Girl Problems?!

[Hookah Joe]

Hey guys, Joe here. Had a great weekend. For the last few weeks, me and this girl Carly got really close. It started as a drunk hookup at a party (god that was a good night). I called her the next day, breaking the 2 day rule. It was like, I couldn't help it. Since I was 13, I was all about goin to parties, getting all drunk and hookin up with a girl who was equally drunk. Relationships never went good with me- I was always too trusting. It was just, I kept thinking about her, and it was different. We got really close, and seemed perfect for eachother. Decided to party last night, and she didn't want to go. Well, I wound up getting pretty messed up ( Won 2 beer pong games, and some shots of E & J), and I was out. Wound up hooking up with not 1, but 3 girls. Now remember, Me and Carly are together. Ofcourse, she finds out somehow, and freaks out. I realized how much I really care for her, and that there was love, and there still is. I told her I was going to make it up to her...
And how I planned to make it up to her. On a nice hill,right before sunset, I'm making her dinner. Since she loves seafood, I'm making grilled scallops with a lemon butter sauce, and some lobster. Also, I've got some wonderful Wine picked out( Some suggestions would be great). Along with some music she likes (hip-hop), and some love songs (Brian mcknight and bryan adams are a few). Got us some blankets and pillows to just chill and look at the stars. She said to me, " Whatever you're going to do tuesday night, It's your last and only chance to show your love." I'm worried im going to mess something up, and lose her forever. I guess the depressed mood im in doesn't help ( Listening to Akon- Mr. Lonely).Some Advice would be great. I've also got a movie planned (Providing the champagne and laying next to eachother looking at the starts doesn't work).

[ghostofdavid]

Sans judgments of all characters and not knowing you or her, I would say completely ditch the movie and rely on conversation to get you through the tough time(s).

Come up with a plan to let her know what you will be doing in the future to prevent such other things from occurances.

Don't be pissed if she still says no way to the relationship. If this happens, learn from your mistakes and move on.

[Hookah Joe]

Sans judgments of all characters and not knowing you or her, I would say completely ditch the movie and rely on conversation to get you through the tough time(s).

Come up with a plan to let her know what you will be doing in the future to prevent such other things from occurances.

Don't be pissed if she still says no way to the relationship. If this happens, learn from your mistakes and move on.

Thanks Dave. Hoping it all works out tonight!

[Lakemonster]

Your dinner plan sounds good... I sustain the conversation point that GoD makes.

Your attempt to "make it up to her" will not be the dinner. YOu cant make it up that way. The one way you can make it up to her is to begin and maintain an exclusive relationship.

As time rolls on and your partying continues, you will find that you will need to safeguard yourself from the advances of "drunk chicks". You, yourself, will need to check your drinking to keep your head.

I have made it a rule as a married man that as soon as a drunk chick starts being suggestive or that clingy hang all over you stuff.. its time to peel her off of you and step without a word.

Anyway.... good luck with that.... the fact that she is speaking to you means she's game to continue the relationship..... If she wants to talk about it and work it out..... you should LISTEN......then shut up..... and listen some more. When she is angry and asking pointed questions, dont get defensive. Maintain an sfot even voice and answer her honestly... This will allow her to spend her frustration and let it burn out without you adding any more "fuel" to the fire...... then when she is done asking you question......... listen even more.

[hookahmike]

Humans 'COMMUNICATE' so that is the way to go

Get the movie idea out of there RIGHT NOW! - That doesn't help the above.

If you care, the 'actions speak louder than words' is TRUE. (never been unfaithful to my beloved, but I'm spoiled so I never needed to be )

Everyone I know or have ever been out w/ has always KNOWN about how much I love my wife. So never an issue.

'Partying' responsibly is part of the relationship. That is always happening whether you're together @ a given moment or not.

Relationships are 24/7 jobs that never end or have downtime - that is what makes the good ones worth it.

Even more than what YOU will do for her, find out what SHE wants from YOU, then decide together what combination works (this is of course constantly evolving (24/7 ))

Last but not least, biggest part of the the discussion is LISTENING (Even if the description of a subject is LONG Shows you care enough to be involved)

There is alot more, but this is some of the stuff that has helped me stay married for 20 years this Oct
When the world goes to hell, we give each other a hug and that is our refuge so we can recharge enough to somehow keep going.
When it is OK, we get to SHARE

May this evening be the beginning of a better relationship

Your dinner plan sounds good... I sustain the conversation point that GoD makes.

Your attempt to "make it up to her" will not be the dinner. YOu cant make it up that way. The one way you can make it up to her is to begin and maintain an exclusive relationship.

As time rolls on and your partying continues, you will find that you will need to safeguard yourself from the advances of "drunk chicks". You, yourself, will need to check your drinking to keep your head.

I have made it a rule as a married man that as soon as a drunk chick starts being suggestive or that clingy hang all over you stuff.. its time to peel her off of you and step without a word.

Anyway.... good luck with that.... the fact that she is speaking to you means she's game to continue the relationship..... If she wants to talk about it and work it out..... you should LISTEN......then shut up..... and listen some more. When she is angry and asking pointed questions, dont get defensive. Maintain an sfot even voice and answer her honestly... This will allow her to spend her frustration and let it burn out without you adding any more "fuel" to the fire...... then when she is done asking you question......... listen even more.

[Kym]

you're 13!!!!!!! Dont worry so much. u have youre whole life and even though it may not seem like it right now there are alot of fish in the sea!

[hookahmike]

We're not exactly sure on this so I will ask the ???

How old ARE you Joe Please

you're 13!!!!!!! Dont worry so much. u have youre whole life and even though it may not seem like it right now there are alot of fish in the sea!

Edited April 10, 2007 by hookahmike

[Hookah Joe]

We're not exactly sure on this so I will ask the ???

How old ARE you Joe Please

you're 13!!!!!!! Dont worry so much. u have youre whole life and even though it may not seem like it right now there are alot of fish in the sea!

Haha, We all know I turned 19 march 25th. She didn't read my post... And that's why her advice isnt sounding too intelligent. I said in my post " SINCE I was 13, it was all about partying..." But yeah, I just turned 19.

[Dudeman]

talk it out and put forth effort and keep in mind that if after this if she becomes a jealous person and the relationship becomes unhealthy youll have to make changes.

[ahuwood]

well i think you need to keep your drinking in check...don't drink enough to where you can't control yourself. And i hope all works out well for you in the future.

[The King]

We're not exactly sure on this so I will ask the ???

How old ARE you Joe Please

you're 13!!!!!!! Dont worry so much. u have youre whole life and even though it may not seem like it right now there are alot of fish in the sea!

Haha, We all know I turned 19 march 25th. She didn't read my post... And that's why her advice isnt sounding too intelligent. I said in my post " SINCE I was 13, it was all about partying..." But yeah, I just turned 19.

Haha, yeah i thought you were only 13 too, i was like god damn... i didnt start drinking that early and Its developed fast... Don't blame the booze, people fuck up, just don't go party without someone there that you can trust to keep you in check

[ASUSEAN1]

so how did it go?

[Erica]

I too, am curious!

[Hookah Joe]

I too, am curious!

Well, the food was really good. But, that's about where it ended. I found out the next night SHE went out, and slept with like 4 guys. I actually ended the date, stating " I couldn't be with a girl who would critsize me for my mistakes, then be a hypocrite and go do the same thing for revenge" When I asked her why she did it, she replied, " Well, You did it to me, so it was only fair." I promptly packed up my stuff and drove away. You know, Honest people make mistakes, But ignorant people repeat them. She definatly tried to play me, and I want nothing more to do with her. I guess it was a lesson learned.

[Erica]

wow. That's a bummer...

That really wasnt what I was expecting...

I'm sorry man!

[McDarragh]

hope you learnt the lesson she just taught you, no offence but you deserved it and i bet you wont do it again now you know what it feels like

[xpimpitox]

man ohh man. this is why i dont even both getting into relationships at this point in my life. im going to be 24 years old next month and my last relationship was when i was 19 years old. I have so many other things going on in my life i feel i dont have need for distractions. a lot of girls out there are distractions from what you want to pursue something for yourself in the future. the ones who care and understand i feel are harder to find. that is my case however with your case it just proves to me that at a younger age such as 19 or shit even 23 for the most part there is no need to be in a serious relationship. its obvious you like to party hard (shit who doesnt?) and would you be, at 19 be willing to cut down or give up all together doing what i feel people in our age group should be doin, partying, having a good time and planning for thier future? Personally i knoe i would not be able to but kudos for you at a young age if that would be the case. im glad you took this as a lesson learned and your not still chasing after a stupid, young girl like that that played the "ohh you did it so why shouldnt i?" game. if she truly cared for you and wanted stuff to work out she wouldnt have gone and spread her legs for 4 other guys despite you hooking up with someone at a party, she would have really wanted to work it out. i applaud you for not taking any crap like that good job DTBing!!!!

[Hookah Joe]

man ohh man. this is why i dont even both getting into relationships at this point in my life. im going to be 24 years old next month and my last relationship was when i was 19 years old. I have so many other things going on in my life i feel i dont have need for distractions. a lot of girls out there are distractions from what you want to pursue something for yourself in the future. the ones who care and understand i feel are harder to find. that is my case however with your case it just proves to me that at a younger age such as 19 or shit even 23 for the most part there is no need to be in a serious relationship. its obvious you like to party hard (shit who doesnt?) and would you be, at 19 be willing to cut down or give up all together doing what i feel people in our age group should be doin, partying, having a good time and planning for thier future? Personally i knoe i would not be able to but kudos for you at a young age if that would be the case. im glad you took this as a lesson learned and your not still chasing after a stupid, young girl like that that played the "ohh you did it so why shouldnt i?" game. if she truly cared for you and wanted stuff to work out she wouldnt have gone and spread her legs for 4 other guys despite you hooking up with someone at a party, she would have really wanted to work it out. i applaud you for not taking any crap like that good job DTBing!!!!

Thanks man. And to the other poster, yeah I learned a lesson. She taught me some people won't forgive others due to their insecurity. Anyway, Had a great night.

[Dudeman]

yeah my post about it getting unhealthy was aimed just at what she did. ive been there before (except i didnt even cheat on her she was so insecure she convinced herself i did LOL), and if you would have stayed like i did it would only get worse. congrats for making a good choice, and now just enjoy life.