Saying Goodbye

[hookahthis]

Tomorrow morning i have to say goodbye to true angel. My grandma was a beautiful woman inside and out and i consider myself lucky to know her little alone be related to her. i don't know how to say goodbye. death doesn't scare me really but for some reason i can never bring myself to look in a casket. is it selfish to want to remember someone the way you do before they pass? i know we all have different beliefs on what happens after death and i'm not looking for simpathy i just wanted to start this thread for people like me who have lost someone and might need to talk about it to help with the grief... i'm sure there are people on this forum who have lost parents, siblings, grandparents, children, husbands, and wives. and i understand how you feel and i have nothing but love for you. life is to short to have hate in or hearts. and i learned this from this angel. she loved everyone and always had a smile on her face. god bless untill we meet again.

[mushrat]

My Bubbie (grandmother) died of lung cancer last month. It was hard seeing her near the end. I prefer to remember the good times and not the sick old woman I saw.

That being said, my personal feelings on death are pretty messed up sometimes, having been an archaeologist, but thats another story.

Sorry for your loss and as I said, remember the fun times.

[Chreees]

I agree with Mush... Remember the good times. Atleast you still get to see her before she passes... I was refused this option by my spiteful mother when my grandmother was in the hospital. Not a day passes I don't think about how I didn't get to see my grandmother one last time... And this has inevitably worsened my relationship with my mother. So be glad you get to say goodbye, and then mourn the loss and remember the person as they were.

[A13lackFish]

Its better not to say goodbye, just remember her as she was, embrace her passing rather then mourning it.
I lost my grandma at age 94 a few years back, and it was quite the blow as we always saw one another, but in the end it was better for me not to get upset about it but rather enjoy all the memories we had. If she lived a full life, then in the end there is nothing to be upset about, and im sure she wouldn't prefer you to be upset either.

[r1v3th3ad]

I agree with what is said above, always remember the good times...I remember my grandmother purposely hitting the balloon in my dad's face because she knew he would get pissed and not say a word...she would laugh so hard about it and plot it out before my dad came over(we used to hit a balloon back and forth across the room for fun)

I don't know how you feel spiritually, but I have a belief that works with multiple paths. Don't think of it as goodbye, think of it as I'll see you later. That goes to the afterlife or reincarnation. Souls that are as intertwined as that, are bound to meet again in the next life, whether its Heaven, or a new life as another person.
When my grandmother passed, I said "see ya around gram," after I played taps at the funeral.

[hookahthis]

thanks for the advice guys i did end up saying good bye and i'm pretty happy i did i will still remeber my grandmas smile more than her funeral. time heals all wounds. i'm sorry to here about your losses as well.

[thatonethere]

I've been there as well. I'm 2000 miles away from my family and when I found out my grandma died 4 years ago, I had to drop everything and drive back home. I didn't get to take the time to grieve properly and it took me all of 6 months to deal with the death, and seeing my family again. I understand that people pass away, but it was all of the circumstances surrounding the death that ate me alive. Just make sure you take the time to heal completely. You wouldn't be doing yourself any favours if you don't. Trust me.

The next time I go back home, I'll drop some flowers by her headstone, talk to her for a while, catch up, etc. Edited February 24, 2010 by thatonethere