed last night... If she is in to you, you'd think she'd at least respect you enough to talk about it all first, before you take the plunge..

Oh, and Eric.. I'm quoting that for the truth there!!! "treat them with respect, whether you're holding hands in a movie, or pissing in their mouth." LOL

[lowspeedchase]

I am overwhelmed by all the responses, you guys rock hard.

Ive never heard of "no means yes", all girls know that no means no. If shes into s&m, she needs to introduce you to it slowly, not bring it all out on the 1st time.
Make sure its all safe, sane and consensual...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe,_sane_and_consensual

But have fun!

It's always safe and consensual... what was the third thing again?

From your orig post.. I don't think she wants S&M . Sounds like she just wants to be enticed, and seduced. You may not have to go as far as S&M.

Perhaps even involve a little " light bondage" nothing crazy. She wants to be taken sweetly...but not have it be her "fault "


Been here once. Trust me.

I trust you. Some of the other people commented on it being a little bizarre that she pulled this card out the first time though.

Where did the s&m stuff come in??????
It sounded like she just wants to be taken.

I dated a girl like that once, and I hated it. I think sometimes guys like girls to take the initiative.
I can tell you its 50/50 with my girl. Sometimes she starts it, sometimes I start it.

Only seems fair. I had one girl tell me dont you know NO means YES. the relationship lasted1 month.
Tooweird too wild

Only time will tell I guess with this one.

Woman's point of view.....

A woman telling you no, you'd really better listen from the legal standpoint regardless of whether no means yes to her. That might be her view now, what's her view going to be after should you piss her off for any reason? That's not a reasonable risk to take for someone you've only known a few weeks.

Why the rush to hit the sheets? You're young, single and surely you have other, ahem, outlets if you really don't want to exercise self control. What's more...... Men have been so programmed to be the hunter/aggressor in relationships that sometimes you forget the ultimate seduction. Guys....... Great relationships, even just great sex aren't a scorecard. They're a luscious lovely dance where each exercises that power of slow seduction. Turn the tables and try to think like a woman for a change. Women in seduction mode love the power they hold. Teasing isn't necessarily a bad thing so long as you intend to pay off eventually. Since it's confusing the hell out of you, guess who's holding the power, hmmmm? Try turning the tables on her as well as yourself and see what happens. Worst case is nothhing happens and you'll have discovered she wasn't worth your time in the first place because would you really want to give up your valuable time to someone who can't handle the heat? Best case? She hits boiling point and some night you find you're the one who got taken.

'Rani

I like the idea of turning the tables. That's smart. I can see what you are saying... by not letting me get a mental handle on the situation she is keeping me engaged and holding the power.

If she won't have your babies, I totally will. You are a champion.

Just as long as you aren't going to bust out with rape sex fantasies on the first date... we might have a bromance blossoming lol

Sounds like you got a wild one but if shes putting out that easily (or not) idk about that

My feelings are similar... not so much about putting out easy, but going for this fantasy right away.

Eww! Sex is icky!

Seriously though, I believe in waiting till marriage to have sex, maybe you should try that?

I'm a heathen dude.

[lowspeedchase]

It depends on the locality. Some women still employ the no means yes imperative, but I think its a dangerous message to be sent...unless you realize what's obvious which is the rules for all women change, based on the woman, then its fine. Its nice when somebody says women are all the same, but thats not the case. I've shtupped a few freaks. No means yes, yes means yes, no means no, no means maybe. Yes still means yes, but you have to find out what no means. She's telling you the ground rules, observe them...

To answer the question, after the inception of formal sexual relations, the rules often become more lax. I dated one woman who the first time we were initiating sexual intercourse, there was a period of an hour where she raised feeble points as to why we shouldn't have sex, which I dismissed and after that we had no "activation energy" to initiate sex. Everything meant yes. Dinner meant yes, a quickie meant yes, a visit by her condo at noontime meant yes, lunch meant yes, seeing her in class meant yes...later. There was that period where she was a little unsure, but after the actual sex, the "resistance" disappeared. Each woman is different. Listen to them, understand what they're wanting and treat them with respect, whether you're holding hands in a movie, or pissing in their mouth. Some women like sex on the D.L. and don;t like public affection. That may not change, the only way to find out what the rules are after you have sex with her is to have sex with her. As I commented on my Forum, there are certain signs that if she or you are initiating, it should be without contradiction. If she wants to bunk in your sleeping bag, that means sex is imminent. If she doesn't want to have sex, she shouldn't be initiating that context of contact. Some women might be saying "Thats stupid", but its a reasonable conclusion, some women want a free pass to do whatever they want with men, without men be able to understand their context, and thats silly. There need to be some activities that mean sex, some that mean no sex. If you don't want confusion, observe the social rules. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, she shouldn't be wrestling with you. 9 times out of 10, she is going to lose...for a reason.

I don't think its fair to preach what other people should be doing according to our rules...I'm referring to one of the women responding to this thread. Saying that there should be one course of action or rule that trumps all lifestyles is just demeaning to men and women exploring sexuality together.

Go get her, tiger...

Thanks Eric... awesome post and great read. I couldn't agree more with you man.

well...with the stuff i've seen/learned...when i girl says no, even jokingly...you hit the brakes. get clarification first and then do whatever.

and you girls that like to play minds games....STOP THAT SHIT!!! ITS STUPID!

They can't help it. Usually a perceived mind game is a girl doing her normal thing and it messing with your head.

well...with the stuff i've seen/learned...when i girl says no, even jokingly...you hit the brakes. get clarification first and then do whatever.

Right on. Unfortunately, a lot of women just can't see this from a man's point of view. She's naive not to consider that a man might not enjoy playing the aggressor all the time.

Hey, Lowspeed, think she'd trade roles with you some time and show you what she wants? Then you could get a break from being the "bad man" for a night or two. Heck, she might get into it. Mmm, don't forget to tell her your safety word if you try it!

My safety phrase is 'put the genie back in the bottle'

Now girls don't get offended with what I say I believe all woman should be respected but this girl sounds like a real freak.

I think you should have sex with her see how it goes and if it's really weird then you should just leave her alone man. Some chicks are just weird like that and like to be completely DOMINATED. Some guys like dominating and well if your not into that shit then it isn't gonna really help you out in the sack.

Sex is a big part of a relationship i dont care what anyone says.

Agreed. Sexuality and the sharing of it is massive in a real relationship... and I also agree about doing it and bailing if it's weird. I'll try anything once... well, anything with (a) chick(s).

Now girls don't get offended with what I say I believe all woman should be respected but this girl sounds like a real freak.

She's no freak, it's just a fetish. She's not asking to be seriously harmed, it's just the idea of it that tweaks her waddles. But if both partners can't get into it, then....

It's possible she isn't a freak... but who knows how deep the rabbit hole goes? Not me, not yet at least...

Coming from a guy's point of view, here are my 2 cents.

Personally I enjoy being a dominate person in the bedroom, even into the whole S&M thing, it's a great sexual lifestyle even if you don't carry it over into your normal life like some people do.There are some levels I'm not comfortable taking things to because honestly there are weird fetishes out there and I don't want to end up perm. hurting someone. (that's the caring part)

(now you guys know a little bit more about me, and if you're curious ask questions)

Most girls want a guy to be dominate/aggressive, there are just different levels of it. From playfully pushing them down on the bed and taking the lead to bondage etc. It's just a personal preference.

A safeword is a great idea, but if she's unable to talk, without getting too lewd, as a result of gags or such things then a signal is great as well, tapping 3 times firmly etc. (the password I tell girls to use is pancakes, sounds weird, but who the fuck says pancakes during sex normally? lol)
- as a result anytime you're involved in a sexual situation like this, you can let yourself be primal and give into animal instincts but you also need to retain enough rationality to understand when no means no.

Believe it or not she is seeking a type of affection, not necessarily physical though. She is wanting to trust you to the extent to give you complete reign in the bedroom, that kind of trust and control is a huge thing to give away and is a big connection for her, as a result she feels that you'll have a stronger emotional and mental connection. Something any healthy sexual relationship needs, again it's just a diff. way to go about it.

My advice is to talk to her about it, figure out both your "hard limits" (which means will absolutely not do) and "soft limits" (which means something one of you hasn't done but would be open to being introduced to). Unless both of you are on the same level of experience in any area it's always wise to take it slow and work your way into it. (on the flip side if you both are already comfortable with everything you can jump in as fast or as slow as you want)

my entire theory in the bedroom is that it's not fun unless both of you are enjoying it. So no matter what I might like or have experience in I never go past what the other person is comfortable with (and that should work both ways)

Like any new experience in life, it's not something to shy away from, you should explore it as far as you want (can) to, you never know what you might discover about yourself.


Hope this helped some, if not I'll do my best to answer any questions.

Thanks for sharing man... it's a lifestyle I have never been exposed to, so reading about it has helped open my eyes a bit. No way am I going to shy away from it... it's true, what if we get into it and I enjoy the position?

I have to say.. Yum on this one... There is something to be said about that type of sexual encounter.. But to be fair, I don't know about a first time. I've had my share of resistive sex, but NEVER on the first go. That's normally something you do later after you get alittle more comfy. I mean shit.. Who goes out for a pseudo rape fantasy the first time out? Don't get me wrong, there is something to be said about someone wanting you bad enough to ignore the no (in a role play sense), but like I said. This is something you do, say the 10th time in..

Maybe its me getting more cautious in my old age, but the last thing you want to do is assume anything. Sit her down. Talk to her. Tell her, you're down with this game, but obviously you want to spell it all out, so you don't get mixed messages. And if she's not ok with talking this all out, then drop her like a bad habit. She's obviously got baggage and agendas you DON'T want. The last thing you need if for you to ignore the no's, take her, then wake up with cops at the door for the rape you committed last night... If she is in to you, you'd think she'd at least respect you enough to talk about it all first, before you take the plunge..

Oh, and Eric.. I'm quoting that for the truth there!!! "treat them with respect, whether you're holding hands in a movie, or pissing in their mouth." LOL

Thank you. Thank you. I think you really got it there. What's really making me hesitant is how fast (first time?) she sprung this fantasy on me. In all the relationships I've been in, I've found out about stuff like this once we had some trust... the girl would open up to me, and share this thing she was into. Then we would do it, and be that much closer for both participating.

The right away thing sends a warning into my cerebellum.

[Vampy6997]

So long as prior to, she's saying she'll be into it, then yes. You need her consent every time.

and/or

a safe word for when she's not into it. Let it be known that that safe word means "N.O." and everything else means "yes"...

Could be something randomly silly like "green jello." There will be days she says no and means it, but without a safeword, you might not know about it. (ie-if you both are fighting, etc. Some girls are into the angry sex, but not all...even if they like that forceful stuff).

So...my final word on this is...explain when you both are in a neutral situation where you're not going to get all hot n heavy...that you'd prefer to know you have her consent each and every time, however want to play into this fetish--so give her the option for the opposite. Give her that "opt out." Give her the option to come up with a safe word/gesture/whine/wink that would work for her. Think creatively, but no matter what, it's to protect her for when she's uncomfortable.

Sounds like a hell of a lot of fun, though...regardless.

[lowspeedchase]

So long as prior to, she's saying she'll be into it, then yes. You need her consent every time.

and/or

a safe word for when she's not into it. Let it be known that that safe word means "N.O." and everything else means "yes"...

Could be something randomly silly like "green jello." There will be days she says no and means it, but without a safeword, you might not know about it. (ie-if you both are fighting, etc. Some girls are into the angry sex, but not all...even if they like that forceful stuff).

So...my final word on this is...explain when you both are in a neutral situation where you're not going to get all hot n heavy...that you'd prefer to know you have her consent each and every time, however want to play into this fetish--so give her the option for the opposite. Give her that "opt out." Give her the option to come up with a safe word/gesture/whine/wink that would work for her. Think creatively, but no matter what, it's to protect her for when she's uncomfortable.

Sounds like a hell of a lot of fun, though...regardless.

Well I was with you up until the gesture/whine/wink part... there is typically a lot of that going on during great sex... I'd rather her just yell 'hoochy mama' at me or something, so even if I didn't want to stop the uncontrollable laughing would force me to. I'm 100% with you on making her comfortable though, and I think some relaxed dialog will help that by leaps and bounds.

[tinyj316]

so, if no means yes, does yes mean harder?

all joking aside, I agree with 95% of what's been said so far. Most of the situations I've been in, no means exactly that...no...One time though, after I stopped when she said no, she got all pissed off at me for stopping... I killed "the mood". She left. I didn't sweat it... I'm not into the whole S&M type thing... its some people's cup of tea, and for those who enjoy it, more power to them.

Just keep in mind, you can get into a lot of trouble if she says no and you persist, despite no meaning yes...

[lowspeedchase]

so, if no means yes, does yes mean harder?

all joking aside, I agree with 95% of what's been said so far. Most of the situations I've been in, no means exactly that...no...One time though, after I stopped when she said no, she got all pissed off at me for stopping... I killed "the mood". She left. I didn't sweat it... I'm not into the whole S&M type thing... its some people's cup of tea, and for those who enjoy it, more power to them.

Just keep in mind, you can get into a lot of trouble if she says no and you persist, despite no meaning yes...

Damn right I could get in trouble... that's really one of the main reasons I came to you guys for advice... When she says no, I instinctively stop. This is a new situation for me.

[Sonthert]

At the risk of sounding like a feeb, talking is wasted on some fetishes. It might be a bad idea...how do you even bring it up? Do you want to bring it up? The first couple of run-throughs with sex are a learning process (per partner ) learn from, ahem..."Hands on experience" Just say definitively, before getting down to it "The safety word is green jello" and get to it. If she wants to use the safety word (or you do?) she knows what it is. If she seems off or distracted, then broach the subject and talk about it. Talking about too many issues too often makes for too many problems. Trust me, I haven't had an argument with a girlfriend for over 15 years. I'm a good communicator and responsive to the lady's needs. I've even successfully navigated women who's tastes changed from day to day. That is, she really wants a spanking on day 1, by day 3, she doesn't want anything resembling spanking. By day 5, she wants to be spanked again...badly. Its gravy, baby. If you find out how to communicate effectively with women, you can do it without saying a word...

[Bulldog_916]

I say steer clear. The girl has baggage, I can tell already. Just by the little things you're telling, I can tell there's something amiss. It may seem presumptuous. But you're asking us. I'm telling you from my perspective to stay away.

[ashes87]

This does seem very dangerous because for me, no has always meant no, and yes has always been yes, no freaking reversal of the words.

With how your describing when the two of you get intimate, it almost sounds like a rape fantasy, because she is saying no but still wants you to keep going.

Some chicks get off to that type of thing, but I am not one of them, too much in my past to drag up in here, but trust me on this, be careful and create a safe word because if you dont, she could burn you badly, and you dont need that to happen to you.

[Sonthert]

Thats true, thats true. Legal ramifications. I've known some very happy, emotionally healthy freaks, so I wouldn't presume that it is the case...as long as she's on top....

[joytron]

I would think about you want instead of figuring out what her deal is. Are you comfortable being in a relationship where you always are in control? How do you know when she isnt in the mood or when she is? Are you cool with being part of a controlling relationship?

Personally, really quickly i would get tired of always making the first move, and even going beyond that forcing what i want. If you guys are already having sexual problems before anything has even started, I dont even know what it will be like when you are more intimate. While i think her fetish isnt an issue if you are into that sort of thing, its a real problem when you arent.

[Rani]

I think what's causing the caution from most of us is the fact that this is someone new and of relatively short acquaintance. You don't know her baggage, intentions, even basic emotional stability. If it was a girlfriend you'd known a while, or even a friend who decided to add benefits you'd probably be getting different advice, but with someone new you can't discount that there's a risk. Doesn't mean you won't decide at an adult to take that risk, but acknowledge and assess it before you take it. Kinky is always good in my opinion. Letting yourself be at the mercy of someone whose intentions you can't account for, not so much unless you don't mind that you might be ending up front page news.

'Ranni

[lowspeedchase]

At the risk of sounding like a feeb, talking is wasted on some fetishes. It might be a bad idea...how do you even bring it up? Do you want to bring it up? The first couple of run-throughs with sex are a learning process (per partner ) learn from, ahem..."Hands on experience" Just say definitively, before getting down to it "The safety word is green jello" and get to it. If she wants to use the safety word (or you do?) she knows what it is. If she seems off or distracted, then broach the subject and talk about it. Talking about too many issues too often makes for too many problems. Trust me, I haven't had an argument with a girlfriend for over 15 years. I'm a good communicator and responsive to the lady's needs. I've even successfully navigated women who's tastes changed from day to day. That is, she really wants a spanking on day 1, by day 3, she doesn't want anything resembling spanking. By day 5, she wants to be spanked again...badly. Its gravy, baby. If you find out how to communicate effectively with women, you can do it without saying a word...

I'm with you brother. But the tastes changing from day to day must have been really rough - you're a better man than me.

I say steer clear. The girl has baggage, I can tell already. Just by the little things you're telling, I can tell there's something amiss. It may seem presumptuous. But you're asking us. I'm telling you from my perspective to stay away.

I agree with you. I've date quite a few girls who had some varying issues... and I have gotten pretty good at detecting when a girl has tells. I'm debating if these seem like deep seeded problems or stuff that can be attributed to nerves and whatnot.

This does seem very dangerous because for me, no has always meant no, and yes has always been yes, no freaking reversal of the words.

With how your describing when the two of you get intimate, it almost sounds like a rape fantasy, because she is saying no but still wants you to keep going.

Some chicks get off to that type of thing, but I am not one of them, too much in my past to drag up in here, but trust me on this, be careful and create a safe word because if you dont, she could burn you badly, and you dont need that to happen to you.

Wow yah. I def don't need that.

I would think about you want instead of figuring out what her deal is. Are you comfortable being in a relationship where you always are in control? How do you know when she isnt in the mood or when she is? Are you cool with being part of a controlling relationship?

Personally, really quickly i would get tired of always making the first move, and even going beyond that forcing what i want. If you guys are already having sexual problems before anything has even started, I dont even know what it will be like when you are more intimate. While i think her fetish isnt an issue if you are into that sort of thing, its a real problem when you arent.

Honestly no. My favorite relationships have always been give and take. Maybe not 50/50... but there was always active engagement by both of us. Makes for, in my opinion, great sexual relationships.

I think what's causing the caution from most of us is the fact that this is someone new and of relatively short acquaintance. You don't know her baggage, intentions, even basic emotional stability. If it was a girlfriend you'd known a while, or even a friend who decided to add benefits you'd probably be getting different advice, but with someone new you can't discount that there's a risk. Doesn't mean you won't decide at an adult to take that risk, but acknowledge and assess it before you take it. Kinky is always good in my opinion. Letting yourself be at the mercy of someone whose intentions you can't account for, not so much unless you don't mind that you might be ending up front page news.

'Ranni

Exactly. Furthermore, the fact that she brought this stuff up when we are first getting intimate, rather than later as you suggested, raises flags. Weighing my options is difficult... not just because I'm a guy and I want to get laid, although that def plays a part, but more so because I really do enjoy hanging out with her. She is attractive and smart... and her 'conquer me' thing just triggers this 'save me' reflex I have... always trying to rescue broken girls.

[Sonthert]

Sex is just another road to intimacy. Of all the women I've been platonic friends with, I can't remember any off the top of my head. I can at least remember most of the women I've had sex with. I think its a little early, honestly to be guessing at her being a girlfriend is like. Sexual fantasies or tendencies don't necessarily have any bearing on who she is as a person or what kind of girlfriend she will be. I know one woman, large breasts, pretty face, nice butt, she's pre-med and extremely intelligent, very sweet and supportive, is kind of a take-charge type of woman. Sexually, she likes being tied up and physically abused; she likes having blunt pain inflicted on her. Her personality outside of sex is a dead opposite to her personality during sex (from what I understand from her). I know another woman who doesn't like any sort of demeaning activity, she thinks swallowing is demeaning for instance, but she doesn't see any problem with being urinated on during sex...I don't mean an accidental discharge of a little urine, I mean being put in a bathtub and hosed down with yellow stuff. Third example, skinny little girl, looks almost like a boy, very quiet, tatted sleeves, lots of piercings...shes does anal porn. There are counter examples, sweet girl, sweet lover, etc.

[fcbayern]

Sex is just another road to intimacy. Of all the women I've been platonic friends with, I can't remember any off the top of my head. I can at least remember most of the women I've had sex with. I think its a little early, honestly to be guessing at her being a girlfriend is like. Sexual fantasies or tendencies don't necessarily have any bearing on who she is as a person or what kind of girlfriend she will be. I know one woman, large breasts, pretty face, nice butt, she's pre-med and extremely intelligent, very sweet and supportive, is kind of a take-charge type of woman. Sexually, she likes being tied up and physically abused; she likes having blunt pain inflicted on her. Her personality outside of sex is a dead opposite to her personality during sex (from what I understand from her). I know another woman who doesn't like any sort of demeaning activity, she thinks swallowing is demeaning for instance, but she doesn't see any problem with being urinated on during sex...I don't mean an accidental discharge of a little urine, I mean being put in a bathtub and hosed down with yellow stuff. Third example, skinny little girl, looks almost like a boy, very quiet, tatted sleeves, lots of piercings...shes does anal porn. There are counter examples, sweet girl, sweet lover, etc.

DAMN I gotta hang out with Eric... Sounds like he knows some hot ass chics.

[Barnaby]

Sex is just another road to intimacy. Of all the women I've been platonic friends with, I can't remember any off the top of my head. I can at least remember most of the women I've had sex with. I think its a little early, honestly to be guessing at her being a girlfriend is like. Sexual fantasies or tendencies don't necessarily have any bearing on who she is as a person or what kind of girlfriend she will be. I know one woman, large breasts, pretty face, nice butt, she's pre-med and extremely intelligent, very sweet and supportive, is kind of a take-charge type of woman. Sexually, she likes being tied up and physically abused; she likes having blunt pain inflicted on her. Her personality outside of sex is a dead opposite to her personality during sex (from what I understand from her). I know another woman who doesn't like any sort of demeaning activity, she thinks swallowing is demeaning for instance, but she doesn't see any problem with being urinated on during sex...I don't mean an accidental discharge of a little urine, I mean being put in a bathtub and hosed down with yellow stuff. Third example, skinny little girl, looks almost like a boy, very quiet, tatted sleeves, lots of piercings...shes does anal porn. There are counter examples, sweet girl, sweet lover, etc.

I think you and I should go bowling.. I'll hit you up whenever I make it out to San Diego to visit my sister..

[FamiliarJoe]

Hey guys/girls...

So I met a new chick that lives in my building a few weeks ago... super attractive, great body, dark hair (awesome) - she works as an HR manager for a big company, but before that was a college instructor at a local university.

She is 28, seemed way level headed, so naturally I was attracted to her. Invited her over for the first time like 3 weeks ago. We smoke hookah, she loved it (never tried it before) and smoked like a CHAMP even through the f-line bowl I had pre-packed (although she admitted it was due to NHT experience)

Well, since then she has been over my place like every-other day... everytime she would come over I would get a little further with her, sexually. The first and second time it was a kiss hello/goodbye on the cheek - and actually the second time was a hug. Third time we made-out at the door as I was saying goodbye... and it continued like this for 2 weeks...

Now fast-forward to present day... we have very intense make-out sessions... she gets aroused when I take control, push her against the wall, pin her hands, etc. It kills me though because it gets so intense, but she stops me when I start taking off her clothes. She confessed that it's been a while since she has had sex, so I started to take it lighter with the pushing for it.

Last night I took her to an art gallery opening in South Beach... we had a blast: wine, dinner, etc... but she wouldn't let me hold her hand... she has weird quirks like that that really turn me off.

When we got home I lied down on the couch and she mounted me... so naturally, after quite a bit of foreplay, I went to start taking off her clothes... but she pulled away... I was really frustrated so I just started to push her off me...

She said "haven't you heard the expression 'no means yes?'" ...

Suddenly it all made sense, the aggressive kissing, the pinning her body, the holding her in my arms when we would kiss and not letting her go... she wants to be taken, but wants to resist...

To be honest, this kinda weirds me out... I mean, I have had role plays and angry sex with girls in the past, but never a "I need this to feel forced to be aroused" type girl.


Has anyone had any similar experiences with girls like this? Girls, can you chime in? Do you think that she'll be more affectionate after we become intimate?

I love good sex, but I am really just looking for a solid relationship right now - the idea of having rough sex with her but feeling less and less attracted to her doesn't seem to appetizing (especially since we live 40 feet from each other).

Thanks all!

The few experiences ive had with girls like that, has been great. You gotta be careful though. Some women are crazy (not saying this is the case ) and will hold it against you and shout the R word.

Im sure this already crossed your mind, I just had to say it. Like someone said before me. Set the right rules with her and have some fun!

[ilikemyusername]

[quote name='Sonthert' post='380120' date='Jun 17 2009, 10:22 PM'] she thinks swallowing is demeaning for instance, but she doesn't see any problem with being urinated on during sex...I don't mean an accidental discharge of a little urine, I mean being put in a bathtub and hosed down with yellow stuff. quote]


how does that work?

[indian_villager]

This sounds like something that could turn into a rape case. Do you watch How I Met Your Mother? If so.....Naked Man!

[FamiliarJoe]

This sounds like something that could turn into a rape case. Do you watch How I Met Your Mother? If so.....Naked Man!

I still haven't tried this, but I plan on it. I love that show.