r1v3th3ad Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 So, I woke up earlier than usual today, figured its my birthday and I'll try to be awake for it... Went out back and packed a bowl of passion fruit and cranked some Infected Mushroom. As I'm smoking, my elderly neighbor(who loves me to death) comes up with a platter of cupcakes to wish me a happy bday. She sees me smoking hookah and we start talking about it. I've educated her on it before and had to go through it again. I even showed her the moassal to give her an idea of what it is. Well, she informs me that my next door neighbor(alcoholic, chain smoker who I suspect of being an NHT user) is telling the neighborhood that I smoke NHT out of my hookah and thats what they are for. Boy am I fucked off. Don't need that reputation, especially with my dad being vice president of council. I'm weighing my options and about to talk with my dad who just got home. I'm thinking of writing her a letter to her to retract her statement and that if she doesn't I will tell the neighborhood the truth as to why she is losing her house(spends all of her money on booze and cigs instead of bills) What a lovely birthday...blueballs at four a.m. and now this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r1v3th3ad Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 my dad says to not really worry about it, but its not really his rep.. I said how I could send her a letter explaining it and tell her to retract her statement. He says that if I do that and she continues I could take her to court for defamation. uggg this sucks, I'm non-confrontational because of my panic and anxiety disorders and this has it all flaring. what do you guys think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allstar Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I say let it blow over for your sake. I would be all over her for it, that is just me. Just let it slide, if it gets worse then write the letter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukhookah Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 if your neighbour is a chain smoker, then maybe if you see em around, invite them and go through with the what nots of a hookah. Just like you did with your good neighbour. If she smokes cigs then I'm sure she'll be up for trying shisha. Just my thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcane Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I say go for the lawsuit.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chreees Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Let it go, Pat. Not worth having a heart attack over. Just keep doing yo thang, brotha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epoch Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 You think an alcoholic can damage your reputation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rani Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Give your neighbors some credit. If you see what this person is, then surely they do too. I wouldn't worry about it. If you try and counter every remark that someone makes about you, you're going to spend so much of your precious time in anti-propaganda, that you won't have time for a real life. If someone bring it up, give it a "She's stupid..... Let me show you." And bring another convert into the art and pleasure of hookah. 'Rani Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chreees Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Arcane' timestamp='1294093094' post='493249'] I say go for the lawsuit.... [/quote] Jay posted this right as I made my post, so I didn't see it... Normally, I'd agree with Jay. But I know how stress easily affects your health, Pat. It's just not worth making your health worse. You've already explained hookah to everyone you know, so your neighbors probably know who to believe. Surely your neighbors understand you would've been arrested by now if you were smoking illegal stuff out of your pipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joytron Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Dude you are acting like a drama queen, who cares if some crazy old alcoholic is talking shit? If what she thinks about you causes mental anguish on your part, you might need to rethink your approach to handling situations. I assume you have not spend much time working in retail, but its a great way to learn how to keep insults from affecting you. I think the sue everyone response is exactly what is wrong with America. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r1v3th3ad Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='joytron' timestamp='1294101435' post='493258'] Dude you are acting like a drama queen, who cares if some crazy old alcoholic is talking shit? If what she thinks about you causes mental anguish on your part, you might need to rethink your approach to handling situations. I assume you have not spend much time working in retail, but its a great way to learn how to keep insults from affecting you. I think the sue everyone response is exactly what is wrong with America. [/quote] This is not a sue everyone on me, I wasn't talking sueing, I was talking defamation case. And ya, its a drama queen case for me because I don't want neighborhood gossip turning into costing my dad an election. My actions reflect on him in this borough, thats why I generally avoid trouble(I'm no role model citizen though). I don't need my family named smeared for nothing joytron. valid point made a few times, shes an alchy and what not, so who's to believe her. But the informant was the block's gossip center, so those who heard may buy it...I just hope she says something in my defense now that I explained it. And no, I have never worked retail nor will I ever. About to have my degree, but if I can't use that, I'll just fall back on my decade of painting and carpentry rather than deal with dick customers and have to wipe their asses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mushrat Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 everyone else probably knows that the neighbor is a loser anyways so why worry about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmccoy90 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Western PA is full of idiots, as I'm sure you're aware. I've never been another place where so many people need to be in each others' shit. Don't sweat it. You've got nothing to hide, so just forget everyone else. I know panic and anxiety make these sort of things hard to deal with, but it really isn't worth getting worked up over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magick777 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 My response would be to do nothing, but then I tend to live and let live, and I have neighbours who value that and do likewise. I think if you go out and pick a fight based on some alleged gossip, you are inviting an escalation, and you will not restrain the mouth of an alcoholic by legal means. I would categorically advise against writing any threatening letters giving someone an ultimatum to retract a verbal slander that they are alleged to have made, on pain of your then libelling them to the wider community (yes, we all know what alcoholics are, but would you like to be called upon to back up your allegation that she spends "all" her money on booze and cigs?) Unfortunately, if this woman expressed her ill-informed opinion in a private conversation with your gossipy neighbour, she is not slandering you, and for it to be held to be slander, you would have to be able to demonstrate that there was a significant risk of damage to your reputation and livelihoood caused by your actions. If she rings up and says it on local radio, you might have a case. As it stands, you are threatening to write a letter that seems to have no legal basis, and contains a threat of an actionable libel on your part. Not clever at all. Don't give her anything to publish. And I don't know about Pennsylvania, but in this part of the world, you'd suffer more damage to your reputation by writing a cease-and-desist letter, or getting litigious in response to idle gossip, than you would if you *were* using illegal substances. I don't wish to seem unsympathetic; alcoholics are a pain in the arse, and gossip is never a good thing. You don't deserve this, but, I would abstain from taking any such action. We've had politicians here resort to writing legal letters to constituents who were alleged to have libelled them in local newspapers, and boy did they suffer for it. Treat it with all the attention that it merits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r1v3th3ad Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='magick777' timestamp='1294118575' post='493272'] My response would be to do nothing, but then I tend to live and let live, and I have neighbours who value that and do likewise. I think if you go out and pick a fight based on some alleged gossip, you are inviting an escalation, and you will not restrain the mouth of an alcoholic by legal means. I would categorically advise against writing any threatening letters giving someone an ultimatum to retract a verbal slander that they are alleged to have made, on pain of your then libelling them to the wider community (yes, we all know what alcoholics are, but would you like to be called upon to back up your allegation that she spends "all" her money on booze and cigs?) Unfortunately, if this woman expressed her ill-informed opinion in a private conversation with your gossipy neighbour, she is not slandering you, and for it to be held to be slander, you would have to be able to demonstrate that there was a significant risk of damage to your reputation and livelihoood caused by your actions. If she rings up and says it on local radio, you might have a case. As it stands, you are threatening to write a letter that seems to have no legal basis, and contains a threat of an actionable libel on your part. Not clever at all. Don't give her anything to publish. And I don't know about Pennsylvania, but in this part of the world, you'd suffer more damage to your reputation by writing a cease-and-desist letter, or getting litigious in response to idle gossip, than you would if you *were* using illegal substances. I don't wish to seem unsympathetic; alcoholics are a pain in the arse, and gossip is never a good thing. You don't deserve this, but, I would abstain from taking any such action. We've had politicians here resort to writing legal letters to constituents who were alleged to have libelled them in local newspapers, and boy did they suffer for it. Treat it with all the attention that it merits. [/quote] wow, good answer I did hear it elsewhere, it was just the rumor mill that had me concerned...main concern is my dad's political reputation. I think I'll just send her a nice little letter explaining hookah and to come see me if she has a problem with me and what I do before she starts talking shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noodle Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='r1v3th3ad' timestamp='1294172974' post='493336'] wow, good answer I did hear it elsewhere, it was just the rumor mill that had me concerned...main concern is my dad's political reputation. I think I'll just send her a nice little letter explaining hookah and to come see me if she has a problem with me and what I do before she starts talking shit. [/quote] The nice letter approach seems best. Make sure you clearly explain the common misconception that hookahs are used for NHT, exactly what shisha is, the differences between a hookah and an NH. If she gets belligerant, then something like this may be warranted: "I explained it to you nicely. If I get any heat over this, I'm going to stick you with filing a false police report and harassment." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatonethere Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 [quote name='noodle' timestamp='1294182859' post='493352'] [quote name='r1v3th3ad' timestamp='1294172974' post='493336'] wow, good answer I did hear it elsewhere, it was just the rumor mill that had me concerned...main concern is my dad's political reputation. I think I'll just send her a nice little letter explaining hookah and to come see me if she has a problem with me and what I do before she starts talking shit. [/quote] [b]The nice letter approach seems best. Make sure you clearly explain the common misconception that hookahs are used for NHT, exactly what shisha is, the differences between a hookah and an NH. If she gets belligerant, then something like this may be warranted: "I explained it to you nicely. If I get any heat over this, I'm going to stick you with filing a false police report and harassment." [/b][/quote] This. I've had more than my fair share of issues with my neighbors. If she keeps meddling, and you actually file a police report, make sure you get the case # and keep it on file. That way if it gets serious over there, then you have proof that she had been harassing you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travis Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 [img]http://dudewtf.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/99-problems.jpg[/img] Shrug that shit off. If she's getting under your skin, chances are thats what she set out to do anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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