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stupid joke


shimshamsam

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ok, heres a good joke.An Englishman, a frenchman, and an irishman walk into a bar, they all order the same drink. three flies fly into their drinks, one in each. the englishman pushes the drink away refusing to drink it, the frenchmen puls the fly out and drinks his drink anyway, the irishmen pulls the fly out and starts squeezing it over the cup screaming "SPIT IT OUT YOU LITTLE BASTERD SPIT IT OUT!!!!!"
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A priest is receiving confession, and a rabbi joins him. A woman comes
up to the priest and says "Father I have comitted adultery". The priest
asks "how many times?". The woman says three. The priest says "OK I’ll
tell you what. You donate $20 and say 12 Hail May and you are
forgiven".
After this the priest has to go somewhere and he tells the rabbi "You stay and
confess the rest of these people, after all it is the same God.
Just be sure and get the money". So the rabbi is sitting there and
another woman comes up and says "Father I have comitted adultery". The
rabbi asks "how many times?", and the woman says once. Now he is
stumped and he asks her again "are you sure it was’nt three times". The
woman is offended and says in an indignant tone "No father, it was just
once". So the rabbi says "OK I will tell you what. You donate $20 and
say 12 Hail May and the church will owe you two f**ks".
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  • 1 month later...
heres a few to help out this horrible thread


FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE



1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to

time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to

you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be

with you.

5. It's extremely important that these four women don't know each other.


a man walked into a pharmacy and asked for some condoms with insecticide. "i think you mean spermicide," said the cashier.

"no," he said, "i need condoms with insecticide. my wife has a bug up her ass, and i'm going in after it."

our unabashed dictionary defines socaial security sex as getting a little every month but not enough to live on.

(no hard feelings to anyone if they are french)
AP report today that the French Government announced it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide."

The only two higher terror levels in France are "surrender" and

"collaborate."

This alert was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed one of

their white flag factories, disabling the French military.
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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small
tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is
that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot
tell.



Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.



The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"



The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best
piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."



 
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A man and his wife are seing a therapist for marriage counceling.Man: She complains all the time about the most stupid stuff..Woman: He's such a jerk and doesn't do anything to help around the house.Therapist: *grabs the woman and f**ks the sh*t outa here right there*Woman: That is just what I needed!Therapist: *says to man* That is what your wife needs 2 times a week.Man: I can bring her in monday, and thursday, but I golf tuesday, wednesday and friday.
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