The Dumbest Questions You've Heard.

[.cOLt.45.]

i used to work at a $ store and every day i had people coming up to me asking, "is this a dollar?"

i finally got tired of hearing that question and started giving smart ass answers

"no maam thats a candle"

Oh god that reminds me of my stepmom..everytime she goes to the dollar store she spends like 50 bucks.. so my dad makes me go with her to help her pick up the shit she bought (It's ALWAYS dumb shit) so when I'm there her retarted self always goes up to the guy and asks...How much is deeS??? He's like..its...1...dollar..

[xpimpitox]

how about im fully decked in my safeway hat, apron full of fish guts n blood (hey i work the meat/seafood department) and a name badge i get "do you work here?" or "can you help me with the meat?" no shit im only working behind the counter! Edited February 13, 2007 by xpimpitox

[sicklecow]

I brought my car into the shop the other day. My girlfriend and I drove separately to the shop so that I'd have a way to get back. I got done filling out the paperwork, and we were about to head out when she asked, "So are you going to leave your car here?"

[not.plugged.in]

ahh good ol penny arcade

[angemonkwj]

I brought my car into the shop the other day. My girlfriend and I drove separately to the shop so that I'd have a way to get back. I got done filling out the paperwork, and we were about to head out when she asked, "So are you going to leave your car here?"

your reply should have gone like this: "No princess, I figured I would drive it here, fill out the paperwork, then drive it home so you could come pick it up personally" here's your sign....lol

[Sir Tony]

I am a professional photographer: In November of last year when I was covering a Barack Obama rally in Milwaukee, note I was wearing two camera bodies around my neck, with two rather large white lenses. People still had the nerve to ask me if I was a photographer. People.

What I wanted to say in return was, no, I just stole all of this equipment, wanna buy it? Edited February 15, 2007 by Sir Tony

[Allia22]

I am a professional photographer: In November of last year when I was covering a Barack Obama rally in Milwaukee, note I was wearing two camera bodies around my neck, with two rather large white lenses. People still had the nerve to ask me if I was a photographer. People.

What I wanted to say in return was, no, I just stole all of this equipment, wanna buy it?

It is Milwaukee... *shudder*

[McDarragh]

working in Fruit and Vege store, A chick comes up to me and goes wheres the lettuce, I have 2 in my hands and i'm standing right next to like a 2 meter long triple decked grid of lettuce. I was like 'is that a trick question'? Then lifted my hand up with a lettuce and she went bright red hahaha

[DarthHookah]

i work in a pizza place. every now and then some of the more pleasant people from the inner city come in off of busses (literally, like 50 of them). every single one of them came up to the counter, looked at the menu behind me for a solid minute, and asked "how much is a large?" of course, id have to follow it up with "how many toppings?" it got to the point where i said "i dont know, you were the one looking at the menu." then some would get pissed that their pizza cost 30 cents more than the last guy... who bought less stuff.

[gonzorilla]

This all happened while cutting a coconut in half....the coconut just split and the milk is coming out, here come the questions.

Girl: I thought Coconuts had milk.
Me: They do, thats whats pouring out of it.
Girl: So it's not like cow milk?
Me: No, it's like coconut milk.

Now the coconut is split in half and we are cutting the meat out.

Girl: Does it taste like coconut?
Me: No, more like beef jerkey.
Girl: Wow, thats suprising.

Unbelievable eh?

[jorgio]

Id like to sit down and watch some foodtv with her^

[Akkbar]

I was bartending at the rolling stones pre-party here in calgary, and some gorgeous blonde asks me if I know how to make a rum and coke.

Another day, I was at the range and some fat hunter guy asked me where I got my garand. I was shooting my mosin. (but you guys might not appreciate how stupid that one was...)

I got too many more too list here...

[ghostofdavid]

If you have a (Russian?) Mosin or a Garand, we're friends. Mosins are about the cheapest fun you can have for less than 80 bucks.

Remember kids, just because it has wood furniture doesn't make it a Garand!

[angemonkwj]

working in a cell phone store i have to deal with the elderly all the time. at least 6 times a week i get the question "how come my phone wont work. none of the lights come on." i then proceed to press the power button and turn on the phone and the next sentence out of there mouths is "oh i feel so stupid now."

or even better, "how do you call someone on this phone?"

[benmandude]

Here is one from today.

I was up with three friends at Copper Mountain doing a little bit of snowboarding. We were riding on the chair lift and someone from the chair lift behind us let out a loud scream. I have a very loud voice and decided to let one out.

Me: aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Friend: Wow, that was loud, you could start an avalanche with that.

Me: Actually, Copper Mountain tried to hire me to work with the avalanch crew.

Friend: Really?


I just stare at her for a good 30 seconds and say, are you fucking kidding me.

[Akkbar]

If you have a (Russian?) Mosin or a Garand, we're friends. Mosins are about the cheapest fun you can have for less than 80 bucks

1939 all matching m91/30 Izhevsk. Shoots soooo good. My point was the action... being bolt, it can't be a garand, can it?

almost as fun as my sks...

[ghostofdavid]

That is a totally ninja-fied SKS. I have a stock Yugo SKS that continues to ooze cosmoline no matter how many times I have cleaned it.

And yes, you are right about the bolt action. The Garand operates on a "gas operated rotating bolt" action. Not a crank the bolt everytime to shoot action. I'm not sure what that is called. I'll try and post a few pics of the three rifles I have.

1. S&W AR-15 M4
2. Yugo SKS
3. Savage 7mmRemMag Bolt Action

And I am always looking for just one more rifle.

[.cOLt.45.]

nice on AKK ^^ I've always been interest in WWII era rifles

[Akkbar]

The mosin's name is Anastasia.

[EvansLight]

Favorite question of all time:

"My computer has been acting slow recently, how do i turn off windows and turn on linux?"

to which my reply was:

"See that button on the front? Hold that for a few seconds."

to which i got a call back the next day:

"Everytime i try it my computer just dies, do i need to get a new button"

oh god i wish i was making that up XD

[cafesaden]

you guys will get a kick out of this one.

i work at a pizza place currently. my main job is delivery. I NEVER answer the phone.

one night right as we were about to walk out at close, the phone rings. So i decided to answer it because I could simply say that we were closed.

it goes something like this:

"mountain mikes on bell road"

"HEYYYYY! you guys deliver?"

"Yeah but we ar..."

"Can you DELIVER BEER?"

"Uhh wel.."

"You GUYS GOT KEGS? Can I GET A KEG DELIVERED?"

-----so I decide to be smart-------

"A keg?"

"...Yeah like of beer"

"How do you suppose I lift it?"

"Pick it up man"

"I don't think it will fit in my car"

"What kind of car is it?"

"Honda hatchback"

"Oh. well can you try for me?"

"Okay, where are you located?"

"Im at the holiday inn"

---- my manager was cracking up but told me to stop (why i don't answer phones haha) ----

"Room Number?"

"129"

"Ok, I'll send some cops"

-he hung up-

[Allia22]

Favorite question of all time:

"My computer has been acting slow recently, how do i turn off windows and turn on linux?"

to which my reply was:

"See that button on the front? Hold that for a few seconds."

to which i got a call back the next day:

"Everytime i try it my computer just dies, do i need to get a new button"

oh god i wish i was making that up XD

Dear Jebus, please kill the idiots now and I'll bring you a cookie when I die. Love, Kim.

[.cOLt.45.]

Favorite question of all time:

"My computer has been acting slow recently, how do i turn off windows and turn on linux?"

to which my reply was:

"See that button on the front? Hold that for a few seconds."

to which i got a call back the next day:

"Everytime i try it my computer just dies, do i need to get a new button"

oh god i wish i was making that up XD

tell em you make custom new buttons for the computer that makes tha interwebz goes fastah!

[ASUSEAN1]

Here is a good one,,

So i was at the land rover dealership the other day in scottsdale, arizona. now if you don't already know, scottsdale is a upscale town for the most part- lots of rich people and stupid women driving around high end cars their husbands bought them. Anyways, this midde age lady is talking to one of the technecians and she shows him the scratch on the rim of her new range rover sport from hitting a curb. the tech tells her that it needs to be replaced, there is no way to fix it. then she asked, "do i need to buy all four new ones?"

i didnt get to hear the rest, but something tells me the technecian just said yes. this lady had no clue what was going on

[kornkitten42]

Well...... i work at the police department right? I'm a dispatcher.

In order to call the dispatch line you have to dial a regular number if you don't dial 911.... WHICH 99% of people have* to look up in the phone book under police department........

so when they call..... after looking it up.......there is a long message with extentions and says "thank you for calling the city police department..... ect ect to speak with so and so press 1 and if you need to speak with dispatch or a police officer press 0 or 8.....

So i get the ring though....."City Police Department how can i help you?"........


IT THIS THE POLICE DEPARTMENT??.............


no .... get the door, it's domino's!

i hate dumb people....


Another funny situation happened to me.... I had "falls" put into my hair last june/july, with braids and fall work, think of a very fancy weave for white people? that's usually pink, or blue, kind of goth/ industrial ect anyways/.. you can look it up if you'd like......\

so anyways... i was in wal-mart shopping and i had black and red falls so they weren't too weird but it was long and braided ect, so this woman comes up to me, and grabs a handful of my hair and that was resting on my chest and asks... WOW! IS YOUR HAIR REAL?????............... I quickly snapped around took one look at her husband and her (she was very um "busty", and said.... "Wow... are they real? and poked her in the chest her eyes got all wide and said "well i never" and her husband got pissed..... and i just laughed said maybe you should think twice before you walk up and grab someone you don't know...... and i walked away....


you don't walk up to someone and start touching them... that's rude and i have a phobia about people touching my hair ick! what the hell is wrong with people?