Sapphire Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I LMAO when I read this and thought I should share the joy. [img]http://www.hookahforum.com/public/style_emoticons/default/rofl2.gif[/img] Found on THE WEST VIRGINIA SURF REPORT. Random wierd reading. [url="http://thewvsr.com/"]http://thewvsr.com/[/url] [b][color="#808080"][font="Arial"][size="6"]Alli [/size][/font][/color][font="Arial"][size="6"][color="#000080"]Side Effects[/color][/size][/font][font="Arial"][size="6"][color="#808080"] In Layman's Terms [/color][/size][/font][/b][font="Arial"][size="5"]by Jeff Kay[/size][/font] <P class=MsoNormal style="mso-pagination: none; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><FONT face=Verdana size=2><SPAN style="mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana">[img]http://thewvsr.com/allilogo.jpg[/img]Alli is a new over-the-counter weight-loss pill which, predictably enough, has proven to be a massive best-seller from the moment it became available. The drug, manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline, reportedly works by blocking the absorption of excess fats by the body. And folks are waddling, not walking, to their local drug stores for a chance to start on the Alli "program." As is the case with most drugs, Alli comes with a risk of certain side effects. Or, as they're known on the company website, [i]treatment effects[/i]. A person is reportedly limited to 15 grams of fat per meal, and if they go over (or even if they don't), there's a significant chance they'll find themselves out behind a shopping center somewhere, crying and clutching a wad of horrifyingly soiled undergarments, searching for a place to ditch it. As best as I can tell, anyway... Since a lot of this stuff is couched in language that is technically truthful, but very carefully worded, I've taken it upon myself to go through the list of side (treatment) effects and warnings, and translate it all into layman's terms. I'm no scientist or doctor, and don't pretend to have any special knowledge. I'm just a person who's fairly good with words and reading between the lines... The highlighted phrases below are direct quotes from the Alli website, with my translations in between. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cp44 Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 lol so its a laxative, i hate explosion poos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 OH CRAP !!!! ( Literaly ) The rest of it did not post right. Here is the rest of it : [url="http://thewvsr.com/alli.htm"]http://thewvsr.com/alli.htm[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NitetimeReign Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Sounds like a different version of the xenical fat blocker to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 [font="Arial Black"]This was my favorite ![/font] [size="2"][b]"Start trimming fat from your diet now, even before you begin taking alli. Then pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over [/b]Blowing liquid feces down a row of bridesmaids, for instance, could be viewed negatively in certain circles. Further, an unexpected bout of the power-squirts while riding “The Bullet” at the county fair might not ingratiate you with your friends. Or anyone on the fairway. Or the folks in the parking lot walking to their cars."[/size] [b] [/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agunn1231 Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 both Hallie and I find this Fucking Hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryno Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 [quote name='Serrated Sapphire' date='15 July 2010 - 01:54 PM' timestamp='1279216480' post='475207'] [font="Arial Black"]This was my favorite ![/font] [size="2"][b]"Start trimming fat from your diet now, even before you begin taking alli. Then pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over [/b]Blowing liquid feces down a row of bridesmaids, for instance, could be viewed negatively in certain circles. Further, an unexpected bout of the power-squirts while riding "The Bullet" at the county fair might not ingratiate you with your friends. Or anyone on the fairway. Or the folks in the parking lot walking to their cars."[/size] [b] [/b] [/quote] This is the one that still has me lol'ing at work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 [font="Comic Sans MS"][size="3"]I like this one too :[/size][/font] [font="Verdana"][size="2"][b]The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects. [/b]Bowel changes. Notice how they phrase that? It means stuff will be happening the likes of which you could never have imagined. It’ll be like a daily Dean Koontz novel inside your underwear.[/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porksandwich9113 Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashes87 Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 OMG!!! Thats hilarious but disgusting all at the same time. i could not stop laughing as I was reading that!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatonethere Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Roflmao @ Dean Koontz reference. Yes, this is very nasty, and using this "suppliment " could have lasting affects on relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted July 19, 2010 Author Share Posted July 19, 2010 I know. You can read it over and over and laugh every time. Having this information can be used to our advantage. Perhaps if you have a certian someone who needs to be taught a lesson?[img]http://www.hookahforum.com/public/style_emoticons/default/girl_devil.gif[/img] A reccomendation would be in order.... lol ! Perhaps the person who steals your lunch all the time at work..... or that really skinny brat that always says they are too fat and want to go on a diet but they look like a rail ..... Or that person who copys EVERYTHING you do to be like you.... It Would make for some good entertainment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatonethere Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 [quote name='Serrated Sapphire' date='19 July 2010 - 10:49 AM' timestamp='1279561776' post='475590'] I know. You can read it over and over and laugh every time. Having this information can be used to our advantage. Perhaps if you have a certian someone who needs to be taught a lesson?[img]http://www.hookahforum.com/public/style_emoticons/default/girl_devil.gif[/img] A reccomendation would be in order.... lol ! [b]Perhaps the person who steals your lunch all the time at work..... or that really skinny brat that always says they are too fat and want to go on a diet but they look like a rail .....[/b] Or that person who copys EVERYTHING you do to be like you.... It Would make for some good entertainment. [/quote] This is perfect!....muuuuhaaaaahaaaa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorlyfish Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Reminds me of Olestra -- "anal leakage" anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NitetimeReign Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 (edited) [quote name='jorlyfish' date='24 July 2010 - 11:18 AM' timestamp='1279984699' post='476149'] Reminds me of Olestra -- "anal leakage" anyone? [/quote] Exactly...LOL What I was basically saying when I said reminds me of Xenical. HAHA Comedians used to make fun of that all the time. I keep forgetting how young in age ppl are on this forum sometimes..lol But Saph your old enough you should remember this stuff? Edited July 24, 2010 by NitetimeReign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Share Posted July 26, 2010 [quote name='NitetimeReign' date='24 July 2010 - 03:15 PM' timestamp='1279998956' post='476161'] [quote name='jorlyfish' date='24 July 2010 - 11:18 AM' timestamp='1279984699' post='476149'] Reminds me of Olestra -- "anal leakage" anyone? [/quote] Exactly...LOL What I was basically saying when I said reminds me of Xenical. HAHA Comedians used to make fun of that all the time. I keep forgetting how young in age ppl are on this forum sometimes..lol But Saph your old enough you should remember this stuff? [/quote] Lol... Vague but yea. Man I hate being 30. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venger Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 [quote name='Serrated Sapphire' date='26 July 2010 - 09:20 AM' timestamp='1280150423' post='476368'] [quote name='NitetimeReign' date='24 July 2010 - 03:15 PM' timestamp='1279998956' post='476161'] [quote name='jorlyfish' date='24 July 2010 - 11:18 AM' timestamp='1279984699' post='476149'] Reminds me of Olestra -- "anal leakage" anyone? [/quote] Exactly...LOL What I was basically saying when I said reminds me of Xenical. HAHA Comedians used to make fun of that all the time. I keep forgetting how young in age ppl are on this forum sometimes..lol But Saph your old enough you should remember this stuff? [/quote] Lol... Vague but yea. Man I hate being 30. [/quote] Sweetie please,try being 46. I guess hookah levels the playing field. Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted August 3, 2010 Author Share Posted August 3, 2010 So this lady at work has been out "sick " for a week. Well today she came back and I heard her in the hall at lunch talking about this awesome new diet supplement she is taking.... HAHAHA ! it was Alli ! And she was trying to get her friends to go on it too ! I couldnt help but laugh out loud in my little office. I guess we know why she was out "sick" for a week ![img]http://www.hookahforum.com/public/style_emoticons/default/lol.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatonethere Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 I'm sorry, but you'd think dealing with oily sharts would deter someone from using that product. The things some people do to lose weight....[img]http://www.hookahforum.com/public/style_emoticons/default/facepalm.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryno Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 [quote name='Sapphire' date='03 August 2010 - 04:47 PM' timestamp='1280868447' post='477501'] So this lady at work has been out "sick " for a week. Well today she came back and I heard her in the hall at lunch talking about this awesome new diet supplement she is taking.... HAHAHA ! it was Alli ! And she was trying to get her friends to go on it too ! I couldnt help but laugh out loud in my little office. I guess we know why she was out "sick" for a week ![img]http://www.hookahforum.com/public/style_emoticons/default/lol.gif[/img] [/quote] You should show her that page... just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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