TizaNabi Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I happen to know where Michael Jackson is and he is so alive! After "little boy problems" you know that MJ became Muslim. When Bin Laden and the Ayatullahs found that he wasn't praying 5 or 4 or even once a day they made him an offer he couldn't refuse. He called up Elizabeth Taylor who had converted to Judaism (though not practicing) when she married Eddie Fisher and never went back through 6 husbands (who's counting).She advised him to call Uri Geller the Israeli psychic who was a warm mutual friend of them both. Uri had helped them many times in the past by getting various inserted long objects that were wedged in crevises of their bodies out . Uri Geller said to Michael: "I have just the thing for you and it will fit you like a song.Fake your death, that way the Mahad'is will be off your tail, you'll be safe to live anywhere in the world. Its simple. You wear black suits, they wear black suits. You wear a Borsalino fedora hat and they wear a fedora Borsalino. MJ : "You want me to join the Italian Mafia?, I'm circumsized now, don'teat pork and I hate physical violence". Uri Geller : "No, its simpler" You go into hiding as an ultra-orthodox religous Jew.They dress in black suits, black Borsolino hats,love to dance on Sabbath, the many weddings, Bar Mitzvas and circumsicions. They ONLY dance with other men too. Perfect!!" MJ: "So how do I join and what about being stuck in a home made Jewish ghetto in Brooklyn ?" URi Geller : "I have just the thing !!! Change your name to Mikhail Jacksonov,join Chabad Chasid s who have "Chabad Houses" in every city in the world that sells Coca Cola, they have get-togethers for hours at a time to sing and dance. Besides, they take all major credit cards". Michael Jackson : "Soooo! That's where Elvis has been hiding out!"מיכאל ג"אקסון חי וקיים -לומד בישיבה P.S. Can't claim to be Muslim though most of my neighbors are and I identify with them very much, but am of the second option; black hat, black suit and uncut beard so nothing but a little fun intended. {photos below} The first photo my son is dancing with his Yeshiva friends. Second to the last photo is our Michael Jackson who was realized to be a soulful singer and dances like a real chasid "Avraham Fried"! He has concerts all over theworld, wild dancing, many happy songs and some from the heart. He has been singing in Hebrew, English,Yiddish and Russian since around age 6 but our Spiritual Leader, the Rebbe only gave him permission to record at age 21.No religous boy,girl,woman or man doesn't know his recordings of the last 29 years. In that, he has "worked" on his thought, speach and deeds as we are supposed to, and I've seen him often in a very large stadium filled for his concerts or in a room with a large crowd or small at our gatherings. He is a very humble person.(And he doesn't wear gloves!!!!!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mushrat Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 heh, thanks i needed that. Been a long 2 weeks. If anyoen is offended don't bother to report this thread, I'm going to leave it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Not gonna lie, I laughed. I'm kind of upset that no one is giving Farrah Fawcett isn't getting the respect she needs. I feel bad for her, I never let her have sex with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. E Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 hahaha that is soo wrong but way too funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizaNabi Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 QUOTE (mushrat @ Jun 26 2009, 06:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>heh, thanks i needed that. Been a long 2 weeks. If anyoen is offended don't bother to report this thread, I'm going to leave it up. Everything in the second section is true, though . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSU Smoker Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 haha thats awesome...just plain awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColibriDon Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I enjoyed that. Thanks. haha He was a musical legend but humor is humor, and really, the way he acted, people are always poking fun at him. Good post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikemyusername Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 QUOTE (FSUReligionMan @ Jun 26 2009, 02:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>Not gonna lie, I laughed. I'm kind of upset that no one is giving Farrah Fawcett isn't getting the respect she needs. I feel bad for her, I never let her have sex with me.same with me and Ed Mcmann... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Can-O-War Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 What happened to tupac? im guessing he joined a gypsy caravan and is currently singing his way through Europe by horse drawn carriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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