slartie Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which as the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase- in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Scratch Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Ha! Zis is an ekselent plan, I vil pas it along to ozers who vil also apresiat it. I luk forvard to beng able to hav a unitd universl speking styl for all peple of grater urope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikem Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 This is hilarious. i had tears in my eyes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I'm ressurrecting this because it's awsome, we should all learn to talk like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuie Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 hahahaha... that's funny. Got to pull out the old Indiana Jones movies to practice my accent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no longer welcome Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 wow, thank god i don't have to learn german and get to speak english with a german or some other accent. my favorite is the lack of "th" and replaceing it with "ze" it's not just EU but in the middle east they like to say "happy Birizday" also, many like to replace the p with a b, someone snd me a clip of the egyptian coast gaurd getting a communitican signal "we are sinking! we are sinking" and the Egyptian officer thought for awhile and responded "what are you sinking about?"i love accents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoapplesplease Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I lov zis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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