Ramadan Journal

[Tyler]

So I try this every year and I usually start off doing great then the grind usually gets to me and I give up. But this year I will try again to keep a Ramadan journal so that people who are interested can try to follow along. This first post before Ramadan (Which starts Aug 1st) I will give a very very brief rundown of exactly what it is for those who don't know and are interested in learning.


Ramadan is one part of one of the "5 pillars" of Islam which includes the Shahada, Sawm, Salat, Zakat, and Hajj.

Shahada is the pronouncing of faith
Sawm is ritual fasting
Salat is a type of prayer (another type is known as du'a)
Zakat is almsgiving
Hajj is a pilgramage

But we'll focus on just one thing here: Sawm and Ramadan.

During Ramadan, Muslims believe that this is the month in which the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH [Peace be upon him]) recieved the miracle revelation of the Qur'an dictated by the archangel Gabriel from God. To venerate this miracle, Muslims fast from sunup to sundown. At sundown we break fast by having a meal that is usually refered to as "iftar" and then before sunup we have a meal called "suhoor"

During Ramadan, in the time between sunup and sundown Muslims refrain from more than just eating food. Also, Muslims are to not drink anything (including water), no smoking, no sex or masterbation, no impure or degrading thoughts or actions and generally try to be as charitable and hospitable as possible. Even though the fast breaks at sundown, the improved ethical action is supposed to remain in observence.

Another thing that Muslims do is read the entire Qur'an in this time. The Qur'an is divided into sections, and each section is read one after another in a manner where you would have completed a full reading of the Qur'an in Ramadan's time period.

I'll be using this "journal" as a way to gather my own thoughts and observences during Ramadan, things I had issues with, things I noticed, or just general observations. Feel free to ask questions here at any time whether or not they are related to the current day's post and note that I might miss a day or two in a row but I will try to make up for them when I get around to it.

I personally love Ramadan, I look forward to it like most people look forward to Christmas.

To all my fellow Muslims out there: Ramadan Kareem and may God accept our fasting and find it pleasing. I look forward to this year's journey as every year I learn so much about myself and others during this time.

PS: This is my 3rd time doing Ramadan

[Scrappydoo]

Hey, Tyler you're going to do your Ramadan Journal HERE? That's a good idea, I might copy you, do you mind? PM ME!

[Tyler]

Yes I will be doing it here. I feel like this place is easily accessable and there's a capacity for good conversation along the way. I'd love for you to join me, will be nice to see the juxtaposition between a USA and Kuwaiti experience!

[Scrappydoo]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1312139804' post='517944']
Yes I will be doing it here. I feel like this place is easily accessable and there's a capacity for good conversation along the way. I'd love for you to join me, will be nice to see the juxtaposition between a USA and Kuwaiti experience!
[/quote]

OK! Mine isn't really a "typical" Kuwaiti experience, I don't go out the fancy buffets and I doubt I'll even visit in-laws while Abdullah is out of town!

[vendetta_revived]

Okay, I am not a muslim, and not a believer, and sorry if I offend anyone while writing this, I am fairly sure I won't, but I have a limited knowledge of islam and if it offends you, I am truly sorry and please pm me about it and I will ask a mod to remove it.

I've been a non believer for as long as I can remember, but I fast strictly during the month of ramadan, and I guess I am posting this because may be someone can tell me if it's wrong from a believer's point of view.

I was never inclined towards it, and would have never done it, but a good few years ago, I decided to fast in place of one of my dearest childhood friends. Well she told me it doesn't work that way and it is not allowed in islam, but I was determined to do it for her because she was in no state to go through it and was deeply upset, which was all the more depressing for me. I wouldn't go too much into what was the deal with her because it's still hard to talk about, but let's just say it was her last ramadan.

Luckily, the internet was there for me to find all the proper ways to do it without violating any rules, but one thing I find myself unable to do is to read the entire quran in the month, as I don't know the proper way to read it, and this thing is too personal to me to being able to ask my muslim friends around me about it.

For me, the month is a way of remembrance and my, you can say tribute to someone who stood by me when I was alone to the point where my own family had turned their back on me and someone who I am eternally indebted to, because I was suicidal and she did everything she could to get me through it, she was a very kind soul who truly was one of a kind in this world and would have become a very great human being, if she had more years, but that wasn't meant to be.

I've never discussed this with anyone else apart from her when she was here, but I don't really know how I am able to share it here, but I guess it has a lot to do with the anonymity. I've read somewhere that you should never pray in place of someone else and that it does harm to that person, or in my case, the person's soul. I would really like some information on that if you happen to know about it.

It may be surprising to some that I am asking about it as I already mentioned I am an atheist, but the thing is that my personal beliefs don't matter here at all, but the beliefs of the person I do this for.

Thanks, and as I mentioned in the beginning, I really don't know if this is offensive, so please forgive me if it is and pm me about getting it removed.

[Tyler]

It is not offensive at all and is very touching actually. Personally I can't say that I agree with all the rules and stipulations of ANY orgonized religions (even as a Muslim I do not put the Hadith or Sunnah into a place of authority, they are merely offered guidelines and suggestions as per example of the Prophet) the only authority is the Qur'an and the Bible for me. Many Christians and Muslims have a problem with my stance on this but it is not their right to judge me, that lies solely with God. But to your point there is nothing wrong with it as far as I know. Now I can't say that your fasting for her will do anything for her as far as credit goes, Islam is a very easy religion and there are acceptances for people who cannot fast due to health or any other reason such as travel. If she tries as much as she can, maybe only drinking water and eating the bare minimum to sustain her health then that is acceptable in Islam. It does not count as a full fast but there is a known intention of giving up luxary of excess in the day time. But I will say this, doing this for her, helps her find comfort I would imagine, and this act shows that there is more to a person than whether they call themselve an atheist, Muslim or anything else -- it's about truly loving another human being.
Thank you for the story, it couldn't have been easy to share but I hope you at least find comfort in knowing how much this act means to your friend; but also know, this cannot be bad for her soul at all, if anything it will inspire her to do more good for others.

[Tyler]

We established our menu for this week's inftars and I thought I'd share sicne I'm doing all the cooking lol

Monday - Fityar, it's kind of a pastry dough rolled out with ground beef, lots of spices, and veggies mixed together and baked on top with some oil and I like cheese on it
Tuesday - Kabsa, it's the traditional Saudi dish, many variations of it exsit and I'll post more about mine when it comes around
Wed - Chicken Alfredo since we can't eat middle eastern food ALL the time lol
Thurs - Lasanga because its easy to assemble early then pop it in the oven and feeds A LOT of people lol
Fri - Chicken Parm, everyone loves my cooking and this is one of their fav dishes I make and they all want me to make it Friday

Basically, I'll be cooking for myself and my two roommates and 4 of our other friends every day since none of them really know how to cook and they love my cooking. They offered to pay for all the groceries if I do the cooking and they will also do the dishes, seems like a winning situation for me

Anyways, 30 min til Suhoor and I want to finish my bowl of orange before sunrise take care all!

Ramadan Kareem!

[Scrappydoo]

[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1312159808' post='517982']
Okay, I am not a muslim, and not a believer, and sorry if I offend anyone while writing this, I am fairly sure I won't, but I have a limited knowledge of islam and if it offends you, I am truly sorry and please pm me about it and I will ask a mod to remove it.

I've been a non believer for as long as I can remember, but I fast strictly during the month of ramadan, and I guess I am posting this because may be someone can tell me if it's wrong from a believer's point of view.

I was never inclined towards it, and would have never done it, but a good few years ago, I decided to fast in place of one of my dearest childhood friends. Well she told me it doesn't work that way and it is not allowed in islam, but I was determined to do it for her because she was in no state to go through it and was deeply upset, which was all the more depressing for me. I wouldn't go too much into what was the deal with her because it's still hard to talk about, but let's just say it was her last ramadan.

Luckily, the internet was there for me to find all the proper ways to do it without violating any rules, but one thing I find myself unable to do is to read the entire quran in the month, as I don't know the proper way to read it, and this thing is too personal to me to being able to ask my muslim friends around me about it.

For me, the month is a way of remembrance and my, you can say tribute to someone who stood by me when I was alone to the point where my own family had turned their back on me and someone who I am eternally indebted to, because I was suicidal and she did everything she could to get me through it, she was a very kind soul who truly was one of a kind in this world and would have become a very great human being, if she had more years, but that wasn't meant to be.

I've never discussed this with anyone else apart from her when she was here, but I don't really know how I am able to share it here, but I guess it has a lot to do with the anonymity. I've read somewhere that you should never pray in place of someone else and that it does harm to that person, or in my case, the person's soul. I would really like some information on that if you happen to know about it.

It may be surprising to some that I am asking about it as I already mentioned I am an atheist, but the thing is that my personal beliefs don't matter here at all, but the beliefs of the person I do this for.

Thanks, and as I mentioned in the beginning, I really don't know if this is offensive, so please forgive me if it is and pm me about getting it removed.
[/quote]

I am not offended either, I think it shows you have a great heart. I will say this on the "technical" matters. SO much about Islam is about intentions and what is in your heart. It is the politics that muddy things up. Unlike Tyler, I find guidance in Hadeeth as well as the Quran and Bible. Such as fasting, you can and you do it or you can't and you don't. If you can't and don't, there are rules about how many people to feed and whether it is a condition you can make up later or not. The "denial of luxury" is another matter completely away from Ramadan. I don't think it matters what she believes, that part is up to GOD, but I am sure it was great comfort to her to have your companionship and support.

[Scrappydoo]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1312187258' post='518072']
We established our menu for this week's inftars and I thought I'd share sicne I'm doing all the cooking lol

Monday - Fityar, it's kind of a pastry dough rolled out with ground beef, lots of spices, and veggies mixed together and baked on top with some oil and I like cheese on it
Tuesday - Kabsa, it's the traditional Saudi dish, many variations of it exsit and I'll post more about mine when it comes around
Wed - Chicken Alfredo since we can't eat middle eastern food ALL the time lol
Thurs - Lasanga because its easy to assemble early then pop it in the oven and feeds A LOT of people lol
Fri - Chicken Parm, everyone loves my cooking and this is one of their fav dishes I make and they all want me to make it Friday

Basically, I'll be cooking for myself and my two roommates and 4 of our other friends every day since none of them really know how to cook and they love my cooking. They offered to pay for all the groceries if I do the cooking and they will also do the dishes, seems like a winning situation for me

Anyways, 30 min til Suhoor and I want to finish my bowl of orange before sunrise take care all!


YUM! Yeah, I can't do arabic food all the time either! Don't forget Taraweeh on odd nights!

Ramadan Kareem!
[/quote]

[vendetta_revived]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1312186934' post='518070']
It is not offensive at all and is very touching actually. Personally I can't say that I agree with all the rules and stipulations of ANY orgonized religions (even as a Muslim I do not put the Hadith or Sunnah into a place of authority, they are merely offered guidelines and suggestions as per example of the Prophet) the only authority is the Qur'an and the Bible for me. Many Christians and Muslims have a problem with my stance on this but it is not their right to judge me, that lies solely with God. But to your point there is nothing wrong with it as far as I know. Now I can't say that your fasting for her will do anything for her as far as credit goes, Islam is a very easy religion and there are acceptances for people who cannot fast due to health or any other reason such as travel. If she tries as much as she can, maybe only drinking water and eating the bare minimum to sustain her health then that is acceptable in Islam. It does not count as a full fast but there is a known intention of giving up luxary of excess in the day time. But I will say this, doing this for her, helps her find comfort I would imagine, and this act shows that there is more to a person than whether they call themselve an atheist, Muslim or anything else -- it's about truly loving another human being.
Thank you for the story, it couldn't have been easy to share but I hope you at least find comfort in knowing how much this act means to your friend; but also know, this cannot be bad for her soul at all, if anything it will inspire her to do more good for others.
[/quote]


[quote name='Scrappydoo' timestamp='1312187923' post='518073']
[quote name='vendetta_revived' timestamp='1312159808' post='517982']
Okay, I am not a muslim, and not a believer, and sorry if I offend anyone while writing this, I am fairly sure I won't, but I have a limited knowledge of islam and if it offends you, I am truly sorry and please pm me about it and I will ask a mod to remove it.

I've been a non believer for as long as I can remember, but I fast strictly during the month of ramadan, and I guess I am posting this because may be someone can tell me if it's wrong from a believer's point of view.

I was never inclined towards it, and would have never done it, but a good few years ago, I decided to fast in place of one of my dearest childhood friends. Well she told me it doesn't work that way and it is not allowed in islam, but I was determined to do it for her because she was in no state to go through it and was deeply upset, which was all the more depressing for me. I wouldn't go too much into what was the deal with her because it's still hard to talk about, but let's just say it was her last ramadan.

Luckily, the internet was there for me to find all the proper ways to do it without violating any rules, but one thing I find myself unable to do is to read the entire quran in the month, as I don't know the proper way to read it, and this thing is too personal to me to being able to ask my muslim friends around me about it.

For me, the month is a way of remembrance and my, you can say tribute to someone who stood by me when I was alone to the point where my own family had turned their back on me and someone who I am eternally indebted to, because I was suicidal and she did everything she could to get me through it, she was a very kind soul who truly was one of a kind in this world and would have become a very great human being, if she had more years, but that wasn't meant to be.

I've never discussed this with anyone else apart from her when she was here, but I don't really know how I am able to share it here, but I guess it has a lot to do with the anonymity. I've read somewhere that you should never pray in place of someone else and that it does harm to that person, or in my case, the person's soul. I would really like some information on that if you happen to know about it.

It may be surprising to some that I am asking about it as I already mentioned I am an atheist, but the thing is that my personal beliefs don't matter here at all, but the beliefs of the person I do this for.

Thanks, and as I mentioned in the beginning, I really don't know if this is offensive, so please forgive me if it is and pm me about getting it removed.
[/quote]

I am not offended either, I think it shows you have a great heart. I will say this on the "technical" matters. SO much about Islam is about intentions and what is in your heart. It is the politics that muddy things up. Unlike Tyler, I find guidance in Hadeeth as well as the Quran and Bible. Such as fasting, you can and you do it or you can't and you don't. If you can't and don't, there are rules about how many people to feed and whether it is a condition you can make up later or not. The "denial of luxury" is another matter completely away from Ramadan. I don't think it matters what she believes, that part is up to GOD, but I am sure it was great comfort to her to have your companionship and support.
[/quote]

Thanks for the input. I will definitely continue to fast as my tribute to her. Helps me remember and cherish the memories when she used to talk to me when the fasts got too much for her in her fine days.

Btw is it okay to smoke after I open my fast?

Good luck to you and everyone in your fasts, may you complete all of them.

[Coyote]

Why don't you use the blog section of your profile for this?

[Scrappydoo]

Thanks for the input. I will definitely continue to fast as my tribute to her. Helps me remember and cherish the memories when she used to talk to me when the fasts got too much for her in her fine days.

Btw is it okay to smoke after I open my fast?

Good luck to you and everyone in your fasts, may you complete all of them.
[/quote]


During the day; no eating, drinking, smoking and sexual activity, which you may resume after sundown. ALL during Ramadan, bad behavior such as fighting, gossiping, etc is especially bad. I really have a lot of respect for your honoring her this way, fasting is haaaard and if I didn't believe in GOD would probably be 100x harder!

[Tyler]

Well day 1 is over and man it was much harder than I remembered from the last year's first day! The not eating part is pretty easy but I just get so thirsty because of the heat! It was 97 with a heat index of 117 today, which is nothing compared to the middle east but still for cincinnati DAMN!

I did a lot more reading than I was supposed to, I finished surat 1 and 2 because I hate stopping in the middle of a sura! But I found a little part of an aya that I really liked and it spoke to me today:

"Our Lord! lay not on us a burden grater than we have strenth to bear, blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us, thou art our Protector; help us against those who stand against Faith."


It's the last half of aya 286 from Surah 2: Al Baqarah. I don't know why but I read it and it just seemed extremely poignant to me at the time, and off because I just had a conversation with my friends about how I was tired of always giving them the respect they should get even though I disagree with thier faith but them always saying stuff like "people who believe in God are stupid" and the such. I think I'll adopt this as my night time prayer for this Ramadan -- May God protect me from those who stand against Faith!

I don't really remember how I passed the time, I was kind of out of it through most of the day, I think I hopped on TC for a few min but I couldn't sit there and watch people smoke when I couldn't lol! I did spend about 3 hours cooking though!


This is the food I made:

[IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/2pquo1z.jpg[/IMG]

The stuff in the circle pans is Fityr, basically I made it semi-homemade by buying frozen dinner rolls, cutting them in half to make two foundations, and then the topping is a mix of ground beef, corn, peas, green beans, raisins, a LOT of herbs and spices, and garlic. The other one is the same thing just topped with cheese and more parsley.

The stuff on the plate is magrib and is basically a tomato based curry sauce with big chunks or potatoes and tomatoes with chicken and served with rice.



Overall it was a good day and inshallah the rest of Ramadan will be just as good

[LIQUIDGSR]

Ramadan Kareem bro. Great journal to read through.

[Scrappydoo]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1312276739' post='518296']
Well day 1 is over and man it was much harder than I remembered from the last year's first day! The not eating part is pretty easy but I just get so thirsty because of the heat! It was 97 with a heat index of 117 today, which is nothing compared to the middle east but still for cincinnati DAMN!

I did a lot more reading than I was supposed to, I finished surat 1 and 2 because I hate stopping in the middle of a sura! But I found a little part of an aya that I really liked and it spoke to me today:

"Our Lord! lay not on us a burden grater than we have strenth to bear, blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us, thou art our Protector; help us against those who stand against Faith."


It's the last half of aya 286 from Surah 2: Al Baqarah. I don't know why but I read it and it just seemed extremely poignant to me at the time, and off because I just had a conversation with my friends about how I was tired of always giving them the respect they should get even though I disagree with thier faith but them always saying stuff like "people who believe in God are stupid" and the such. I think I'll adopt this as my night time prayer for this Ramadan -- May God protect me from those who stand against Faith!

I don't really remember how I passed the time, I was kind of out of it through most of the day, I think I hopped on TC for a few min but I couldn't sit there and watch people smoke when I couldn't lol! I did spend about 3 hours cooking though!


This is the food I made:

[img]http://i52.tinypic.com/2pquo1z.jpg[/img]

The stuff in the circle pans is Fityr, basically I made it semi-homemade by buying frozen dinner rolls, cutting them in half to make two foundations, and then the topping is a mix of ground beef, corn, peas, green beans, raisins, a LOT of herbs and spices, and garlic. The other one is the same thing just topped with cheese and more parsley.

The stuff on the plate is magrib and is basically a tomato based curry sauce with big chunks or potatoes and tomatoes with chicken and served with rice.



Overall it was a good day and inshallah the rest of Ramadan will be just as good
[/quote]

The portions that are 1/30 called "Juz." I understand though, I always find something that speaks to me when I read and find myself pausing to wipe and think "WOW!" like it was written just for me. The "fityar" is interesting. We have Fatayer, which is like a pizza dough wrapped around cheese, veggies or zaater and baked, like a sauceless calzone. Edited August 2, 2011 by Scrappydoo

[Rani]

I want to thank both of you for doing this. But I think you should also do a mainstream blog on it. There are huge misconceptions about Islam in the non-Islamic community and the more information from a personal and spiritual point of view, the more understanding you foster in those who don't understand it. Maybe the two of you could share a blog. Simply create it on WordPress or Blogger, or wherever, and share the account and password information? I don't object to seeing here, just the opposite. But this is a rather isolated community and I think the bigger world should have a change to read it and experience it from your point of view.

'Rani

[Tyler]

I've thought about it Rani but as I said, with a mainsteam blog I would worry about objectifying it and since I know there will be some days where I don't update right away the expectation of doing it daily would be greater. I'm merely doing this to share with my friends here whom I know are capable of conversation and for myself just to have something to look back on when I get to rough spots in my life. Maybe next year I'll be more inclined to do it but this year I will definately have to pass.

[Scrappydoo]

[quote name='Rani' timestamp='1312305482' post='518332']
I want to thank both of you for doing this. But I think you should also do a mainstream blog on it. There are huge misconceptions about Islam in the non-Islamic community and the more information from a personal and spiritual point of view, the more understanding you foster in those who don't understand it. Maybe the two of you could share a blog. Simply create it on WordPress or Blogger, or wherever, and share the account and password information? I don't object to seeing here, just the opposite. But this is a rather isolated community and I think the bigger world should have a change to read it and experience it from your point of view.

'Rani
[/quote]


This is a great idea, Rani! I might do that, but I was a little worried how many haters are out there and I know this is a fairly mature and accepting audience!

[Tyler]

Just a half entry right now. I just finished my iftar cooking for 14 people today! [EEK!] but I made some delish kabsa....

I find that my cooking time is really almost like a meditative prayer....it's where I feel very serene, I don't really notice the pains of the hunger or thirst but I feel like I'm making something that will be the first thing these people taste all day, and I put my heart into it and cook with love. I know that sounds cliche but the moments when I'm cooking iftar for anyone but myself, it becomes the single most important thing that I focus on at the moment...well, of course next to the whole being mindful of God and other people thing, but you know what I'm saying lol!

Anyways, here is today's dish...my personal work of art:


[IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/j7xipx.jpg[/IMG]

This is my take on kabsa, origonally taught to me by a Saudi I kind of tweaked it and added some italian and irish flares to it. My recipie involves:

Corn
Celery
Tomatoes
Carrots
Garlic
Onion
Red, yellow, and green peppers
raisins

All sauteed into a pot with some spices and herbs [this part is secret but it does include cardamom and curry powder )

Then in the rice cooker I throw in a lot more cardamom and about 5-6 bay leaves while it cooks in chicken broth

Then I mix it all together and put some peppers and cardamom on top while it steams to add a little aroma and flavor burst.

I'm not trying to make this blog all about food but it's my main source of entertainment in the day lol. I'll do th eother half tonight after iftar and my juz' reading.

[Scrappydoo]

YUM! And just think, for every person you feed, you receive the reward of their fast as well. LUCKY!

[Tyler]

So I feel like I cheated today. Suhoor is at 5:15ish this week and last night after suhoor I wasn't tired so I stayed awake til 7 AMish...and I just woke up at 2 PM. I feel like thats cheating but apparently its normal lol. Anyways, while I was awake last night I was doing some more reading in the Qur'an and decided to read all of Surah 3 which is very comforting to me not only because of the familiar Christian plot line but because of the message it sends, that no matter how much you struggle in life, by staying strong in faith, no matter how much life is hard right now, there is eternal paradise waiting for me and that alone is motivation enough to stay strong, the closeness of God is something that really comforts me.

Today has been pretty meh so far, not really hungry but my mouth is dry and I really want a glass of ____ [insert almost anything to drink here!] I left my hookah on my night stand last night and it was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and a bowl of my Saudi mixed fruit sounds sooooo goood right now lol. Anywho, I get to pick up my car today from the shop and get a haircut on the way back then when I get home I'm making chicken alfredo for everyone and I'm having left overs from Monday and yesterday because I can't stand to see food go to waste, especially food I worked so hard on to make for everyone.

[Scrappydoo]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1312401319' post='518501']
So I feel like I cheated today. Suhoor is at 5:15ish this week and last night after suhoor I wasn't tired so I stayed awake til 7 AMish...and I just woke up at 2 PM. I feel like thats cheating but apparently its normal lol. Anyways, while I was awake last night I was doing some more reading in the Qur'an and decided to read all of Surah 3 which is very comforting to me not only because of the familiar Christian plot line but because of the message it sends, that no matter how much you struggle in life, by staying strong in faith, no matter how much life is hard right now, there is eternal paradise waiting for me and that alone is motivation enough to stay strong, the closeness of God is something that really comforts me.

Today has been pretty meh so far, not really hungry but my mouth is dry and I really want a glass of ____ [insert almost anything to drink here!] I left my hookah on my night stand last night and it was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and a bowl of my Saudi mixed fruit sounds sooooo goood right now lol. Anywho, I get to pick up my car today from the shop and get a haircut on the way back then when I get home I'm making chicken alfredo for everyone and I'm having left overs from Monday and yesterday because I can't stand to see food go to waste, especially food I worked so hard on to make for everyone.
[/quote]

It's not cheating, your body gets exhausted. This is a month of pushing your body to it's limits, loads of fun.

These are my favorite parts of the Quran too. The stories about Jesus (PBUH) and Mariam (PBUH) are really inspiring and interesting. I shouldn't admit it but I find the part coming next, all the legal details about divorce kind of snooze inducing! YUM! I wish I was closer to your house, I'd definitely pitch in!

[Tyler]

WELL. I am extremely unhappy. Thats the last time I ever cook for everyone again. That's just too much food to waste. I mean seriously, I don't know what the customs are in the middle east but when I'm spending 5-6 hours a day and $80-100 on iftar for YOU when I'd be more than happy with chicken and rice I would expect you to at least let me know, oh, maybe the night before, that you changed your plans and are going out to dinner instead. I am trying to stay calm but I'm fuming right now. Probably because I've been cooking for the last 3 hours and just found out about 10 minutes ago. Also, I'm really hungry, I work with the food all day that I can't eat while you sit there and watch TV and play video games. Sorry if I'm being irrational right now but I am not a happy person at all right now. For now on I'm cooking for me and people who speceifically ask me to do it. I'm no longer assuming that what we talked about for, oh, 2 months, almost every day leading up to Ramadan holds true because it obviously doesn't.

[Scrappydoo]

[quote name='Tyler' timestamp='1312409390' post='518515']
WELL. I am extremely unhappy. Thats the last time I ever cook for everyone again. That's just too much food to waste. I mean seriously, I don't know what the customs are in the middle east but when I'm spending 5-6 hours a day and $80-100 on iftar for YOU when I'd be more than happy with chicken and rice I would expect you to at least let me know, oh, maybe the night before, that you changed your plans and are going out to dinner instead. I am trying to stay calm but I'm fuming right now. Probably because I've been cooking for the last 3 hours and just found out about 10 minutes ago. Also, I'm really hungry, I work with the food all day that I can't eat while you sit there and watch TV and play video games. Sorry if I'm being irrational right now but I am not a happy person at all right now. For now on I'm cooking for me and people who speceifically ask me to do it. I'm no longer assuming that what we talked about for, oh, 2 months, almost every day leading up to Ramadan holds true because it obviously doesn't.
[/quote]

I don't blame you one bit! I was going to say it earlier but it seems like they are asking a lot of you and not contributing much. I mean, they are treating you like a restaurant! I can't speak for the Middle East but here families take turns and also go out to eat a few times to give everyone a rest. Like with Abdullah's family, his mom would cook one day, his brother and wife would provide food the next, me and Abdullah the next, his sister and her husband the next. NO ONE should be burdened with it every day, it is too much! I don't think you're being irrational at all. On the good side, you get the reward of every fasting person you fed, so that should make you feel good but I think from now on, TAKE CARE OF YOU! Even the ones who are being appreciative, make them help out or carry the burden a few days so you can rest. I always really suffer like the 3rd to the 7th day (or so) every year then I adjust and feel better. Hang in there! I am proud of you and I'm pissed off for you, buddy!

[Scrappydoo]

PS Don't waste the food if you can help it! If you can't store it as good leftovers, maybe see if a local mosque or even non-religious soup kitchen can take it! This would be a great chance to up your charity while the rewards are multiplied. Don't let yourself get to angry, not worth losing hasanat over ungrateful so-called friends.