angemonkwj Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 2 blondes and a burnette walk into a bar. The burnette ducked. not the best but i cant think of any right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthHookah Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 not funny? "i never fucked a 10, but one night i fucked five 2's" thats hilarious! pure comedic genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanguineSolitude Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 ill have to take your word for it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilqueToast Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 [quote name='SanguineSolitude']ill have to take your word for it[/quote] It was funnier when George Carlin said it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostofdavid Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I think its from George Carlin, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanguineSolitude Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 well thats because half of carlins jokes only work because of the delivery. if you just read it on a page and its not coming from a dirty old man it loses everything that makes it funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angemonkwj Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 oh so true. carlin is the man!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Mo Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Did you hear about the Irish guy who tried to iron his curtains?? He fell out of the window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Courageous Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 what do you say to a girl with two black eyes? "I already told you twice" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angemonkwj Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 so i saw 2 catholic priests at a resturaunt and didnt know if i should send them a bottle of wine or a cub scout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Courageous Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard! "That must've been scary", said the teacher. "It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the rottweiler ate him!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanguineSolitude Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 ... captain... count the lines. there be more than 1 i think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pieces Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 QUOTE (Captain Courageous)A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard! "That must've been scary", said the teacher. "It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the rottweiler ate him!" Wow... THAT was a great one. A lot of reading for a one-liner though >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angemonkwj Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 QUOTE (SanguineSolitude)... captain... count the lines. there be more than 1 i think. lol....looks like someone failed kindergarden..j/k. that was a funny one captain!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pboyle Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 QUOTE (loanshark)nice shoes, want to fuck!!!!!! what a classic -silence is golden, but duct tape is silver. -I can screw without stripping. [gotta love stage crew] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Courageous Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 lol, I thought the one-liner thing here just ment as in a one liner punch line at the end of a joke. Eh sorry... I am not that into jokes so I guess I dont know the slang of it all. But I know what you mean by one liner now though~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilTank13 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 QUOTE (loanshark)nice shoes, want to fuck!!!!!! HOLY SHIT! Me and my buddies were in Niagra Falls, CA this summer, and we were in this confrontation with these people from Quebec... Way too much alcohol, and a video camera, and drunken people next to us... Long story... Needless to say, I was the only sober person there, and started to talk sense into everyone. We were talking to this one Quebecer, and everything was starting to diffuse. He was telling us how he heard this pickup line, but never to use it... He says, with a drunken slur out the side of his mouth, "Nice shoes, *shrugs-makes clicking noise with mouth-closes one eye* Wanna Fuck?" We all nearly shit our pants we were laughing so hard... That is one of my and my buddies' inside jokes now.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Courageous Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 lol! that sounds totaly funny the way he must have said it being all drunk also... I wish that I could have been there to see that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angemonkwj Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Wanna go back to my place for pizza and sex?......Why not, don't you like pizza? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevehookah Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 How do you circumcise a hillbillie? Kick his sister in the mouth.. -bada bing- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macho555 Posted November 27, 2006 Share Posted November 27, 2006 Lmao, Captains is still the funniest in my head, XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaq19 Posted November 27, 2006 Share Posted November 27, 2006 IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevehookah Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 You are ok for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthHookah Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 another carlin- "next person to say bada boom bada bing is gettin kicked right in the fuckin nuts! 'bada BOOM, motherfucker! wanna try for bada bing?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevehookah Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 One time in band camp... -bada boom bada bing- Could not resist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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