Love Is?

[Sonthert]

Time will wash all our songs, the songs of our fathers and the songs of our children away into primordial goo. Love is the one thing that suspends that while we are alive.

Love is a flower that smells wonderfully, but fades quickly.

Love in the spring of a man's life is a blessing. Love in a man's summer is understandable. Love in a man's autumn is gripping. Love in a man's winter is lunacy.

Love is the affirmation that we shall avoid the cold grip of death as long as god allows us.

[Johnny_D]

I thought that f-buddies were allmost the soul domain of the married.

What's the point in single people fb's ? That's just two people having random sex?

I can see the benefit for married folk's having a regular safe fb though. (not that i condone such behaviour)

JD

Okay fella.... I hold down three careers. Day gig that takes 10 hours a day, one as a working artist, another as a working writer, and now and then I do studio work as a singer.

With my schedule who the heck has time for a serious relationship? The very best friends with fringe benefits situations are just that: FRIENDS.

I've learned a lot about love from watching my Siamese cats together. They play, they fight, they get over it, they snuggle up together, they bathe each other, they sleep at opposite ends of the bed at times. My point is that they are totally in touch with themselves. Because animals can't be anything else. They're primal, elemental, grounded.

It's when our brains and societies "morals" kick in that things get all messed up. We have expectations, we have deadlines, we don't let it go and let it flow. Love isn't love until you're in it. If we all took care of ourselves (safe sex), and kept our hearts and minds open, some relationships will develop naturally into long-lasting (maybe forever) love.

Others will fade on their own with fond memories. Someone may come into my life that's as busy as I am. And somehow our spare time may just always spent together. If so, then it may become a "traditional" relationship.

But as a single person who has usually had a friend around now and then, it's not necessary to my life.

Your first commitment should always be to yourself. The other who come through your life whether as a friend, lover, or happily ever after love, are the accompaniment to your song - not the composer.

Now that I can actually read your post...

Personally, The 'i am busy' is just an excuse to hide behind. Before I was married I was working 12hrs a day as a Apprentice engineer whilst also studying my vocational qualifications & taking on open university for my fancy smancy degree.

Now I work 12hrs a day as a managing engineer and have 3 daughters, wife & a dog to contend with!

I'm afraid FB's smack of being cheap and sluttish. From reading your reply to the above I envisage that you are the female end of your FB relationships?

I can allmost promise you Men have a different Point of View. It's an easy lay.

This is, of course, just my own personal Point of view.

I apologise if anyone finds my point of view harsh, but I am trying to steer 3 girls into being women. I find it nauseating the thought of them taking the FB view of life.

Best Regards,
JD

edit :- to add 'e' to the end of female

[Bryantos]

Personally, I think people put love in a box. There is so much more to it then just love for another person of the opposite sex. For example, I love my mom, dad, brother (R.I.P), friends, girlfriend, and etc. However, I don't love them all in the same way. I obviously don't love my dad like I love my girlfriend, but I do love them both.

If I asked you "Do you have love in your life?", what would your reponse be? Why? Most people hear love, and they think a deep emotional connection with a person of the opposite sex. You don't love your friends? Mom? Dad? Anyone?

Every time I see someone I love, I give them the tightest fucking hug as if it was the last time I may see them, because for all I know, it may be.

Another common question is "What creates love?". Well, I don't have the answer for that, because several things can create love, but love is the deep emotional connection you have with someone.

[ghostofdavid]

Other languages, such as Koine Greek, have different words for different kinds of love.

Eros for intense sexual/lustful love. Where we get the word erotic from.

Agape - selfless (mostly referring to unsexual/nonsexual) expressoin of love

Phileo/Philos - Brotherly love, comradery

Porniea - Throngs of passion love usually as seen in a negative light. Where we get the word pornography from.

I love a fine philly cheese steak sandwich. I love my beloved Christina. I love my mother. I love my cat.

Some word, vastly different meanings.

I think that love comes from God and that God itself is love. It is not my intention to turn this in to a philosophical/theological debate but the concept of God is so deeply involved with my perception of love that the two must be discussed if I am to convey how I express what I see love as being. I beg your pardon and hope you will tolerate my conversation of God if only to describe its personal and intertwined definition I have of the two. If we are speaking of the realm of the metaphysic particulars in the same fashion that Socrates and Plato may have done, God as love is the "particular" and my less than image is a weakly refracted mirror of said love.

These are the things that are very hard to put into words.

Because of the idea of love that I have, I love my brothers and sisters in humanity. I try to love my enemies even when they do not love me. I love my parents the best I can even if their love for me is not reciprocal. I love my friends because eventually I see them as family or closer than family. I remain faithful to my beloved and try and hold her in the highest regard.

[Allia22]

I thought that f-buddies were allmost the soul domain of the married.

What's the point in single people fb's ? That's just two people having random sex?

I can see the benefit for married folk's having a regular safe fb though. (not that i condone such behaviour)

JD

Okay fella.... I hold down three careers. Day gig that takes 10 hours a day, one as a working artist, another as a working writer, and now and then I do studio work as a singer.

With my schedule who the heck has time for a serious relationship? The very best friends with fringe benefits situations are just that: FRIENDS.

I've learned a lot about love from watching my Siamese cats together. They play, they fight, they get over it, they snuggle up together, they bathe each other, they sleep at opposite ends of the bed at times. My point is that they are totally in touch with themselves. Because animals can't be anything else. They're primal, elemental, grounded.

It's when our brains and societies "morals" kick in that things get all messed up. We have expectations, we have deadlines, we don't let it go and let it flow. Love isn't love until you're in it. If we all took care of ourselves (safe sex), and kept our hearts and minds open, some relationships will develop naturally into long-lasting (maybe forever) love.

Others will fade on their own with fond memories. Someone may come into my life that's as busy as I am. And somehow our spare time may just always spent together. If so, then it may become a "traditional" relationship.

But as a single person who has usually had a friend around now and then, it's not necessary to my life.

Your first commitment should always be to yourself. The other who come through your life whether as a friend, lover, or happily ever after love, are the accompaniment to your song - not the composer.

Now that I can actually read your post...

Personally, The 'i am busy' is just an excuse to hide behind. Before I was married I was working 12hrs a day as a Apprentice engineer whilst also studying my vocational qualifications & taking on open university for my fancy smancy degree.

Now I work 12hrs a day as a managing engineer and have 3 daughters, wife & a dog to contend with!

I'm afraid FB's smack of being cheap and sluttish. From reading your reply to the above I envisage that you are the female end of your FB relationships?

I can allmost promise you Men have a different Point of View. It's an easy lay.

This is, of course, just my own personal Point of view.

I apologise if anyone finds my point of view harsh, but I am trying to steer 3 girls into being women. I find it nauseating the thought of them taking the FB view of life.

Best Regards,
JD

edit :- to add 'e' to the end of female

But how about purely monogamous FBs? I got freaked out with serious relationships a few years ago, so while I may have strong feelings for someone (not categorizing it with love because even after all of this I'm still not sure what it is ), chances are it won't attain the bf/gf status for a LONG time to come. Is that really so bad?

[Johnny_D]

=
But how about purely monogamous FBs? I got freaked out with serious relationships a few years ago, so while I may have strong feelings for someone (not categorizing it with love because even after all of this I'm still not sure what it is ), chances are it won't attain the bf/gf status for a LONG time to come. Is that really so bad?

It's Complicated for me Allia

On the one hand I have my 'Super Horn Dog emotions.. please let me hump your leg'
On the other hand I have my 'DAD'

Bloody tough call sometimes I'll tell ya.

At some point you get to make your own decisions in life, and they will ultimately dictate how you live and die.

I guess there is no right or wrong. Apart from what my daughters do

JD

[ahwahoo2006]

But how about purely monogamous FBs?

Whether you want to admit it or not, that is a relationship, just without the name.

[Allia22]

But how about purely monogamous FBs?

Whether you want to admit it or not, that is a relationship, just without the name.

I think the name/title is pretty much what I'm afraid of >.<

[jonny_lech]

But how about purely monogamous FBs?

Whether you want to admit it or not, that is a relationship, just without the name.

I think the name/title is pretty much what I'm afraid of >.<

People fear labels. We, as humans, have an imperfect mode of communication. I cannot convey the totality of experience. Even to attempt to try in a situation such as an interpersonal relationship would take a very long time. Therefore, we have these boxes of ideas, and those boxes are labels. It's the way we describe what we know with the best possible analog. Well, of course nothing is ever exact. There's all of these ancillary ideas, concepts, archetypes, and cliche`s that hitch a ride when we call someone (boy/girl)friend. And we may be scared of them because we don't like them, and feel like we didn't choose them.

Labels truly mean nothing. What you had, be it a 'booty call' relationship or 'going steady' or just simply 'boyfriend/girlfriend'; that really ultimately says very little about what it was. Simply let things be as they will, without trying to confine the emotional and physical bounds.

As for this whole topic in general, I mentioned to an older friend once that I realized that romantic love was dramatized and worshipped in our culture and there was no guarantee that I would ever have 'anything' again. The reply? "Congratulations, you found out there is no Santa Claus."

[Sonthert]

But how about purely monogamous FBs? I got freaked out with serious relationships a few years ago, so while I may have strong feelings for someone (not categorizing it with love because even after all of this I'm still not sure what it is ), chances are it won't attain the bf/gf status for a LONG time to come. Is that really so bad?

I've done the semi-open fuck buddy thing. I have an observation, regarding same. Its fun, time passes by just fine...but relationships take practice, like anything else. You might be able to perfect the monogamous fuck buddies thing or at least get better at it...it doesn't transfer over to long-term monogamous relationships, I don't think. Do people drive rental cars the same way they drive their own car? Nope. Same deal. Although driving a motorcycle, a car or a truck is pretty much the same thing, there's separate tests for each...just because they are similar doesn't mean the carry-over gets you a universal pass.

Do it, get your practice in, who cares? Try your best, if it doesn't work out, you move on. How many people that want to get a cat, for instance, don't even go to pet stores/shelters, because they might end up with a cat who their feelings aren't right for or their just scared that the cat won't work out? Doesn't make too much sense, does it?

[ahwahoo2006]

Sonthert, did you just compare women to cars and cats??

[camelflage]

Sonthert, did you just compare women to cars and cats??

why yes, yes he did. and that saves me from making my "f-buddies is like test-driving cars" argument. i spent almost a year researching and test-driving for the car i bought, so you can only imagine how i approach my love life...

[teghookah]

fuck love.

TRUE TRUE