Got A Km Hookah.... Are They Supposed To Be.... Dissapointing?

[punkonjunk]

So, previously, I'd purchased lots of ebay hookahs. Each time I'd find one I liked and had bearing valves, and 4 hoses. They would always be relatively gross, course on the inside, unfinished, and gunky, generally a little hard to clean.

I figured hey, I'll get a brand name hookah I've heard good things about, and I liked this KM red pear in design:

http://www.ultimatehookah.com/KM-Red-Pear-4-Hoses-2130R.htm?categoryId=-1

So it arrived today.

No valves. I cannot seem to unscrew any part of the stem assembly: It goes from the top of the bowl mounting thing to the very goddamn bottom, and appears to be all welded together.
No bearing valves at all. Smoking it will require thumb capping. For 4 times more in price than any other hookah I've ever had. And I can't even dissasemble it to clean as best I can tell.

Oh hey, and I also can't get the thing to fit in the glass base it came with. there are several sharp edges. I cannot figure out how the coal tray is supposed to go on if I can't screw it down.


Is this.... should I expect this? Are KM hookahs generally horrible? I have a very small mya hookah that is solid, but I kinda figured the branded hookahs would be..... worth the 150 bucks, and so on.

There is also black shit on the inside. Gross black shit. it smells like metal polish, but has little fibers in it.

Anyone have any feedback? I don't know if I should just clean it and try it out, or send it the hell back and head on over to ebay.

 

[Hellz]

Alot of hookahs don't break down like a Mya. Most are infact, welded together. I own a KM, and a Farida. Both have the same basic construction. They aren't churned out en-masse like Mya via hard machining. Of course every one is going to be slightly different, And the rigid edges I would say, are normal and perfectly acceptable. Honestly, I say multiple hose hookah suck. Mya is the only brand that I am aware of that has the hose check system for multi hoses. If you want a quality smoke from a KM, you can't judge them off of a multi-hose rig. Besides -  traditionally hookahs didn't have the check system anyway. KMs tend to be traditional that way, like most hookah brands. You may want to invest in a set of brushs as well to clean your hookahs, Because if you think disassembling them is a must to clean them, we need to teach you alot more, sir. If I were you though, I'd return the multi hose KM and get a single hose. Also, some bar keepers friend will take the black shit off. Most hookahs that are made of brass/copper/whatnot get tarnished. That's all that is. KMs will require a greater amount of care than a Mya to maintain asthetic pleasantness. It's not a lazy mans piece. It's something you take care of, and showcase, like a shiny trophy. You have to polish that trophy you know. And the coal tray just sits on there. You don't screw anything on. No need. KM are infact amazing hookahs. Just have to have a higher understanding of different hookahs. Which others can elaborate on alot better than I can.

[Tyler]

Well first of all, most multi-hosed hookahs do require an air stop to be placed on the unused hoses or face a weak draw. A KM hookah is a solid construction piece. They are meant to be welded together, assuming you're speaking about the trunk of the stem and the downstem. A long cleaning brush, like an oversized pipe-cleaner will clean it rather easily. The black junk inside is a little normal as it is a basic tarnish of brass/copper. Try using lemon juice and hot water soak to clean it. Most people on here will tell you that a single hose hookah is your best bet. Some brands, such as MYA, offer adaptors that will close off/add a close/open valve on unused hoses.

[Tyler]

Additionally, it might be that the grommet used for the stem/base connection is slightly too big. Don't be afraid to sand it down a little bit but you don't want it too small/easy to put in or you risk air leaks. Try wetting the inner base and the grommet with water to lube it a bit before sliding it in. I always apply a little bit of pressure to get my stem into my base.

 

The tray sits on the upper platform of the stem, it's not supposed to screw in at all lol :P

[Hellz]

Additional information: Never use an oil based lubricant of any kind on your grommet. Trust me... it makes the grommet decay and causes a shitstorm of other problems. School of hardknocks on that one... yea, sand your base grommet down, or use an exacto knife and cut it to size a bit

[punkonjunk]

That's so weird, though. I've bought so many 4 hose hookahs with
super solid construction, air valve with the bearing, and fully
dissasemble-able without any trouble: some had some rough edges and such, a couple would get a little tarnish and rust, and etc, but they were all solid, and each lasted a year or so before I stupidly broke them, or someone else did. All no name, egyptian crappy hookahs on ebay.

I'm just having trouble figuring out the real advantage to this brand name hookah, or what sets it apart from other, crappy no-brand hookahs? Besides the fact that it's going to be a lot harder to clean, and whenever I do a group smoke with it, I need to babysit people to keep their thumbs on it. which I hate.


As for the grommet, a little water helped me force it down, but it still doesn't fit real snug. I took a couple pictures:

Does NOT fit. I don't understand why not. It won't slide over, but it doesn't balance or lock in any way. Any coals on it would easily be teeter-totter catapulted by any mis-tap. Every other hookah I'd ever had screwed on down.



Side view of the same thing.

 

Dirty finger from stickin' it in there.



This is me forcing it as hard as I could down. A little water helped, but it never fits flush.
 

Crazy sharp edges. Cut the hell out of my finger on it.


What seems weirdest to me here.
80 bucks on a nice, tall, easy pull apart valved hookah on ebay. Yeah, I'll have to break down more to clean it, and I'll need to keep the bearings dry and lubricated and there are a lot more things that can get dirty or disgusting. I may have to refine it a little bit to be perfect, and it'll clearly need some more upkeep, because it's shitty and cheap, for sure.


But what's blowing me away, is this double the price thing with a brand name seems to be missing a lot of the stuff I liked about cheap, shitty ebay hookahs.

What I'm worried about, is if i give it a smoke and it's clearly nothing special on my little single hose mya, that I won't be able to return or exchange it.


So I guess the TL:DR question here: You think I should give it a shot anyhow, and once it's lit and going, I might see a real advantage over cheap ebay hookahs? A hundred fifty isn't a ton to lose on a hookah I don't like, but that'd sure piss me off and sour me on brand name hookahs.


 

[Tyler]

After seeing the pictures I would honestly send it back. That downstem doesn't look right, at all. I've seen that issue with the tray as well, some of them need to be "snapped" on if that makes sense. But based on the down stem alone I'd send it back and grab a single hosed hookah.

[fineout]

I'm not sure you aren't trolling but I digress...honestly KM's have gone down in fit and finish recently and that downstem is definitely not acceptable. BUT, you should have done some research. Most egyptian hookahs are not the best for multi-hose setups and if you looked around you would have found that MYA hookahs are usually the only multi-hose hookahs anyone here will reccomend because they are good quality and have those check valves you like.

 

The thing with KM's is they are handmade with quality materials, this means they will last for a very very long time as long as you take care of it. Get some brushes and some soap and you will be fine. It really isnt that hard to clean a hookah out. It also means that every one is different and the fit in the base might be a bit of a bear sometimes. It can be remidied with some sandpaper or a different gasket or hockey tape even which can be purchased anywhere. The tray thing you're freaking out about I honestly dont know what to tell you, thats how trays work, they sit there and dont need to be clipped or screwed in or anything, you wont be leaning on the thing or using it like a footrest, a couple coals wont weigh it down to the point of tipping...

[grock]

hell, if you don't want it, i'll take it off your hands. ;)

 

Ive always wanted to try a multi-hose KM....

[ChicagoRSX]

I'm not sure you aren't trolling but I digress...

 

 

I really feel that your response comes off more trolling. This guy comes here for opinions/help and to voice his concerns, and you start your post with that. I might be over reacting, but this just struck me as kinda inappropriate.

 

I'm going to say you might have received a defective one. But I'll agree, I smoked out of a KM once and I was incredibly under whelmed. 

[Tyler]

The more I look at the photos the more it looks like a fake KM to me...

[punkonjunk]

No, I'm not trolling. I fully understand brand loyalty, especially if you've had good experiences. I do really like my mya, and I want to look at some more in person, for sure. I really like diesel shirts, although I generally hate brand clothes, they fit, just, so goddamn good. Same with asos suits. Sometimes you just like how someone does somethin'.


And I searched a bit, people seem to really like their KM's here, and on youtube. It's not a huge deal to babysit thumbs, it just suprised me. I still think I'm going to give it a shot, and bit the bullet if UH won't take it back, doesn't hurt to have a backup. Hell, it might be a LOT better. Worst case, sell here or sell on ebay, buy another one.
I do kind of like that each hose inlet is fused straight down, rather than having that big nasty chamber that can get all full of horrible bullshit, as so many cheap hookahs I've bought have.

As far as that tray goes, I was wondering if I was supposed to "snap" it over the gap, but it's gonna live there if that's what I do. It'll probably sit just fine, though. It doesn't balance on there well, though. I tried, if you blow on it a little, it'll fall to the side, like in the 2nd picture of it. If you set a half a coal on it, it falls. It really doesn't sit well.

 

[Chreees]

Don't fault the brand... everything seems pretty standard here to me, except for the tray fitment. I'd contact Neiman at UltimateHookah.com and ask for another one that will properly fit. IMO, that should have been something that should have been checked before shipping out.

 

Either way, KMs are notorious for coming from Egypt quite dirty, and vendors don't have time nor the money to sit there and clean them all. The hose ports on KMs you will never see them have the auto-seal feature like the Mya Saray hookahs, and because they are handmade, there are often little imperfections here and there. Welding jobs are often crap, especially on the new KMs. The quality has just gotten much worse, IMO. They used to be made much better back when they were $60-80 a pipe. Oh the irony...

 

So yeah, either talk to Neiman about the tray, or take some pliers and open up the hole a bit so it'll fit. Those are about your only two options. Everything else seems pretty standard stuff to me. If you don't like it, then I'd recommend you get a Mya Saray instead. Machine-made, high-quality, four hose auto-seal option on many of the models... Seems like what you were looking for in a hookah in the first place.

[grock]

The more I look at the photos the more it looks like a fake KM to me...

 

 

You know, the more I look at it, I too begin to agree with you.

 

Does anyone have a link to a reliable retailer selling this specific model? I dont believe I can find one...  

 

The tray/hose/vase look legit, but the stem? I suppose I'm not a qualified 'professional', it just seems like "new" KM's have more design on the stem, especially near the hose ports or mid-section. Compared to being smooth all over. 

[Chreees]

As for the legitimacy of the KM in question, perhaps KM is just doing a new spin on the Pear? Wouldn't be the first time they've done this... (i.e. all the various trimetal models...)

[twoapplesplease]

Yup you bought a piece of shit KM...send it back...if you want a quality multi hose look to the germans

[Pavo21]

i just have to say that it might be one of the crappy ones, but just dont multihose unless its mya thats my opinion.  Atleast with Mya you can buy little port plugs and take the bearing valves off. and idk just multi hose hookahs seem so pointless to me.

[Arcane]

I'm not sure you aren't trolling but I digress...

 

 

I really feel that your response comes off more trolling. This guy comes here for opinions/help and to voice his concerns, and you start your post with that. I might be over reacting, but this just struck me as kinda inappropriate.

 

I'm going to say you might have received a defective one. But I'll agree, I smoked out of a KM once and I was incredibly under whelmed. 

Actually, I originally thought the OP was "trolling" as well.  The complaints he mentioned are pretty commonplace with all KM hookahs: one piece construction, dirty interior/exterior, and trays that rest on the tray holder.  Taking it for face value and given the comparisons e.g. all pipes I've owned were able to be broken down and trays locked in place, I could see how Shaun mistook the OP's intent.

 

However, it just seems the OP was misinformed or uneducated on what to expect when receiving a KM hookah in general, let alone a multi-hosed rig.  But, just looking at the pics...I am not surprised about anything shown.  The tray not fitting and the downstem shards are unacceptable, but not even remotely close to unexpected.  Just my 25 cents.

Edited March 27, 2013 by Arcane

[mushrat]

Just want to point something out. This is what "hand crafted" means. It means that a person made it by hand. That also means that it is not perfect. It is a unique piece of work that is going to have everything from minor imperfections to outright flaws. These are the chances you take with Handmade traditional hookahs. The quality controls are probably a little bit below what we might consider acceptable and as I have pointed out before, your weakest points are going to be welds.

 

If you think there is something truly wrong with the hookah or that it may not be a genuine KM then by all means, send it back, but if it just isn't "perfect", well, at least you know it's one of a kind. :)

[ChicagoRSX]

 

I'm not sure you aren't trolling but I digress...

 

 

I really feel that your response comes off more trolling. This guy comes here for opinions/help and to voice his concerns, and you start your post with that. I might be over reacting, but this just struck me as kinda inappropriate.

 

I'm going to say you might have received a defective one. But I'll agree, I smoked out of a KM once and I was incredibly under whelmed. 

Actually, I originally thought the OP was "trolling" as well.  The complaints he mentioned are pretty commonplace with all KM hookahs: one piece construction, dirty interior/exterior, and trays that rest on the tray holder.  Taking it for face value and given the comparisons e.g. all pipes I've owned were able to be broken down and trays locked in place, I could see how Shaun mistook the OP's intent.

 

However, it just seems the OP was misinformed or uneducated on what to expect when receiving a KM hookah in general, let alone a multi-hosed rig.  But, just looking at the pics...I am not surprised about anything shown.  The tray not fitting and the downstem shards are unacceptable, but not even remotely close to unexpected.  Just my 25 cents.

Like I said, I might have over reacted, and after you have validated, I happily acknowledge that fact.

[mustang67n]

It doesn't look like a knockoff to me. It looks legit. I've found that the multi hose traditional pipes don't seem to go through the same quality standards as the single port ones. I"ve only seen a select few, however..

This seems to be more of a case of OP not knowing what to expect with the pipe, or expecting something other than reality. I can see this with all the hype KM's get. They are beautiful pipes and they are tanks, but they don't have the bells and whistles that "mod" pipe smokers expect, particularly with the multihose pipes.. auto-seals, a stem that breaks down, a tray that fits snugly (or at all). These are things that many of us LIKE out of our pipes, but those looking for or used to "mod" hookahs aren't going to expect this, and will look at it as lower quality.

In the end it's a matter of opinion, expectations, and research. The research was not done, and the expectations weren't met.. bummer that OP spent that money on a pipe he does not like. Even more unfortunate is that it seems this pipe was made with lower standards than most KM products.

[Chreees]

Not to mention the fact that the Pears are a lower KM model, meaning the other models (i.e. Trimetals) are a good bit nicer... IMO, anyway.

[mattarios2]

Yeah tri metals are better quality. Not that pears are bad, I just feel they don't assemble the pears as nicely as the tri metal models and the materials are of lesser quality with the exception of the inner core pipe.

[punkonjunk]

It was a fine smoke, too. Cooler than my mya mini hookah, relatively easy to clean, no odd flavors. Just seems strange that for the price, it's very clearly hand made with welding skill I could probably muster. Still think I'm gonna hang onto it for now, though.

[skeetsak]

honestly the only problem is that the tray isn't punched through all the way.

 

the dirt is from welding

 

the pieces dont come apart bc they are not supposed to

 

the piece of metal hanging from the d-stem is not a problem

 

the ports don't seal bc they don't

 

 

just ask the retailer for a new tray